Horror Movie Talk

The Invisible Man is the first horror movie of the year worth… seeing. Writer/director Leigh Whannel reframes the H.G. Wells source material in a thrilling and fresh adaptation. After two months of truly mediocre horror releases, The Invisible Man is a gasp of fresh air.

The Invisible Man can be…SEEN in theaters now.

Film Synopsis

The Invisible Man follows Cecilia, played by Elizabeth Moss, as she fearfully escapes her manipulative and violently abusive boyfriend Adrian, played by Oliver Jackson-Cohen. Soon after she leaves him, he commits suicide and leaves her a considerable amount of money in his will. Her deceased ex was one of the world’s foremost experts on optics and was very wealthy. Cecilia is still mentally scarred by their abusive ex, that she finds it hard to believe that he is actually dead. This seemingly unreasonable paranoia gets confirmed to her as she is haunted and by an unseen tormentor.

This Invisible Man ramps up the terror and violence to the point that everyone around Cecilia assumes that she is having a mental break. Even her closest friends and family don’t believe her, leaving her hopeless as she tries to defend herself. She struggles to prove that her ex is still alive and continuing his abuse while he actively tries to frame her for murder.

Review of The Invisible Man

I’ll tell you what. This movie is a breath of fresh air after a stagnant two months of new releases in the horror category. It’s is written and directed by Leigh Whannell who you might know as the writer/director of Upgrade, or as an actor in The Bye Bye Man. He shows himself to be very competent at writing and directing with this film.

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The skill of Whannel is shown in the opening of The Invisible Man, which follows the motto of “show don’t tell”. So much is communicated about Cecilia and Adrian’s relationship just from her actions and facial expressions in the first 5 minutes of the film. The film also shows a lot of well tuned restraint by not focusing on the sci-fi elements like most other Invisible Man movies do. 

It’s themes explore the topic of abuse in a really interesting and thought- provoking way. Abusive partners are often “invisible” to the world since that side of the abusers personality isn’t often shown to others. The historical abuse of Cecilia in this film feels real and tangible, even though it’s never shown in flashbacks. It’s communicated through the aftereffects and trauma that Cecilia displays.

This is a great example of a thriller that leans into the horror aspects of that label. There are genuinely surprising moments and many times that I jumped out of my seat.

This is a very very good movie, and you should definitely see it.

Score for The Invisible Man (2020)

9/10

Spoilers

Expand for spoilers section

Adrian

The Adrian character is pretty “invisible” to the audience throughout the whole movie. This isn’t just because he is physically invisible, but also because his motives are murky, and we are only given second-third hand information about him from the other characters.

We briefly get a glimpse of him when he attacks Cecilia in the car as she leaves, but we don’t get a good look at him until the very end of the movie.

It’s very effective. Once we do see him, the charmed veneer is completely undercut by what we have witnessed throughout the movie, allowing the audience to experience the distrust that Cecilia experiences first hand.

Cecilia’s disbelief

Cecilia when she is informed of Adrian’s death, it is is obvious that she is very suspicious. She is used to being ghostlit and manipulated.

Only until she sees the will and the urn with “Adrian’s ashes” does her countenance change to relief.

Once she starts experiencing unexplained sounds and occurrences, it seems like she immediately recognizes the presence, even without seeing Adrian.

Empty Shots

A lot of shots of this movie were of empty space, ala Paranormal activity. It was actually very effective. The premise of the movie tells us that something could be there at all times, and the audience is always looking for movement to betray Adrian’s presence.

James Lanier

The one stand out presence in this film was definitely Aldis Hodge playing James Lanier, the cop who is housing Cecilia.

He made us question our sexuality.

The Best Scene in The Invisible Man

The best scene by far is when Cecilia invites her sister to dinner to reconciliate, after Adrian sends a cruel email from her account. The scene feels like it is setting itself up as a turning point for Cecilia getting her only family member back on her side.

All of a sudden, a knife floats in the air, and then swiftly slits the sister’s throat. It is an instantly iconic scene that is genuinely shocking.

Adrian’s Brother

The mystery of the film is the question of how Adrian is invisible and really why he is still tormenting Cecilia. Eventually these questions are answered, and Adrian’s lawyer brother Tom is in the middle of it.

Tom is the lawyer that contacts Cecilia, and even though he is a little prickly, he confides that Adrian abused him all of his life, and that there was no love lost there.

It turns out that Tom didn’t really hate his brother, or at the very least was in cahoots with him. Adrian’s motives were to get Cecilia back and to have a child with her. Tom ends up being the messenger for Adrian.

The Invisibility was achieved with a suit equipped with thousands of cameras. Cecilia discovers that there are two of these suits and hides one.

Towards the end of the film, Tom is actually the one in the suit, and ends up getting killed.

Adrian is found tied up in his basement. This is an obvious ruse to frame Tom and get another chance at Cecilia.

The ending

Cecilia tries to get a confession out of Adrian, but he is too clever and knows what she is trying to do.

Cecilia excuses herself for a moment, and in full view of the surveillance camera, Adrian seemingly picks up a knife and slits his own throat. In reality, Cecilia has put on the extra invisibility suit and murdered him.

Cecilia then returns within view of the camera to “discover” Adrian bleeding out.

We saw Brahms: The Boy II in theaters and it was so bland and unfulfilling that I questioned whether or not I want to spend my free time reviewing movies of this caliber. As soon as I asked that question of myself, I realized that the answer is obviously –  yes. I need to watch these boring hunks of junk to make sure you don’t have to.

Synopsis

The Boy II is a
stand-alone sequel to the somewhat more interesting movie, The Boyfrom 2016, which you can currently watch on Amazon
for $3.99.

It was directed by William Brent Bell, who has been directing
horror movies like The
Devil Inside, and the original The Boyfrom 2016.

This is the story of a
family of three, Liza (Katie Holmes), Sean (Owain Yeoman), and their son Jude (Christopher Convery) that escape to the
countryside to heal after a burglary gone wrong at their house in London.

Watch Brahms: The Boy II

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Jude, the young son
stops talking following the attack, and when the family shows up at the guest
house on the Heelshire estate (where the original The Boy took place) he
finds a doll buried in the woods. 

The doll and Jude share
a lot in common: not talking, staring blankly at whoever addresses them,
generally being boring, and desiring to kill whole families. Through a notepad
that Jude uses to communicate, we learn that the doll is named Brahms, and he
has a bunch of rules for the family to follow. 

You would be surprised
how stringent these rules are, so they are broken often and the family is
thrown into an uproar each time.

Eventually, we find out
that Brahms is more doll than this family bargained for.

Review

Brahms: The Boy II is a sincerely boring movie that does everything technically
correct on paper. Casting, acting, pacing, direction – it’s all passable. The
end result is boring as sin, though. At least movies like Fantasy Island are so zany that they are
fun in an ironic way.

Brahms: The Boy II bored me to tears and I don’t believe that you should ever watch
it. 

Score

3/10

Spoilers

Click to Expand for Brahms: The Boy II Spoilers

As I write this I am bored to tears at the prospect of
having to relive the minutiae of The Boy II, but here it goes.

Jude is Mute

The burglary/attack on Liza and Jude really did a number on
them, and Jude ends up going mute. Great, now we have to hear two nagging
parents dote on their child throughout this already tedious script.

Jude going mute is supposed to add to the spook factor of
the whole thing by making us relate to the parent’s further challenge of
reaching their troubled child. Instead, Jude having to write out his every
response adds padding to an already slim movie.

Jude not talking also helps to draw a closer parallel with
him and Brahms, the doll. By the end of the movie, Jude is dressing, doing his
hair, and wearing a mask that makes him look just like the doll

The Brahms Doll

MORE: Click
Here for our blog about some of the most deadly horror movie dolls

Brahms is truly one of the most uninspired and generic horror
movie dolls that I’ve ever seen. He has no hook, nothing that makes him interesting
at all.

What are Brahms origins? There was once a boy on the Heelshire
Estate that killed his family. His soul got into his doll.

That’s it.

The End

Brahms: The Boy II ends in the least satisfying way
it possibly could have – a history lesson. The groundskeeper tells the family
about the backstory of the doll and gives us a bit of a montage of the
destruction the boy doll caused.

The dad smacks the doll’s head and a weird creepy face is
revealed beneath his smooth veneer.

Then the cliffhanger at the very end, once the danger is gone, is that Jude still enjoys wearing doll-like masks and might still kill his family.

Neat.

Final Reommendation for Brahms: The Boy II

This isn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen but in terms of something that’s worthy of your time, it ain’t. Don’t support this; we want less of this.

Horror Movie News with Ben Warrington

1. Spiral: From The Book of Saw – Darren Lynn Bousman takes the helm of the 9^th installation of the Saw franchise. Written and starring Chris Rock, this movie has an expected release date of 15^th May 2020 worldwide. Also starring Samuel L Jackson, so get ready Mother Buckets!
2. Borderlands Movie – Hostel director Eli Roth is helming Gearbox’s long-in-the-works Borderlands movie. A film adaptation of the popular post-apocalyptic comedy shooter was first announced all the way back in 2015, with development being handled by movie studio Lionsgate.
3. Orphan Prequel – William Brent Bell, the helmer of such horror films as The Boy, The Devil Inside and Wer, has come on board to direct Esther, the prequel to 2009 hit Orphan.
4. A24’s Saint Maud– The debut film of writer/director Rose Glass, “Saint Maud” is the latest bold horror movie from A24, the studio that brought you Robert Eggers’ “The Witch,” and Ari Aster’s “Hereditary” and “Midsommar.” Opening March 27, 2020 in the U.S., the film premiered at the 2019 Toronto International Film Festival. Watch the first trailer for the film below.
5. Shudder March Additions- “The Room” premieres on March 12; in this film about the dark power of wishes one couple discovers having everything they want is a dangerous proposition. March 19th brings Fangoria’s “Satanic Panic” to the service. The Chelsea Stardust directed film blends horror and comedy for a different take on the final girl fighting to survive. “Daniel Isn’t Real” finally makes it way to Shudder on March 26th. Patrick Schwarzenegger and Miles Robbins star in the story of a man whose imaginary friend poses a threat to his sanity as well as his life. Make sure you use that promo code to watch some simply amazing horror!

Trailers to look out for:

Saint Maud:

Spiral: From the book of Saw

The Invisible Man

Bens Recommended Underground Film Recommendation

 Feedback (2019)

We went and saw Blumhouse‘s Fantasy Island, and it was exactly as good as you would expect it to be. It’s a needless remake of the campy 70’s TV show of the same name. It’s entertaining, but nothing to write home about. One this episode of Horror Movie Talk we give our full review and breakdown of the film.

Blumhouse’s Fantasy Island can be found in theaters now

Blumhouse’s Fantasy Island Synopsis

In this film adaptation of the campy 70’s TV show, five guests played by hot supple young actors and Jimmy O. Yang arrive at an exclusive and secretive island resort run by the mysterious Mr. Rourke, played by Michael Pena. Each guest gets to experience one and ONLY one fantasy until it plays out to “it’s natural conclusion.” And get this… [SPOILER WARNING] the natural conclusion…is spooky-scary.

Review

My assessment of this movie upon leaving the theater was “This is a 10/10 for a 5/10 movie,” and I stand by that. This is not a great movie, but it does meet the table stakes of being entertaining. The premise is interesting enough, the dialogue isn’t completely awful, and the acting is actually pretty good. The fantasies each have their own unique flavor, and end up intermingling in interesting ways. The “12 inch pianist” genie level twists are different levels of tacked-on.

The most natural dark twist comes with the revenge fantasy from Lucy Hale’s hottie character Melanie. It makes sense that actually hurting other people that hurt you might not be as pleasurable as you would imagine.

Other fantasy twists range from weird but interesting to completely eye-rolling-ly artificial in premise.

The first 3/4s of the film go down a predictable and competent path to set up the premise, develop the characters, explain the fantasies, and show the dark side of each. The last fourth is a series of “surprises” and reveals that feel like the film version of a run-on sentence. Blumhouse’s Fantasy Island isn’t deep or earth shattering, but giving credit where credit is due, it is entertaining.

Score for Fantasy Island

5/10

Spoilers for Fantasy Island

Final Recommendation

This is not a great movie, but there really isn’t much wrong with it either. It would make a good date movie. High schoolers that aren’t super jaded about horror movies will likely really enjoy it as well.

(Hansel and Gretel Movie)

We saw Gretel & Hansel in theaters and I was pleasantly surprised with something that might not be the most groundbreaking film we’ve ever watched, but it succeeds admirably at breathing new life into this classic Grimm fairy tale.

@dgoebel00 on instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.

Gretel & Hansel Trailer

Gretel & Hansel Synopsis

Gretel & Hansel is a reimagining and retelling of; you guessed it, Hansel and Gretel – the classic tale that warns kids not to take candy from strangers. Well, the kids are back and they have a sweet tooth.

Gretel & Hansel is the third film from director Oz Perkins, who also did a cult favorite, The Blackcoat’s Daughter.

This story retains all the crucial elements of the story. There are two kids (Sophia Lillis from IT as Gretel and Samuel Leakey as Hansel) who are unceremoniously kicked out of their house in the times of yore by their mother who can’t afford to feed them. 

Watch Gretel & Hansel

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They kick
around the woods for a while, starving and scared, jostled by a world that is
cruel and spooky before stumbling upon a house out in the woods. 

This house
is owned by Barbara Crampton’s final form, Holda the witch (Alice Krige). The witch lures the kids in with delectable food, but she seems,
kind of evil.

Well, she
is evil.

Gretel & Hansel Review

To me, it is surprising that Gretel and Hansel got as wide a release as it did because it has “current indy horror movie” written all over it. Also January, February, and March of 2020 is about as chalk full of horror as any year that I can recall.

Gretel and Hansel takes a slightly different approach to the classic and makes it a coming of age story for our female protagonist.

This movie drips with aesthetic and I swear to God the witches’ house is made by the same architect as the house from Ex Machina. Very sparse, norse sensibilities are present in the scenes, which, if you are a fan of our show, you know we love the Scandinavians and their sensibilities. 

The
brooding, doom-laden feel of this movie is a great way to take something as
classic as Hansel and Gretel and make me care. Every corner of this film is
foreboding and off-feeling. 

The lighting is so dark that it reminded me of the Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln flick from 2012. Lots of candles used for lighting made me feel like I was right there with the kids in this strange and terrifying house.

I love the acting and the style that Gretel & Hansel goes with and the atmosphere is dead-on.

My only
problem with this movie is that it droops throughout. As far as slow-burns go,
this is as slow as they come, and while it works to an extent, I wish they
would have stopped chewing the fat and cut some of the more indulgent walks in
the woods and dream sequences in favor of keeping my attention. 

At 87 minutes, it’s a pretty short movie, but I feel it could have easily been 70 minutes, and it would have felt very appropriate.

Score

7/10

Spoilers

Click to Expand Spoilers

Backstory on the witch

The movie starts
describing the origin of the witch. There is a gifted child, and an illness
befalls her. The father of the child is told to be brave against the darkness
and takes the girl to be healed. The child is gifted with something called
“second sight”. She is healed, but the gift of healing comes with an unseen
curse. 

This little girl, the
witch, is evil. She kills her dad and others in the village before she is taken
out into the woods and banished.

Here we are given the
tagline of the movie, “Beware gifts because those that offer them might mess
you up hardcore.”

The World is a Cruel,
Scary Place

The kid’s mom is not a
nice lady. Actually, she is legit nuts. She aggressively pushes her kids out of
the house and into a world that wants nothing more than to gobble them up.

There are close calls,
zombies, and a bunch of menacing figures in the background who are swallowed up
by the thick, milky mist.The atmosphere is bleak and terrifying, and it works
really well.

The Witches House and
Possible Anti-Semitism

Eventually, the kids stumble
across the witch’s house, and just like everything else in this movie, it’s
dripping with aesthetic.

The door of the house is
made up of a Star of David pattern, which really flipped a switch in my brain.
An evil person who steals and eats children has the Star of David patterned
across her door?

The house is sparse and
dark, lit only by candles – it’s also hard to tell exactly how large it is. In
the secret room that is hidden below the house, there is also a candelabra or bastardized
Menorah that makes an appearance.

This feels noteworthy to
me because I know that the Brothers Grimm who
wrote Hansel and Gretel had some very anti-semitic fairy tales, like The Jew Among The
Thorns.

How is Gretel &
Hansel Different than Hansel and Gretel?

Gretel & Hansel is a coming of age story for Gretel, instead of an outright warning
against accepting gifts. The gift being given in this movie is the gift of
womanhood or femininity.

The witch is out to trap
Gretel in her web of femininity by appealing to her with power and knowledge.
She eats kids, not only to gain powers and stay super witchy but to build a
tolerance to the thing that is a poison to her – children or motherhood.

She offers Gretel the
knowledge and powers that she has but warns her that she too must eat her
poison to gain resistance to her own poison. Gretel’s poison is the onus of
taking care of her brother, so it’s time to eat Hansel.

The Ending

Gretel burns the witch and Hansel makes it out alive – SHOCKER.

Final Recommendations

If you enjoy foreboding, spooky aesthetics and great camera work this is a great choice. It’s an even better choice if you don’t mind a story that moves very slowly.

We have a packed episode this week. We review the surprisingly good Color Out Of Space, interview the lovely Tara Westwood from The Grudge (2020), and play a new game called “fNICt or fCAGEtion”. Hold on to your alpacas, and listen to the latest Horror Movie Talk!

We went and saw a screening of Color Out of Space, and turns out the color out of space…  was purple

Color Out of Space Synopsis

Color Out of Space is a documentary of a normal Tuesday for Nicolas Cage. Sorry, that’s wrong, it’s actually based off of an H.P. Lovecraft short story of the same name. The film tells the story of the Gardner family living on a remote homestead inherited by the patriarch Nathan, played by the old god, Nicolas Cage. The rest of the Gardeners are the mother Theresa (Joely Richardson), daughter Lavinia (Madeleine Arthur), and two sons Benny (Brendan Meyer) and Jack (Julian Hilliard). 

One night a meteor from SPACE came crashing down into their front yard, and infects the space time continuum with a color that has never been seen before, but is somehow nefarious.

Review of Color Out Of Space

You might be asking yourself… how do you film a story that revolves around the concept of a color that hasn’t been seen before? That’s a good question. I don’t have an answer, but I can tell you that Richard Stanley has somehow pulled it off.

This is probably one of the best depictions of cosmic horror that I have ever seen on film. Not that I have seen many, but this one is actually a really impressive adaptation of HP Lovecraft. It falls in that genre of “Weird Tale” that most recently represented in theaters by The Lighthouse.

There are direct quotations from the source material, and the tone is very Lovecraftian, save for two aspects. 

1. It’s set in modern times
2. It’s not told via a third person recounting of a third person recounting of another third person account.

The parts that are very Lovecraftian are the madness, corruption, ineffective magical rituals, and the scientist that exists only to state that something is beyond science.

The corruption of the land and people happens very gradually, but builds up to a crescendo of sensory overload that is really impressive. It’s a very visually impressive movie and definitely one that you might want to go to high as balls.

Score

9/10

Color Out Of Space

Add Color Out Of Space to your collection

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Interview of Tara Westwood

We had the special honor of interviewing the lovely and talented Tara Westwood. Horror movie fans will know her from her most recent role in The Grudge which is still in theaters around the world, as well as some other horror movies you might have stumbled across on Amazon Prime such as Hell Girl or A Haunting at Silver Falls.

Follow Tara on Instagram, Twitter to stay apprised of her new projects.

fNICt or fCAGEtion

In our newest game, I read a series of Nic Cage “facts” to David, and he had to guess if they were fNICt (fact) or fCAGEtion (fiction). Here is the list of insane Nic Cage facts. See if you can spot the fake ones. Answer key to follow.

1. He was born Nicolas Coppola and he decided to change his last name after actors resented him because his uncle is the renowned director Francis Ford Coppola.
2. He chose “Cage,” as his last name because he was inspired by the African-American comic book superhero Luke Cage.
3. When he was four, he would have this recurring dream in which “I was on the toilet and this giant blonde genie woman in a gold bikini would reach into the bathroom window like King Kong and pluck me off of the toilet seat and laugh at me.”
4. He once had a pet octopus
5. He bought a stolen T-Rex Skull
6. He owns an egyptian mummy
7. He once slept in the ruins of Dracula’s Castle
8. In Birdy (1984), he played a ladies man who was severely wounded in Vietnam, and during production, he decided to get his teeth pulled so that he could “connect with some kind of physical pain.”
9. Jim Carrey offered him a role in Dumb and Dumber, but that he turned it down for a part as an alcoholic in Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
10. He named one of his sons Kal-el, after Superman’s “Kryptonian name.
11. He named one of his daughter’s Zod, after Superman’s Kryptonian nemesis
12. He sometimes wears two pairs of sunglasses
13. His favorite sandwich is roast lamb on white bread with “a bit of mayonnaise and arugula,”
14. He got a “large” back tattoo of a lizard in a top hat and cane
15. During shooting Ghost Rider, on scenes where he transformed into Ghost Rider, he would act with a railroad spike up his rectum.
16. HE has already bought a nine foot tall stone pyramid to be buried in.
17. He refuses to eat any living thing that has sex in a way he doesn’t find attractive.
18. He has a penile bisection, a body modification procedure where the glans is split down the middle.
19. He had a stalker that was a mime that would pantomime a number of weird actions during the shooting of Raising Arizona
20. He bought the most haunted mansion in the world so he could write a horror novel.  

We saw The Turning in theaters and it’s got a ton of jumpscares and some great acting, but it is hamstrung by a script that never had a clue where it was going despite having a very clear and high-quality roadmap of the story that it was based upon – The Turn of the Screw.

@dgoebel00 on instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.

The Turning Trailer

The Turning Synopsis

While I
have never read the 1898 novella, The Turn of the Screw, by Henry James, I have
a feeling that it would not lend itself to the silver screen without a fair
amount of changes to the original story to make it more appealing for audiences
today. After having read some briefs and synopses of the novella, this movie
mimics it almost point for point. 

We have a young teacher,
Kate (Mackenzie Davis), who is hired on a palatial estate to teach and
govern a young child, Flora (Brooklynn Prince). There is one other inhabitant on the grounds,
Mrs. Grose, who is the cook and maid.

Watch The Turning

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After a
short time, Flora’s teenage brother, Miles (Finn Wolfhard) appears following being expelled from school. He
is quickly set up to be the antagonist of the story, seemingly very crude,
lude, and rapey.

The story
of Kate then unravels itself in shockingly slow, slow motion that is fraught
with the most exhausting bevy of jumpscares and twisty-turny bologna that I can
recall.

The ghost
of the previous teacher is hanging around, and the ghost of her killer, Miles
friend, Quint, is too. 

The Turning Review

I would be
lying if I told you I understood what exactly there was to be scared of in this
movie. I believe The Turn of the Screw was originally a very well written
spooky ghost story. This movie is not adapted well to the big screen, probably
because it didn’t expand much on the original novella. 

The acting
was actually pretty good, especially from both child actors, and the setting
was pretty effective as well. The script was the real issue here, as there is
just nothing around for it to hang its hat on and make it memorable or
interesting.

A better version of
roughly this same story, is found in 2018’s The Little Stranger. The Little Stranger
understood ambiguity and how to use it. Is the main character losing his mind
or is this place haunted? I think ambiguity is what the source material is
about, and it’s replaced in The Turning by confusion.

Score

4/10

Spoilers

Click to Expand for Spoilers

Kate is called to act as the new governess for the children,
who are recently orphaned. More to the point, she is supposed to watch Flora
and later Miles shows up because it is revealed that he is expelled from his
school for shocking violence.

Wait… You know it might just be easier if you read the
actual plot of The Turn of the Screw novella from this Wikipedia
article. Yes, this movie occurs in almost exactly the same timeline as that
section of the wiki. Seem uninspired? Yeah, it kind of is.

The Jumpscares

There are lots of jumpscares in this movie, some good, some
not so good. But there are tons! There are so many jumpscares that I started to
become shellshocked, or at least exhausted by them.

Every day in the story contains light frivolity and a pang
of weirdness, and every night contains a healthy dose of jumpscares and dark
hallways.

The House

This house is seriously huge and suffers from a major case
of spooky house syndrome (SHS). It’s got lights that turn on and off for no
reason, sewing machines the pop to life, and dozens of mannequins ready to
terrify as Kate backs into them, one after another.

While the house is plenty spooky, it’s not utilized in the
way that it could have been. There is an eerie line delivered at the start of
the movie by one of the children about the East wing. “We don’t go there.” The ‘why’
to that could have been explored and expanded upon to such a degree that the
movie would be substantive.

The Lack of Ambiguity

The thing that made the original story work, from what I
have read, is ambiguity. There is supposed to be a question of whether or not
this house is haunted or whether Kate is losing her mind. Is young Miles
actually a terror who wants to have sex with his governess or is he being
controlled by the spirit of Quint?

None of this ambiguity makes it to the audience in The
Turning. Instead, it’s a mishmash of confusing maybe-it-happened
maybe-it-didn’t dream sequences and nightmares.

The End

Holy hell. First, we get a false ending. Kate drives the
kids off of the property under extreme duress and escapes. But then she wakes
up and is scolded for being crazy by the children and the maid.

There is a half-baked attempt to suggest that Kate is exactly
as her mother is – totally insane, then the movie ends.

There is no follow-through, no explanation – it just ends.

Final Recommendations

Kids and teens might be in over their heads in terms of scares with The Turning, but I think the PG-13 rating makes it for them more than anyone else. If you have a well-refined bullshit-o-meter, stay away.

Horror Movie News

The Onania Club trailer from writer, director Tom Six gives a glimpse into one of the most fucked up ideas I can imagine.

Our patrons voted for this week’s movie review, and they selected Crawl. This was a movie we let slip by us when it was in theaters. However, now we know, you don’t just slip by gators, they will look for you, they will find you, and they will kill you.

Crawl Trailer

Crawl can is available for rent or purchase on your favorite video platform.

Synopsis

The movie follows Floridian Haley (Kaya Scodelario), a competitive swimmer that goes to check on her father before a category 5 hurricane hits. She discovers that her father Dave (Barry Pepper) is in the CRAWL space below his house with a broken leg from an alligator attack. She finds out quickly that there are not one, but two hyper-aggressive gators that will stop at nothing to kill them both. What proceeds is a game of gator and mouse where they try to escape the gators in a labyrinthian and increasingly flooded crawlspace.

My Review

This movie has a simple set up and delivers exactly what you would want out of it: ridiculous gator action.

Before coming to Dave’s crawlspace, these gators must have stopped by Tony Montana’s and consumed the mountain of coke on his desk. These gators are ridiculously aggressive.

The two main characters are constantly in danger, but are protected by the most powerful substance known to man… plot armor. So for an hour and a half, as we watch them try to outsmart the gators to accomplish the impossible task of… you know crawl a couple feet to the stairs, we are introduced to a steady stream of possible saviors who are immediately attacked and torn apart by ravenous gators.

I’ve said it before. I’m not a huge fan of monster movies. But I can appreciate the ones that are done well. This is one of those.

The situation is creative, the pacing of the plot is great. Even the tension is high throughout the movie because of the rising water. It really is a great device to move the plot forward. There is also a decent amount of character development between Haley and her father. 

If all that bores you and you are only coming for alligator attacks, you will not be disappointed. Everything from just plain gator bites to being completely drawn and quartered by a congregation of gators is covered.

Overall it’s a really well written and executed creature feature that maintains tension, has the proper amount of ridiculous action, and doesn’t overstay its welcome.

Score for Crawl

7/10

Crawl (2019)

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Spoilers

Underwater is in theaters right now and I did not expect much, which left me pleasantly surprised when I didn’t have a bad time. As far as underwater spooks and adventure go, Underwater is unique enough to hold my attention, but it doesn’t pull off anything amazing. 

Underwater Synopsis

Underwater stars Kristen Stewart as Norah, T.J. Miller as the unnamed goofball, and Vincent Cassel as the captain who looks just like my friend
Brent.

This is an
incredibly simple story that starts with Kristen Stewart describing life 
– underwater – in this massive – underwater – facility that is made to support a drilling operation at the
bottom of the Mariana Trench, which of course, is – underwater. 

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After a few
minutes the facility begins to implode, and our leading lady is forced to begin
her – underwater – quest to escape. 

Along the
way she runs into a few friends who have miraculously survived the facility
being torn to shred at this crushing depth. Once she meets up with the captain,
they hatch a plan to escape but soon find themselves in over their heads!

Underwater Review

Underwater is a by-the-books movie that reminded me of Sphere (1998) mixed with Aliens and The Abyss.

 T.J
Miller does exactly what you think he is going to do, and so does Kristen
Stewart. In fact, all of the characters do the things you think they are going
to do. Does that make it bad? No, just predictable.

I liked the
monster design in this, which is saying something because I rarely enjoy
monster design.

Score for Underwater

6/10

Spoilers for Underwater

Expand for Spoilers

There isn’t a whole lot to spoil in this movie. If you read my synopsis, you kind of get it. The monster(s) are really the x-factor and the interesting part of this movie, along with the journey to the bottom of the sea.

Kids Piloting Multi-Trillion Dollar Drilling Rigs

Ok, this is going to make me sound like a wet, old fart, but goddamnit I’m going to say it anyway. Twenty somethings are not who I would expect to be the focus of this movie. There’s a freaking intern for Christ-sake!

For another totally implausible underwater scenario, check out our review of The Meg

https://www.horrormovietalk.com/2018/08/24/the-meg/

Haggard men in their thirties and forties are the key demo here, both in real life and in movies of old based on similar situations. Call me sexist, but it’s true!

Here is a list of movies that show remote places and bad situations for what they are – stinky and men-ridden:

• The Thing
• Blood Diamond
• Alien
• Aliens
• Alien³

“But David, three of those movies have a female lead!” That’s the exception that proves the rule. Apart from Aliens, Sigourney Weaver is almost the only female in the whole damn movie, and she looks as stinky and gross as the men she hangs with.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this because to be honest, Underwater wouldn’t be nearly as attractive without Stewart at the helm. So maybe I’ll just swallow my vaguely sexist criticism and enjoy the kids piloting the world’s most expensive/dangerous drilling project.

The Monster(s)

We are introduced to the monsters early and often, but rarely do we get a solid look at them until the very end, which I appreciate.

We get to see fleeting quick glimpses of strange blurry hands and octo-faces darting around. Mostly we get to see the remains of others that the monsters leave behind.

Eventually, at the crescendo, we see a bevvy of the monsters hanging from – you guessed it – the bottom of the Roebuck drilling station that our surviving crew needs to enter. As the crew make their way through the forest of limp floating arms of the creatures, the awake.

They are hideous and effective, but obviously small compared to something else that we hear throughout the movie – the leviathan!

The leviathan is a truly massive monster, larger than most Kaiju I’ve seen. probably on par with Cthullu. The most interesting part about the leviathan is that the smaller humanoid creatures seem to live on it, and do it’s bidding.

I liked the monster(s), which is rare for me.

Final Recommendations

If you like monster movies, godzilla/kaiju, or Cthullu then Underwater is for you. It’s a action oriented monster movie that has a quippy T.J. Miller and a sexy Kristen Stewart – standard stuff.

It’s not great but I thoroughly expected to hate it and I didn’t. I would watch this again while drunk or high.

We went and saw The Grudge, and I feel like I’m taking crazy pills, because I liked it. That’s because it’s a dark and moody sequel/reboot of The Grudge.

Nicolas Pesce wrote and directed the film, and brings a more serious and weighty tone to the proceedings.

This is the first Grudge film to earn an R-rating, and it is warranted not only for the violence, but also for the mature subject matter.

See The Grudge can in theaters now

The Grudge 2020 Synopsis

This film is a soft reboot sequel of the American Grudge from 2004. It tells the story of a single mother Detective Muldoon (Andrea Riseborough) as she moves to a new police force and discovers a dead body in the woods.

Muldoon’s partner Detective Goodman (Demián Bichir) is disturbed when the body is connected with previous murder cases he investigated. As established in the previous Grudges and the opening credits, when someone is killed in a violent rage, a curse is formed around the place of death. Goodman mysteriously tries to dissuade Muldoon from investigating too deeply, and DEFINITELY NOT GO IN THE HOUSE. As you can guess, she goes in the house.

As Detective Muldoon investigates the current and previous murders, the film flashes back to tell the story of three families in different stages of life all being haunted, and hunted by the same curse.

Review of The Grudge (2020)

I haven’t seen any of the previous Grudge’s or the original Ju-On, so I was going in blind. However, the information I needed was provided in the opening credits:

1. Murder bad.
2. Make curse.
3. Curse Bad.

This technique I actually liked, but I admit it does lessen the mystery a bit. But since this is a sequel, all that information has already been established.

Dark Tone

The director Nicolas Pesce sets a measured pace and a moody tone for this movie, which for me, helped to build up the dread. There isn’t much mystery, or any real surprises in terms of the plot, but it does still feel compelling because of the inevitability of what you know is going to happen. It’s like watching a slow-mo train wreck. 

The first act takes it’s time to develop characters. Each family is introduced in turn with a unique situation that inspires empathy. Therefore it does feel like there are stakes. The most interesting of the bunch is probably the elderly Matheson family that is dealing with dementia and assisted suicide. 

R-Rated Horror

This is definitely a one trick pony though. Along the lines of The Conjuring movies, it’s more of a vehicle for jump scares. Some of the scares are effective, but they are generally pretty sparse until the end. With the R-rating, it is able to delve into some more graphic violence. This is a pretty “light R” since there are only a few moments that earn the rating, but they are effective and pack a punch.

When we left the theater, both David and I thought it was a good movie. Despite it’s slow pace and general predictability, it’s a well crafted movie with a distinctive tone and gravitas. We covered Nicolas Pesce’s last movie, Piercing a while ago and I think he has an really interesting style.

Negative Reactions on Twitter

Upon checking twitter, we are in the minority on this movie. People and critics apparently HATE this movie. It has worse scores on Rotten Tomatoes than CATS, which is ridiculous to me. I felt like I saw a completely different movie. I don’t know what people were expecting from it, but apparently they were VERY disappointed with the film. Most of the criticisms about it are that it is “boring” or that it didn’t feature the original girl ghost “Kayako” as much as they wanted. 

Score for The Grudge (2020)

6/10

The Grudge (2020)

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Final Recommendations

I stand by my original impressions upon leaving the theater. I think it’s worth a watch.

2019 treated us very well in terms of how our podcast is doing and in terms of great horror movies. I would even go so far as to say we were spoiled by 2019. So let’s take a look at what we love and hated about the horror movies that we reviewed in 2019.

Worst Horror Movies of 2019

The Prodigy

This was such a boring movie that I resent it for technically being decent enough to be called mediocre. This is a movie that holds the title of “mediocrity” high above it’s head and smiles.

From Miles, the boring antagonist child, to his boring parents that boring birthed him, this movie is one that I will not watch again.

Click here to watch The Prodigy on Amazon.

Greta

While not committing any mortal sins, Greta manages to be more forgettable than The Prodigy. This PG-13 thriller has a great trailer that leads one to believe that things will get real crazy, real fast.

All that ends up happening is kidnapping and some Boo-box play. Yawn.

Click here to watch Greta on Amazon.

The Curse of La Llorona

Looking back on this, we only gave it a 4/10 but this movie was (in my mind) a 2/10. The real curse was having to sit through an hour and a half long movie that could have been 22 minutes of witless bullshit.

This was a clear cash grab that the studio behind The Conjuring franchise, and hopefully not a sign of things to come.

Click here to watch The Curse of La Llorona on Amazon.

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

To be honest with you, SStTitD was not that bad. It was really my fault for getting my hopes up about a movie that is nodding at my childhood nostalgia and winking.

This is a fine movie to introduce young teens to the genre, but if you are looking for interesting concepts or a fun time, look elsewhere.

Click here to watch Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark on Amazon.

Best Horror Movies of 2019

The Dead Don’t Die

The Dead Don’t Die is lowkey one of the best movies of the year in terms of entertainment value, star power, script, and acting. Taking a totally fucked-out premise like zombies and making it fun and funny again is always impressive.

You can’t do better than this cast:

• Bill Murray
• Adam Driver
• Tom Waits
• Chloë Sevigny
• Steve Buscemi
• Danny Glover
• RZA
• Tilda Swinton
• Iggy Pop
• Selena Gomez
• Sturgill Simpson

Click here to watch The Dead Don’t Die on Amazon.

Midsommar

Think cults are spooky? What about being drugged? Bright colors? Yea, this movie mashes up some of the most unused tropes and ideas into a terrifically horrific masterpiece.

As director Ari Aster’s second hit horror movie, this is a ride and a half for the viewer. The whole movie resembles a drug trip in a very innocuous way, and the end crescendos into one of the most upsetting things I witnessed all year.

You must see this.

Click here to watch Midsommar on Amazon.

Ready or Not

Ready or Not came straight out of left field and clocked me. Everything about this movie was charming and fun.

This will go down as one of the great meta-horror/comedies of all time.

Our podcast review of Ready or Not makes me believe that scream queens are back.

Make sure to listen to our podcast review of Ready or Not to hear the Debut of our best game to date: Horror or Porno.

Click here to watch Ready or Not on Amazon.

Doctor Sleep

I can’t believe how much I enjoyed this adventure horror movie! I thought for sure that any movie trying to follow The Shining would fail miserably. How wrong I was!

Everything about this movie enthralled me. The story was fun, the characters were believable.

The baddies in this movie were so bad, so evil, it made me want nothing more than to see them suffer!

Click here to watch Doctor Sleep on Amazon.

Here’s to 2020!

Thank you for listening to the podcast and supporting the show! We couldn’t do it without you!