The Horror Virgin

"Sometimes movie sets be haunted, you guys"

This week’s hottest movie is... The Exorcism (2024). This film has everything: a washed-up actor, a daughter questioning if her father's demons are literal or figurative, and a reveal so disappointing we were legit sad when it happened. If you're into meta-horror that makes you question what's real, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: Subservience (2024)

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"It's clear not enough of you have googled Porter Rockwell"

This week’s hottest movie is... Heretic. This film has everything: two Mormon missionaries, a sinister, and a house would make H. H. Holmes jealous. You’ve got theological debates that escalate faster than Todd can bring up he was raised the in LDS Church and Paige droping tons of cult knowledge. If you’re into faith-based thrillers that test the limits of belief, you won’t want to miss this!

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Up Next: The Exorcism (2024)

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"Arguably a better ending than Scream!"

This film has everything: ghostface killers, a group of teens so clueless they make actual horror protagonists look like geniuses, and pop culture references so 2000s they should come with a dial-up modem. If you love slashers, satire, and comedy that hits way harder than it should, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Vampire in Brooklyn (1995)

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"I got dick'ed down so bad that I moved."

This weeks scariest movie was... Vampire in Brooklyn.  This movie has everything: a toothy prince looking for his queen, an ancient supernatural bachelor patiently waiting for his best friend's kid to grow up so he can shoot his immortal shot, and a Scream connections you'll never see coming. Will Todd survive this bizarre Coming to America meets Dracula fever dream? Will Paige convince us that this movie is secretly amazing? And most importantly, how does one get dick down so bad they have to relocate? Tune in and find out!

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Up Next: Vampire in Brooklyn (1995)

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"Never follow a billionaire to a second location unless they don’t know you’re following them."

This week’s scariest movie is Blink Twice. This movie has everything: sinister billionaires, mind-wiping perfume, and Channing Tatum’s suspicious new teeth.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Is this CEO trying to kill everyone… OR just me?” while staring longingly out a rainy window—this film is for you.

We break down the Rules for Dealing with Billionaires, admire Tanning Chatham’s commitment to rich guy menace, and pitch the greatest reality show never made: Hot Survivor Bitches.

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Up Next: Motel Hell (1980)

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"I do declare, your smoked meats are superior."

This weeks Scariest movie is.... Motel Hell. This movie has everything. A motel that may or may not double as a swingers' paradise. A meat-smoking entrepreneur whose meats get way too many sexual compliments. 50 Cent’s lost Halloween album, Rump Scare. A philosophical debate on whether vegans would eat people if they were planted like vegetables. It's Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets Top Chef meets the world’s most unsettling farm-to-table experience. So grab a Slim Jim (or maybe don’t), because it takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent’s fritters.

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Up Next: Night of the Demons (1988)

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"Climb, girl, climb!"

This weeks scariest movie is.... Night of the Demons. This movie has everything, A funeral home with a terrible backstory, a Spooky Strobe light Burlesque, and a hidden compartment you never saw coming. So grab your boombox, avoid mirrors, and for the love of God—CLIMB, GIRL, CLIMB!

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Up Next: From Beyond (1986)

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“The monkey is basically Tommy Lee, and I'm sick of pretending not to notice.”

This week’s most unhinged horror movie is... The Monkey. This film has everything: An electric detonation, A stripper face reveal that will blow your mind, and a haunted toy chimp that was just following orders. If you love flamethrower pawn shops, placenta-fueled twin rage, and Planet of the Apes energy with zero restraint, this episode’s for you!

What did you all think of our episode on The Monkey?

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Up Next: Sinners (2025)

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"If you want it to be less formal, you’re gonna have to take off the fucks-edo."

This weeks scariest movie is... Night of the Comet. This movie has everything. A retail uprising led by Stockboy Willie, the patron saint of mall trauma, Survivors who were clearly chosen by Zordon for their teenage attitude and excellent hair, and a sexy comet that turns everyone into glittery Himalayan sea salt. If you love post-apocalyptic mall chaos, Power Rangers logic, and sparkly extinction events, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Slither (2006)

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"If your husband comes back from the woods with a virus, just pack a bag and go."

This week’s slimiest horror movie is... Slither. This film has everything: a man so nice they infected him twice, A small-town countdown to deer season, and a "Backter" reveal that will blow your mind. If you love parasitic slugs, small-town chaos, and family values warped by alien hive minds, this episode’s for you!

Help Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirgin

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Up Next: Smile 2 (2024)

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