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The Story Must Be Told

108. The First Photo of God - Guest Preacher Elliott Friesen - The Story Must Be Told

108. The First Photo of God - Guest Preacher Elliott Friesen

Released on 07/29/2020

The separation of church and state don’t mean SHIT. Yeah, mix em up, bay-bee. Gimme some church in my state, especially in my secret government directives, ooh ooh. What would the government do with our taxes, and faith in an unseen god? Perhaps, they’d try to take a lil ol peek, heh heh. Guest Preacher: Elliott Friesen Acoustic Guitar: Elliott Friesen Invocation Zoom difficulties Liturgical Reading: “The First Photo of God” Additional Difficulties Come back in two weeks for more truth, if you’re devout true. Holy Merch: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt Patreon Divine: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
107. Cardinal Larson in “The Night of the Historical Jesus” - The Story Must Be Told

107. Cardinal Larson in “The Night of the Historical Jesus”

Released on 07/14/2020

A talking dog found today’s guest, who delivers a Story about SPICY, oh so sweet LOVE. Cardinal Larson, you rascal, and also: you tragic lover. Listen to this high octane friggin ride, and ask yourself: are you TOUGH ENOUGH to defend your love from a scorned A-list celebrity congregant? Invocation Cardinal Larson Returns Liturgical Reading: “The Night of the Historical Jesus” A Cardinal’s Goodbye What a dang thrillhouse, hot hoo hoo. Come on back for more in two weeks. Merch, for Zanes: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt Patreon, for Zeta-Joneses: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
106. The Recovered Diary - The Story Must Be Told

106. The Recovered Diary

Released on 06/30/2020

Nothing helps time in isolation like a little woof woof, a little bark bark grr grr ruff ruff. Talking DOGS. But remember: sometimes a pet is just a friend who will watch you die. After you're gone, they might even do more than watch! Nibble nibble, crunch crunch. Invocation Ruff ruff yip yip Liturgical Reading: “The Recovered Diary” Woodrow’s Burden Ohhhh a special guest is coming in two weeks, until then enjoy a 522 Club next week. Merch, for Woof Woofs: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt Patreon, for Yip Yips: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
105. I Seen Locusts Out Back - The Story Must Be Told

105. I Seen Locusts Out Back

Released on 06/16/2020

Hey! Yes you! Get out of the dirt and come inside; we got mourning to do. Yes, mourn a fresh one with us, mourn until you’re dry. Guests are coming, and they want to see your grief. A Secret Meeting The Break Room Liturgical Reading: “I Seen Locusts Out Back” Devon’s Warning The 522 Club is next week for patrons, then a fresh Story for all us lay people proper the week after. Merch, for Locusts: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt Patreon, for Pigmen: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
104. Yuck Yuck in My Mouth for a Dollar - The Story Must Be Told

104. Yuck Yuck in My Mouth for a Dollar

Released on 06/02/2020

Devon! What are you doing here? This is no place for you! Get out! OUT! Ohh, you rascal. Well, do what you want, because this Story will happen to YOU. Yeah. YOU. You think you like jokes but you ain’t heard jokes like THIS before. Sleep tiiiight. Invocation Petitions for Worthy Congregants Liturgical Reading: “Yuck Yuck in My Mouth for a Dollar” The Truth about Devon Tune in to our Patreon for a 522 Club next week, then come back home to the Story the next week for a STORY. Merch, for Yucks: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt Patreon, for Dollars: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
103. Goodnight My Love - Guest Preacher Marcus Parks, featuring Jackie Zebrowski - The Story Must Be Told

103. Goodnight My Love - Guest Preacher Marcus Parks, featuring Jackie Zebrowski

Released on 05/19/2020

Goodnight My Love is now on sale as a novella: https://a.co/d/33wdnvx When parasites fill your abdomen, take a deep breath, see your primary care provider, and ENJOY it. As a new host, try to name your new parasites with care. Welcome to the beautiful new you. Guest Preacher: Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, No Dogs in Space, www.lastpodcastlive.com for new special $6.66) Featuring: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm) Invocation Petitions for Worthy Congregants Story: “Goodnight My Love” Template for Leaving Your Family A new 522 Club next week, and after that a new, spicy Story. Ooh ooh! Merch, for Hosts: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt Patreon, for Parasites: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
102. Are You Afraid of the Story? - The Story Must Be Told

102. Are You Afraid of the Story?

Released on 05/05/2020

Hello? Who’s there? The Church is CLOSED. Oh! Goodness! It’s just you, listener. Join the clergy in the dead of night, in the empty Church, as we recount our share of spookies: Brother Reid Endures a Visitor Sister Callista Surrenders to the Parcel Pastor Andrew Interrupts Tragedy Oh how we wish the congregation could join us in hot, steamy PERSON. Merch, for Bodies: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt Patreon, for Souls: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
101. The Perfect Man - The Story Must Be Told

101. The Perfect Man

Released on 04/22/2020

Marriage consumes lives as often as it saves them. Have you been consumed by a partner, whole, so every piece of you seeks to serve the other? On the tottering seesaw of codependence, were your feet on the ground, or did you wobble in the sky, eyes focused solely on the greedy heft of your spouse? What sound will you make when you fall? This service to this here Story was crafted in conjunction with loyal patron and VIP Story Glory Guard Congregant Skylar S. Grease upon you! Invocation Psalm: “Babybotomies” Corporate Sponsor: Paul Giamatti’s Giamatteeth Liturgical Reading: “The Perfect Man” A Plea for Teeth Merch: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt Non-Canon Tracks Utilized as source music by This Story (in order of use): Jazz Tune by Loops Lab Catchy Country by Andy Slater Cuban Samba by StellarTracks Church Organ by Stockwaves Electro Jam by StudioMonkey
100. It Will Last Forever - The Story Must Be Told

100. It Will Last Forever

Released on 04/07/2020

On this, our one-hundredth proper episode, Chalms guides us to profound questions: What were you doing in the Soviet Union between 1978 and 1984? Did you suffer for your crimes? Or is your suffering yet to come? Heh heh, atone, congregants. Atone! Residing Congregant: Chalms Invocation Petitions on behalf of Worthy Congregants Liturgical Reading: “It Will Last Forever” The Boy, The Bell We have merch to spread the Story to your closet and cabinet. Slurp from within, and sup upon: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
99. The Dreamt City - The Story Must Be Told

99. The Dreamt City

Released on 03/24/2020

The places you visit in your dreams are real! The people within will find you! They will yell at you! Ohhh what did you do? Because I tell you what: you DESERVE it. Invocation Medal Award Ceremony Recipient: Woodrow the Dog Liturgical Reading: “The Dreamt City” The Return Ohhh help us enduuure, allow us to prosper: patreon.com/tsmbt
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