The Horror Virgin

"If you want it to be less formal, you’re gonna have to take off the fucks-edo."

This weeks scariest movie is... Night of the Comet. This movie has everything. A retail uprising led by Stockboy Willie, the patron saint of mall trauma, Survivors who were clearly chosen by Zordon for their teenage attitude and excellent hair, and a sexy comet that turns everyone into glittery Himalayan sea salt. If you love post-apocalyptic mall chaos, Power Rangers logic, and sparkly extinction events, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Slither (2006)

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"What if we turn on the death machine that gives us boners?"

This week’s horniest horror movie is... From Beyond. This film has everything: a scientist who accidentally builds a machine that unlocks the horny dimension, a sentient nut sack villain with a brain-dick, and Ken Foree fighting interdimensional monsters… in nothing but a Speedo. If you love cosmic horror, body horror, and movies that make you say, "Wait, does this need more sex or less?", this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Night of the Comet (1984)

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"Climb, girl, climb!"

This weeks scariest movie is.... Night of the Demons. This movie has everything, A funeral home with a terrible backstory, a Spooky Strobe light Burlesque, and a hidden compartment you never saw coming. So grab your boombox, avoid mirrors, and for the love of God—CLIMB, GIRL, CLIMB!

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Up Next: From Beyond (1986)

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"I do declare, your smoked meats are superior."

This weeks Scariest movie is.... Motel Hell. This movie has everything. A motel that may or may not double as a swingers' paradise. A meat-smoking entrepreneur whose meats get way too many sexual compliments. 50 Cent’s lost Halloween album, Rump Scare. A philosophical debate on whether vegans would eat people if they were planted like vegetables. It's Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets Top Chef meets the world’s most unsettling farm-to-table experience. So grab a Slim Jim (or maybe don’t), because it takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent’s fritters.

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Up Next: Night of the Demons (1988)

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"Never follow a billionaire to a second location unless they don’t know you’re following them."

This week’s scariest movie is Blink Twice. This movie has everything: sinister billionaires, mind-wiping perfume, and Channing Tatum’s suspicious new teeth.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Is this CEO trying to kill everyone… OR just me?” while staring longingly out a rainy window—this film is for you.

We break down the Rules for Dealing with Billionaires, admire Tanning Chatham’s commitment to rich guy menace, and pitch the greatest reality show never made: Hot Survivor Bitches.

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Up Next: Motel Hell (1980)

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"This whole street is haunted"

Join the gang this week while we break down Demián Rugna's Terrified. This movie isn't just scary, its a fun twist on a classic haunted house story. We hope you enjoy this episode half as much as this movie scared Todd. Enjoy!

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Up Next: Dawn of the Dead (1978)

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"One can never give a child enough supports"

Join the gang with week while we break down the 2007 The Orphanage.  This movie has everything.  A mom who's basically a goth Peter Pan, searching high and low for her missing crew of lost boys.  There's this creepy cave that's basically a magnet for every kid with a death wish. And let's not forget about the little one with a life story so tragic, Shakespeare's tragedies are shaking. Buckle up, because this episode will take you on a roller coaster ride through every emotion you wish you didn't know you had.

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Up Next: Terrified (2017)

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"It's Blade, Ryan Reynolds, and Jessica (not Alba). "

This week's hottest movie is... Blade: Trinity. This movie has everything: a vampire apocalypse, a wisecracking vampire hunter, and a laser bow. Oh, And did I mention Dracula shapeshifts and runs shirtless through the desert? If you love vampire hunters who 30 seconds of screen time loading songs on to her first generation iPod during fights, you’ll enjoy the hell out of this wild movie.

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Up Next: Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)

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"This movie has weird values"

This week's strangest movie is... Knock at the Cabin. This movie has everything: A cabin in the woods, harrowing choices, and a real "will they/Won't they" about whether they will allow this family to live. Enjoy our episode on Knock at the Cabin.

Help Dan Kirk: (GoFundMe):

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-dan-kirk-with-als-medical-expenses

Help Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirgin

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Up Next: The Final Girls (2015)

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"Tina is a Shakespearian level character"

This week's hottest movie is... The Final Girls. This movie has everything: time travel, scream queens, machete-wielding maniacs, tearful mother-daughter moments, and a killer that is on the hunt for boobies. If you love genre-bending films with a heartwarming twist, you'll lovre this movie and episode!

Help Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirgin

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Up Next: The Final Girls (2015)

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