PODCAST
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103. Goodnight My Love 1 - Guest Preacher Marcus Parks, featuring Jackie Zebrowski
Released on 12/29/2020
Goodnight My Love is now on sale as a novella: https://a.co/d/33wdnvx
We are taking a week off and sharing this recent Story so you might be fresh and PREPARED for the next two parts coming out in the new year. Marcus and Jackie will be returning for parts 2 and 3 of Goodnight My Love.
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When parasites fill your abdomen, take a deep breath, see your primary care provider, and ENJOY it. As a new host, try to name your new parasites with care. Welcome to the beautiful new you.
Guest Preacher: Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, No Dogs in Space)
Featuring: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm)
Invocation
Petitions for Worthy Congregants
Story: “Goodnight My Love”
Template for Leaving Your Family
Merch, for Hosts: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon, for Parasites: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
117. The Adventures Of Chalmsberry Grib
Released on 12/16/2020
Mark Twain's mummified corpse spins somewhere in a shallow grave fulla dirt n worms heh heh yeah you better BELIEVE. Chalmsberry Grib could palm Tom Sawyer like a basketball and dunk that skull until it was CHUNKS. Yeah, Chalmsberry Grib, you tricky tot, tell us: where did you come from?
Hour 22 of the 522 Hour Story Fund-a-thon
Donations Honest (www.patreon.com/tsmbt)
Liturgical Reading: “The Adventures of Chalmsberry Grib”
The Fund-a-thon Continues
Stop what you're doing and CHUNK DOWN on our first ever book of poetry, fresh fresh. Over 70 psalms to delight thee, and illustrations gooey enough to clog a windpipe. We set our site to redirect to the curséd Amazon page, lo www.thestorymustbetold.com
Merch for Aunt Plusies: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon for Disemstoried Souls: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
116. Fax Cover Sheet
Released on 12/02/2020
The Story snuck into your bedroom in the middle of the night and removed something you love. Will you notice what it took? Or will you pretend not to? It’s more comfortable to be a Story coward than a Story hero. I bet YOU could tell us allllll about that.
Invocation
Psalm: “Chromosome Dance”
Liturgical Reading: “Fax Cover Sheet”
Concluding Prayer
We have a Story-darn book of gooey poetry out NOW for your humble eyes and palms. Over 70 psalms, a dozen healthy illustrations, and the BALLAD OF PREPSA in print for the first time. We set our site to redirect to the curséd Amazon page, lo www.thestorymustbetold.com
Merch for Characters: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon for Authors: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
115. The Voluntary Heart
Released on 11/17/2020
I got an arrhythmia and it starts with an S, and ends with a TORY. YEAH. My heart beats for the STORY, thump thump. Oooh, and if you open up your ears real wide, it’ll thump in you, too, tee hee.
Cro-Croa Daytime
Liturgical Reading: “The Voluntary Heart”
Cro-Croa PM
Thump thump, congregants, we’ll thump ya again in two thumps of the week’s thump.
Merch for Daytime: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon for PM: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
Ooh and some extra special merch coming soooooooon wink wink.
114. The Book of Keith - Guest Preacher Danny Tamberelli
Released on 11/06/2020
Child transformation! Spooky, scary. Boys becoming scaly, dads becoming sad. Enjoy the first Story channeled through our scabby assistant groundskeeper, Devon.
The service to this glorious Story was crafted in conjunction with humble patron and VIP Story Glory Guard Congregant Dakota V! The Story’s gonna getchya, heh heh.
Our Virtuous Guest Preacher: Danny Tamberelli (The Adventures of Danny and Mike podcast, Insta @dannytamberelli)
Story Housecalls
Invocation
Psalm: “The Dogs of Marital Success”
Liturgical Reading: “The Book of Keith”
Mariba’s Gift
Next service is in two weeks, heh heh.
Merch for CROCS: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon for GATORS: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
113. A Guided Meditation
Released on 10/21/2020
Shhhh, breathe in. Breathe out. Keep breathing out. Out! OUT! I did NOT say “in.” OUT.
Today, we calm it down, grease it up, and relax our minds into a state of responsive, ready terror. Breathe with us—and keep them pearly winkers SHUT.
Story retreat
Bonfire
Liturgical Reading: “A Guided Meditation”
Concluding Remarks
In two weeks we’ll grease you up again, mm mmm
Merch for THINKERS: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon for STINKERS: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
112. Lil Sips
Released on 10/06/2020
Hark! Praise! Today is Greasegiving! What a HOLY DAY. Today we learn every Truth, and witness the Greatest Story Of All Time. We honor Devon, for some reason. Also: there’s a psalm.
Invocation
Petitions for Glorious Congregants
Psalm: “Lil Sips”
Liturgical Reading: The Story of Revelation FEATURING Every Answer Ever
Concluding Remarks
Solos improvised by Al Piela https://alpiela.com/
We’ll see you in two weeks FRESH
Merch for CHUGS: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon for SIPS: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
111. Are You Afraid of the Story: Aliens
Released on 09/08/2020
It’s late, and a sweet lil Devon had another nightmare. Sounds like it’s time for some STORY. Cuddle up, wriggle your toes, and prepare yourself for three tales with the UTMOST loose connective tissue. Talkin’ ALIENS. YES.
Matching Pajamas
Liturgical Readings:
“Chunk Riots”
“The Pee Room”
“Spooky Aliens!”
Goodnight
The Story is taking a well-deserved break. We will return with a new Story October 6th. There’s still a 522 Club next week for patreons!
Merch for YOU: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon for YOU AS WELL: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
110. And America Makes Two!
Released on 08/25/2020
Ameri-come one and all, to the rootinest tootinest Story this here Story mouth ever done Storied. You better bet your ASS that Tim Allen pops up in this wild hogride. That’s just what happens when you AMERICA.
Heartfelt Sentiments
An Unwelcome Guest
Liturgical Reading: “And America Makes Two!”
A Welcome Guest
Tuck your hand between your pits, clamp down, and tug. That’s how you salute THE STORY.
Merch for Americans*: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon for REAL Americans*: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
*or non-Americans. If you got cheddar, we ain’t stoppin’ no one, nuh uh
109. The Grief Market - Guest Preacher Jackie Zebrowski
Released on 08/11/2020
You’ll never miss no one as much as you miss CELEBRITY. CELEBRITY is how you know what it means to live. No one alive is happier than CELEBRITY—so when they die it’s a-mournin’ time, heh heh. HONK HONK, GRIEF GRIEF.
Guest Preacher: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 Podcast, @jackthatworm on Instagram)
Invocation
Petitions for Dutiful Congregants
Liturgical Reading: “The Grief Market”
Concluding Prayer
In two weeks we can stew again in the hot flavors of STORY.
Merch so HOT: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt
Patreon so SENSUAL: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
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