Bryce’s Review of The Bye Bye Man
Released on 04/01/2020
Magnus, one of our longest listeners has consistently asked us to review The Bye Bye Man. So this is his fault.
Because of social distancing measures and out of an abundance of caution, Me and David recorded our thoughts on The Bye Bye Man separately. Stay safe out there.


The Bye Bye Man Synopsis
The Bye Bye Man is about a Bye Bye Man. A reverse three’s company of two guys and a girl move into a house together and one of them discovers a dresser with disturbing scribbling on the inside that repeats the phrase “Don’t think it, don’t say it.” When he rips out the drawer liner, underneath is written the words “The Bye Bye Man”. Turns out he thinks it and says it. WACKY HIJINKS ENSUE.
Bryce’s Review
This movie is bad. We knew it would be bad going in, but ugh, it was rough anyway. The major flaw in this movie is that the writers were so enamoured with the concept of “Don’t think it, Don’t say it” that they forgot to include an actual plot in the movie. The film is actually based on a really badass sounding urban legend. The original story had a much more complex mythology for the Bye Bye Man: He was an albino born in New Orleans in 1912 who ran away as a child and became a derelict who lived in a train yard. After going blind he began murdering people and cutting out their eyes and tongues, which he sewed together and brought to life using voodoo. The resultant creature became the Bye Bye Man’s literal seeing-eye dog, helping him hunt his prey. Several elements from the story- notably the dog and the motif of trains– were retained for the movie, though their purpose is left undefined. So much so, that if you only watch the Bye Bye Man, your only knowledge of him will be that:
- He exists, and
- He’s bad.
Bryce’s Score for The Bye Bye Man
2/10
Watch The Bye Bye Man
The Bye Bye Man is streaming on Netflix, but is also available to rent or buy on Amazon.
The Taking of Deborah Logan Review
Released on 03/25/2020
We watched The Taking of Deborah Logan on Shudder because right now, this virus is threatening all of our old people. I have to say, while my initial first watch impressions of this movie were much better, this is still a solid horror movie about the compelling topic of old people gone crazy.

Help Your Local Theater Through the Shutdown!
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The Taking of Deborah Logan Synopsis
This is a
2014 film by director Adam Robitel who brought us Insidious:
The Last Key and Escape Room.
A film crew shows up to
Deborah Logan’s (Jill Larson) house where she and her daughter, Sarah Logan (Anne Ramsay) still live. The setting is very East Coast
rural, and there is only Harris (Ryan Cutrona), the groundskeeper who hangs around to help
Sarah and Deborah.
The film
crew is there to document Deborah’s descent into Alzheimers. The agreement is
that the crew gets to make Deborah the focus of their documentary, and they
will pay handsomely for that privilege. Sarah realizes that they need the money
if Deborah is going to continue living and maintaining this home, but Deborah
is private and would rather the crew not be there.
As the days
progress, disturbing signs of Deborah’s mental health quickly arise and give
way to questions about whether this is the signs of a degenerative aging
disease, or whether it’s something else.
There are
lots of signs of cult activity surrounding Deborah and her life of secrets as
the town’s original telephone switchboard operator, but how much of it is
nonsense, and how much is real.
In the end,
Sarah and the film crew end up with more Deborah than they bargained for.

The Taking of Deborah Logan Review
The Taking
of Deborah Logan is a bit
of an odd duckling on my second viewing. On my first viewing, I was so struck
by the pacing and shocking nature of the visuals that I overlooked some of the
film’s more problematic issues.
Don’t get
me wrong, this film can almost stand on it’s disturbing scenes and tension
built cleverly around a very real issue that many people have to face. But the
wires begin to show a bit on a second viewing when you aren’t dazzled by the
initial shocks in The Taking of
Deborah Logan.
I feel like
a lot of the camera work for the documentary is extraneous, but not in a good
way. Paranormal Activity 2 is a shining example of extraneous footage that
works to build tension, but Deborah had a hodgepodge of silly angles and shaky
cam footage that didn’t work in favor of the movie.
That said,
I really love this movie! The imagery, the cult aspect, the old person who
can’t be controlled – It’s great. The execution of the whole thing is pretty
darn good too. The pacing is really what makes this movie a must-see because
it’s so fast that there is never a chance to get bored.
Did I
mention the impressive and shocking imagery?
Score
8/10
Spoilers
This film is about Deborah’s descent into a weird kind of
cult possession. It starts out looking like Deb just has some severe form of Alzheimer’s,
but ends up looking like she is a snake possessed by Desjardin’s ghost. So…
pretty typical.


In seriousness, the real spoilers here are that Deborah was the
town switchboard operator for a long time. This required her to keep a lot of
secrets for a lot of people or risk losing their business.
One of the secrets that she was required to keep was of a
dying man named Henry Desjardins, who, in an effort to gain immortality began sacrificing
virgins on the date of their first menses. Again, pretty typical stuff.
Desjardins got 4 of the 5 virgins he needed to complete his pentagram
shaped ode to the serpent cult before he bit the big one. But it was Deborah
who made sure that Desjardins didn’t accomplish his goal. She stopped him the
only way she knew how; the old fashioned killing him method.
His 4 out of 5 virgins did get him a pretty potent ghost
form that allowed him to possess and severely mess up Deb in her later years.

In the end, Desjardins was driven from Deborah when they
burned his remains, freeing her from his serpent ghost grasp.
The imagery at the end of this movie is some of the best and
most shocking I’ve ever seen. It has stuck with me for years, and I love it for
this.
Final Recommendation
See this film if you enjoy found footage. See The Taking
of Deborah Logan if you enjoy hard horror.
Wrong Turn (2003) Review
Released on 03/18/2020
Wrong Turn is a blast from the past, but was it a blast to watch it? Eh. It is what it is. It’s a guilty pleasure horror movie that features psychotic inbred mountain men. If that sounds like your bag, give it a watch. Regardless, listen to our review, because we probably had more fun reviewing it than watching it.


Wrong Turn Synopsis
The synopsis is simple. A group of random people in their early twenties are attacked by inbred homicidal mountain men. Some of them have paint by numbers backstories and archetypes, really their purpose and motivation is to be fodder for a slasher. Everyone that you think will die dies, and everyone that you think will survive survives.
Review
Wrong Turn came out in 2003 and I genuinely forgot how long ago that was. Nokia phones, bare midriffs on women, and pooka shells on men. It was a simpler time. And this is a simple movie to match it. This is a good old fashioned, dumb slasher. The only unique twist on the generic formula is that the antagonists are a family of inbred homicidal hicks. Oh wait, that’s not unique, that’s a rip off of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Whatever, who cares, the people that want to watch slashers just want to see people getting chased and cut up. In that respect, this movie excels, because that’s basically all that happens. People get chased and cut up. Rinse and repeat.
Score for Wrong Turn
5/10
Spoilers
Expand for spoilers
There really isn’t much to spoil. This is a highly predictable slasher, and everyone that you expect to die, dies.
What next?
If you are in the mood for another slasher, you can’t do better than Sleepaway Camp.
The Exorcism of Emily Rose Review
Released on 03/11/2020
We rented
The Exorcism of Emily Rose on Amazon, and while Bryce couldn’t seem to
stay awake, I was reminded of one of my favorite possession movies ever made.
This was a Patreon pick of the month, and they voted on it, so we reviewed it.

Synopsis of
The Exorcism of Emily Rose
The
Exorcism of Emily Rose is directed by Scott Derrickson (Sinister) and is the
story of a court case where The People are prosecuting Father Moore (Tom Wilkinson) for the negligent homicide of
Emily Rose (Jennifer Carpenter). Good news for Father Moore,
Erin Bruner (Laura Linney) is on the case.
As we are
walked through the trial, we get glimpses into the hellish end of days that
made up Emily’s life. She was a deeply devout catholic girl in a deeply devout
catholic family, and that never seems to be a good combination in possession
movies.
The
defender of The People is Ethan Thomas (Campbell Scott), and he makes the claims that
Emily was epileptic and psychotic, which could have been treated medically.
Erin has to
come to terms with her own lack of faith to depict this priest in the light of
his intentions and the reality that the possession was real, and the exorcism
was vital to save Emily from the devil.
Review of The
Exorcism of Emily Rose

The
Exorcism of Emily Rose is an interesting and well-executed movie that
really floored me the first time I watched it several years after it’s 2005
release. I’ve seen it a handful of times since then, and it continues to be
compelling to watch.
The visuals
in this movie work best on the first go-around, so it didn’t have the same
disturbing impact on me this time as it did my first viewing.
I
appreciate the new twist on an old classic – being told from the perspective of
the homicide case made it much less of a movie about possession and much more
of a movie about faith and religion. The Defense attorney had her own brushes
with the demonic during her trial, which gave the movie stakes in the present.
This movie
respects the audience and shows a lot of restraint in favor of fewer terrifying
moments. The result is that these very disturbing scenes have a heavier impact.
I’m a
sucker for a well-made possession movie, and this is exactly that.
Score
8/10
Spoilers for The Exorcism of Emily Rose
This starts
with a great ambiance shot of a dreary farm-house in a mist-covered field. A medical
examiner shows up to find Emily deceased, surrounded by her family, and in
horrific condition. He can’t conclusively say that the cause of death is
natural, which makes a great allusion, not only to murder but to the
possibility of satanic possession.

The Religion/Science
Dichotomy
The Exorcism of Emily Rose asks the interesting question of, “What is possession, real or explained away with mental health diagnoses?” I love the way this movie tackles that question. First, from the side of the Prosecution (science), then from the side of the Defense (religion).
Many times we will see Emily acting possessed, and horrible
things will happen to her that appear to be because of the supernatural. For
example, she will be out in the field in the throws of possession, and stigmata will appear on her
hands. When viewed from the side of the Defense telling the account, it will
appear as it the mark on her hands show up without any outside influence. When
viewed from the side of the Prosecution, it shows that Emily grabs tightly onto
a barbwire fence, producing the wounds in the palm of each hand.

I enjoy the way this movie walks the line between religion
and science – never tainting the audience with a “true” fact one way or the
other.
The Exorcism
We only get to see bits and pieces of the actual exorcism of
Emily, but what we do see is harrowing. The actual (real-life) exorcism of
Emily Rose (a girl named Anneliese Michel) included
67 exorcism attempts.
One of the best parts of the movie is when we learn that
Emily has not one, but six demons residing in her. I really can’t explain this
and do it justice, so check out this clip:
The Verdict
As the trial draws to a close, we get to see the closing arguments
made by both sides. The Prosecution makes the case that this poor girl died a
horrible wasting death while in the care of Father Moore.
The Defense makes a great closing statement. If you scroll
up to the top of this page and listen to our podcast episode, you will hear her
whole closing statement at timestamp 1:02:54.
Final Recommendation
If you are in the mood for a possession movie, this is one of the best. It’s an interesting movie told from a unique perspective and it has aged quite well. The only other possession movie we have reviewed as of the release of this review is The Devil’s Doorway, and Emily Rose is a much better choice.
The Invisible Man (2020) Review
Released on 03/04/2020
The Invisible Man is the first horror movie of the year worth… seeing. Writer/director Leigh Whannel reframes the H.G. Wells source material in a thrilling and fresh adaptation. After two months of truly mediocre horror releases, The Invisible Man is a gasp of fresh air.


The Invisible Man can be…SEEN in theaters now.
Film Synopsis
The Invisible Man follows Cecilia, played by Elizabeth Moss, as she fearfully escapes her manipulative and violently abusive boyfriend Adrian, played by Oliver Jackson-Cohen. Soon after she leaves him, he commits suicide and leaves her a considerable amount of money in his will. Her deceased ex was one of the world’s foremost experts on optics and was very wealthy. Cecilia is still mentally scarred by their abusive ex, that she finds it hard to believe that he is actually dead. This seemingly unreasonable paranoia gets confirmed to her as she is haunted and by an unseen tormentor.
This Invisible Man ramps up the terror and violence to the point that everyone around Cecilia assumes that she is having a mental break. Even her closest friends and family don’t believe her, leaving her hopeless as she tries to defend herself. She struggles to prove that her ex is still alive and continuing his abuse while he actively tries to frame her for murder.
Review of The Invisible Man
I’ll tell you what. This movie is a breath of fresh air after a stagnant two months of new releases in the horror category. It’s is written and directed by Leigh Whannell who you might know as the writer/director of Upgrade, or as an actor in The Bye Bye Man. He shows himself to be very competent at writing and directing with this film.
The skill of Whannel is shown in the opening of The Invisible Man, which follows the motto of “show don’t tell”. So much is communicated about Cecilia and Adrian’s relationship just from her actions and facial expressions in the first 5 minutes of the film. The film also shows a lot of well tuned restraint by not focusing on the sci-fi elements like most other Invisible Man movies do.
It’s themes explore the topic of abuse in a really interesting and thought- provoking way. Abusive partners are often “invisible” to the world since that side of the abusers personality isn’t often shown to others. The historical abuse of Cecilia in this film feels real and tangible, even though it’s never shown in flashbacks. It’s communicated through the aftereffects and trauma that Cecilia displays.
This is a great example of a thriller that leans into the horror aspects of that label. There are genuinely surprising moments and many times that I jumped out of my seat.
This is a very very good movie, and you should definitely see it.
Score for The Invisible Man (2020)
9/10
Spoilers
Expand for spoilers section
Adrian
The Adrian character is pretty “invisible” to the audience throughout the whole movie. This isn’t just because he is physically invisible, but also because his motives are murky, and we are only given second-third hand information about him from the other characters.
We briefly get a glimpse of him when he attacks Cecilia in the car as she leaves, but we don’t get a good look at him until the very end of the movie.
It’s very effective. Once we do see him, the charmed veneer is completely undercut by what we have witnessed throughout the movie, allowing the audience to experience the distrust that Cecilia experiences first hand.
Cecilia’s disbelief
Cecilia when she is informed of Adrian’s death, it is is obvious that she is very suspicious. She is used to being ghostlit and manipulated.
Only until she sees the will and the urn with “Adrian’s ashes” does her countenance change to relief.
Once she starts experiencing unexplained sounds and occurrences, it seems like she immediately recognizes the presence, even without seeing Adrian.
Empty Shots
A lot of shots of this movie were of empty space, ala Paranormal activity. It was actually very effective. The premise of the movie tells us that something could be there at all times, and the audience is always looking for movement to betray Adrian’s presence.
James Lanier
The one stand out presence in this film was definitely Aldis Hodge playing James Lanier, the cop who is housing Cecilia.

He made us question our sexuality.
The Best Scene in The Invisible Man
The best scene by far is when Cecilia invites her sister to dinner to reconciliate, after Adrian sends a cruel email from her account. The scene feels like it is setting itself up as a turning point for Cecilia getting her only family member back on her side.
All of a sudden, a knife floats in the air, and then swiftly slits the sister’s throat. It is an instantly iconic scene that is genuinely shocking.
Adrian’s Brother
The mystery of the film is the question of how Adrian is invisible and really why he is still tormenting Cecilia. Eventually these questions are answered, and Adrian’s lawyer brother Tom is in the middle of it.
Tom is the lawyer that contacts Cecilia, and even though he is a little prickly, he confides that Adrian abused him all of his life, and that there was no love lost there.
It turns out that Tom didn’t really hate his brother, or at the very least was in cahoots with him. Adrian’s motives were to get Cecilia back and to have a child with her. Tom ends up being the messenger for Adrian.
The Invisibility was achieved with a suit equipped with thousands of cameras. Cecilia discovers that there are two of these suits and hides one.
Towards the end of the film, Tom is actually the one in the suit, and ends up getting killed.
Adrian is found tied up in his basement. This is an obvious ruse to frame Tom and get another chance at Cecilia.
The ending
Cecilia tries to get a confession out of Adrian, but he is too clever and knows what she is trying to do.
Cecilia excuses herself for a moment, and in full view of the surveillance camera, Adrian seemingly picks up a knife and slits his own throat. In reality, Cecilia has put on the extra invisibility suit and murdered him.
Cecilia then returns within view of the camera to “discover” Adrian bleeding out.
Brahms: The Boy II Review
Released on 02/26/2020
We saw Brahms: The Boy II in theaters and it was so bland and unfulfilling that I questioned whether or not I want to spend my free time reviewing movies of this caliber. As soon as I asked that question of myself, I realized that the answer is obviously – yes. I need to watch these boring hunks of junk to make sure you don’t have to.

Synopsis
The Boy II is a
stand-alone sequel to the somewhat more interesting movie, The Boyfrom 2016, which you can currently watch on Amazon
for $3.99.
It was directed by William Brent Bell, who has been directing
horror movies like The
Devil Inside, and the original The Boyfrom 2016.
This is the story of a
family of three, Liza (Katie Holmes), Sean (Owain Yeoman), and their son Jude (Christopher Convery) that escape to the
countryside to heal after a burglary gone wrong at their house in London.
Jude, the young son
stops talking following the attack, and when the family shows up at the guest
house on the Heelshire estate (where the original The Boy took place) he
finds a doll buried in the woods.
The doll and Jude share
a lot in common: not talking, staring blankly at whoever addresses them,
generally being boring, and desiring to kill whole families. Through a notepad
that Jude uses to communicate, we learn that the doll is named Brahms, and he
has a bunch of rules for the family to follow.
You would be surprised
how stringent these rules are, so they are broken often and the family is
thrown into an uproar each time.
Eventually, we find out
that Brahms is more doll than this family bargained for.

Review
Brahms: The Boy II is a sincerely boring movie that does everything technically
correct on paper. Casting, acting, pacing, direction – it’s all passable. The
end result is boring as sin, though. At least movies like Fantasy Island are so zany that they are
fun in an ironic way.
Brahms: The Boy II bored me to tears and I don’t believe that you should ever watch
it.
Score
3/10
Spoilers
Click to Expand for Brahms: The Boy II Spoilers
As I write this I am bored to tears at the prospect of
having to relive the minutiae of The Boy II, but here it goes.
Jude is Mute
The burglary/attack on Liza and Jude really did a number on
them, and Jude ends up going mute. Great, now we have to hear two nagging
parents dote on their child throughout this already tedious script.
Jude going mute is supposed to add to the spook factor of
the whole thing by making us relate to the parent’s further challenge of
reaching their troubled child. Instead, Jude having to write out his every
response adds padding to an already slim movie.
Jude not talking also helps to draw a closer parallel with
him and Brahms, the doll. By the end of the movie, Jude is dressing, doing his
hair, and wearing a mask that makes him look just like the doll

The Brahms Doll
MORE: Click
Here for our blog about some of the most deadly horror movie dolls
Brahms is truly one of the most uninspired and generic horror
movie dolls that I’ve ever seen. He has no hook, nothing that makes him interesting
at all.
What are Brahms origins? There was once a boy on the Heelshire
Estate that killed his family. His soul got into his doll.
That’s it.
The End
Brahms: The Boy II ends in the least satisfying way
it possibly could have – a history lesson. The groundskeeper tells the family
about the backstory of the doll and gives us a bit of a montage of the
destruction the boy doll caused.
The dad smacks the doll’s head and a weird creepy face is
revealed beneath his smooth veneer.
Then the cliffhanger at the very end, once the danger is gone, is that Jude still enjoys wearing doll-like masks and might still kill his family.
Neat.
Final Reommendation for Brahms: The Boy II
This isn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen but in terms of something that’s worthy of your time, it ain’t. Don’t support this; we want less of this.
Horror Movie News with Ben Warrington
- Spiral: From The Book of Saw – Darren Lynn Bousman takes the helm of the 9th installation of the Saw franchise. Written and starring Chris Rock, this movie has an expected release date of 15th May 2020 worldwide. Also starring Samuel L Jackson, so get ready Mother Buckets!
- Borderlands Movie – Hostel director Eli Roth is helming Gearbox’s long-in-the-works Borderlands movie. A film adaptation of the popular post-apocalyptic comedy shooter was first announced all the way back in 2015, with development being handled by movie studio Lionsgate.
- Orphan Prequel – William Brent Bell, the helmer of such horror films as The Boy, The Devil Inside and Wer, has come on board to direct Esther, the prequel to 2009 hit Orphan.
- A24’s Saint Maud– The debut film of writer/director Rose Glass, “Saint Maud” is the latest bold horror movie from A24, the studio that brought you Robert Eggers’ “The Witch,” and Ari Aster’s “Hereditary” and “Midsommar.” Opening March 27, 2020 in the U.S., the film premiered at the 2019 Toronto International Film Festival. Watch the first trailer for the film below.
- Shudder March Additions- “The Room” premieres on March 12; in this film about the dark power of wishes one couple discovers having everything they want is a dangerous proposition. March 19th brings Fangoria’s “Satanic Panic” to the service. The Chelsea Stardust directed film blends horror and comedy for a different take on the final girl fighting to survive. “Daniel Isn’t Real” finally makes it way to Shudder on March 26th. Patrick Schwarzenegger and Miles Robbins star in the story of a man whose imaginary friend poses a threat to his sanity as well as his life. Make sure you use that promo code to watch some simply amazing horror!
Trailers to look out for:
Saint Maud:
Spiral: From the book of Saw
The Invisible Man
Bens Recommended Underground Film Recommendation
Feedback (2019)
Fantasy Island Review
Released on 02/19/2020
We went and saw Blumhouse‘s Fantasy Island, and it was exactly as good as you would expect it to be. It’s a needless remake of the campy 70’s TV show of the same name. It’s entertaining, but nothing to write home about. One this episode of Horror Movie Talk we give our full review and breakdown of the film.

Blumhouse’s Fantasy Island can be found in theaters now
Blumhouse’s Fantasy Island Synopsis
In this film adaptation of the campy 70’s TV show, five guests played by hot supple young actors and Jimmy O. Yang arrive at an exclusive and secretive island resort run by the mysterious Mr. Rourke, played by Michael Pena. Each guest gets to experience one and ONLY one fantasy until it plays out to “it’s natural conclusion.” And get this… [SPOILER WARNING] the natural conclusion…is spooky-scary.
Review
My assessment of this movie upon leaving the theater was “This is a 10/10 for a 5/10 movie,” and I stand by that. This is not a great movie, but it does meet the table stakes of being entertaining. The premise is interesting enough, the dialogue isn’t completely awful, and the acting is actually pretty good. The fantasies each have their own unique flavor, and end up intermingling in interesting ways. The “12 inch pianist” genie level twists are different levels of tacked-on.
The most natural dark twist comes with the revenge fantasy from Lucy Hale’s hottie character Melanie. It makes sense that actually hurting other people that hurt you might not be as pleasurable as you would imagine.
Other fantasy twists range from weird but interesting to completely eye-rolling-ly artificial in premise.
The first 3/4s of the film go down a predictable and competent path to set up the premise, develop the characters, explain the fantasies, and show the dark side of each. The last fourth is a series of “surprises” and reveals that feel like the film version of a run-on sentence. Blumhouse’s Fantasy Island isn’t deep or earth shattering, but giving credit where credit is due, it is entertaining.
Score for Fantasy Island
5/10
Spoilers for Fantasy Island
Expand for spoilers
The characters and their fantasies
- JD and Brax are the super bro brothers played by Ryan Hansen and Jimmy O. Yang. Their Fantasy is to “have it all,” which equates a huge party with thirsty hotties of both sexes.
- Former mean girl victim and current THOT, Melanie is played by Lucy Hale. Her fantasy is to get revenge on her high school tormentor.
- Gwen, played by MAggie Q, wants a second chance at life by reliving a marriage proposal.
- Patrick, played by Austin Stowell, wants to play soldier and be a hero.
The “natural conclusions” of the fantasies
- JD and Brax’s party gets crashed by the drug lord that wants his house, money, and coke back.
- Torturing people isn’t as fun as it sounds.
- Oops, she chose the wrong regret.
- The dead dad ends up not having a heroic reaction to his impending death, but ends up still being a hero.
The actual ending
As the film speeds towards it’s conclusion, all the fantasies seem to be intermingling and closely related to each other.
Patrick’s soldier father is actually trying to rescue hostages that end up being JD and Brax.
After Gwen realizes the implications of her fantasy and demands that she get to relive out her actual regret. She tries to save her upstairs neighbor who was killed by a fire started in her kitchen.
It turns out that almost all of the Fantasy Island guests had some relation to the tragedy. JD and Brax were the fire victim’s room mates. Patrick was a cop on the scene that was too cowardly to go in and attempt to save anyone. Melanie was supposed to go on a date that night with the guy that got killed.
The big reveal of the movie is that all the guests are actually living out Melanie’s fantasy of getting revenge for he boyfriends murder.
There are actually a lot of twists and fakeouts in the last 10 minutes before it gets to that final reveal.
In the end, good conquers evil, and Jimmy O. Yang gets to be Tattoo forever.
Final Recommendation
This is not a great movie, but there really isn’t much wrong with it either. It would make a good date movie. High schoolers that aren’t super jaded about horror movies will likely really enjoy it as well.
Gretel & Hansel 2020 Movie Review
Released on 02/12/2020
(Hansel and Gretel Movie)
We saw Gretel & Hansel in theaters and I was pleasantly surprised with something that might not be the most groundbreaking film we’ve ever watched, but it succeeds admirably at breathing new life into this classic Grimm fairy tale.

@dgoebel00 on instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
Gretel & Hansel Trailer
Gretel & Hansel Synopsis
Gretel & Hansel is a reimagining and retelling of; you guessed it, Hansel and Gretel – the classic tale that warns kids not to take candy from strangers. Well, the kids are back and they have a sweet tooth.
Gretel & Hansel is the third film from director Oz Perkins, who also did a cult favorite, The Blackcoat’s Daughter.
This story retains all the crucial elements of the story. There are two kids (Sophia Lillis from IT as Gretel and Samuel Leakey as Hansel) who are unceremoniously kicked out of their house in the times of yore by their mother who can’t afford to feed them.
They kick
around the woods for a while, starving and scared, jostled by a world that is
cruel and spooky before stumbling upon a house out in the woods.
This house
is owned by Barbara Crampton’s final form, Holda the witch (Alice Krige). The witch lures the kids in with delectable food, but she seems,
kind of evil.
Well, she
is evil.
Gretel & Hansel Review
To me, it is surprising that Gretel and Hansel got as wide a release as it did because it has “current indy horror movie” written all over it. Also January, February, and March of 2020 is about as chalk full of horror as any year that I can recall.

Gretel and Hansel takes a slightly different approach to the classic and makes it a coming of age story for our female protagonist.
This movie drips with aesthetic and I swear to God the witches’ house is made by the same architect as the house from Ex Machina. Very sparse, norse sensibilities are present in the scenes, which, if you are a fan of our show, you know we love the Scandinavians and their sensibilities.
The
brooding, doom-laden feel of this movie is a great way to take something as
classic as Hansel and Gretel and make me care. Every corner of this film is
foreboding and off-feeling.
The lighting is so dark that it reminded me of the Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln flick from 2012. Lots of candles used for lighting made me feel like I was right there with the kids in this strange and terrifying house.
I love the acting and the style that Gretel & Hansel goes with and the atmosphere is dead-on.
My only
problem with this movie is that it droops throughout. As far as slow-burns go,
this is as slow as they come, and while it works to an extent, I wish they
would have stopped chewing the fat and cut some of the more indulgent walks in
the woods and dream sequences in favor of keeping my attention.
At 87 minutes, it’s a pretty short movie, but I feel it could have easily been 70 minutes, and it would have felt very appropriate.
Score
7/10
Spoilers
Click to Expand Spoilers
Backstory on the witch
The movie starts
describing the origin of the witch. There is a gifted child, and an illness
befalls her. The father of the child is told to be brave against the darkness
and takes the girl to be healed. The child is gifted with something called
“second sight”. She is healed, but the gift of healing comes with an unseen
curse.
This little girl, the
witch, is evil. She kills her dad and others in the village before she is taken
out into the woods and banished.
Here we are given the
tagline of the movie, “Beware gifts because those that offer them might mess
you up hardcore.”
The World is a Cruel,
Scary Place
The kid’s mom is not a
nice lady. Actually, she is legit nuts. She aggressively pushes her kids out of
the house and into a world that wants nothing more than to gobble them up.
There are close calls,
zombies, and a bunch of menacing figures in the background who are swallowed up
by the thick, milky mist.The atmosphere is bleak and terrifying, and it works
really well.
The Witches House and
Possible Anti-Semitism
Eventually, the kids stumble
across the witch’s house, and just like everything else in this movie, it’s
dripping with aesthetic.
The door of the house is
made up of a Star of David pattern, which really flipped a switch in my brain.
An evil person who steals and eats children has the Star of David patterned
across her door?

The house is sparse and
dark, lit only by candles – it’s also hard to tell exactly how large it is. In
the secret room that is hidden below the house, there is also a candelabra or bastardized
Menorah that makes an appearance.
This feels noteworthy to
me because I know that the Brothers Grimm who
wrote Hansel and Gretel had some very anti-semitic fairy tales, like The Jew Among The
Thorns.
How is Gretel &
Hansel Different than Hansel and Gretel?
Gretel & Hansel is a coming of age story for Gretel, instead of an outright warning
against accepting gifts. The gift being given in this movie is the gift of
womanhood or femininity.

The witch is out to trap
Gretel in her web of femininity by appealing to her with power and knowledge.
She eats kids, not only to gain powers and stay super witchy but to build a
tolerance to the thing that is a poison to her – children or motherhood.
She offers Gretel the
knowledge and powers that she has but warns her that she too must eat her
poison to gain resistance to her own poison. Gretel’s poison is the onus of
taking care of her brother, so it’s time to eat Hansel.
The Ending
Gretel burns the witch and Hansel makes it out alive – SHOCKER.
Final Recommendations
If you enjoy foreboding, spooky aesthetics and great camera work this is a great choice. It’s an even better choice if you don’t mind a story that moves very slowly.
Color Out of Space Review & Tara Westwood Interview
Released on 02/05/2020
We have a packed episode this week. We review the surprisingly good Color Out Of Space, interview the lovely Tara Westwood from The Grudge (2020), and play a new game called “fNICt or fCAGEtion”. Hold on to your alpacas, and listen to the latest Horror Movie Talk!

We went and saw a screening of Color Out of Space, and turns out the color out of space… was purple

Color Out of Space Synopsis
Color Out of Space is a documentary of a normal Tuesday for Nicolas Cage. Sorry, that’s wrong, it’s actually based off of an H.P. Lovecraft short story of the same name. The film tells the story of the Gardner family living on a remote homestead inherited by the patriarch Nathan, played by the old god, Nicolas Cage. The rest of the Gardeners are the mother Theresa (Joely Richardson), daughter Lavinia (Madeleine Arthur), and two sons Benny (Brendan Meyer) and Jack (Julian Hilliard).
One night a meteor from SPACE came crashing down into their front yard, and infects the space time continuum with a color that has never been seen before, but is somehow nefarious.

Review of Color Out Of Space
You might be asking yourself… how do you film a story that revolves around the concept of a color that hasn’t been seen before? That’s a good question. I don’t have an answer, but I can tell you that Richard Stanley has somehow pulled it off.
This is probably one of the best depictions of cosmic horror that I have ever seen on film. Not that I have seen many, but this one is actually a really impressive adaptation of HP Lovecraft. It falls in that genre of “Weird Tale” that most recently represented in theaters by The Lighthouse.
There are direct quotations from the source material, and the tone is very Lovecraftian, save for two aspects.
- It’s set in modern times
- It’s not told via a third person recounting of a third person recounting of another third person account.
The parts that are very Lovecraftian are the madness, corruption, ineffective magical rituals, and the scientist that exists only to state that something is beyond science.
The corruption of the land and people happens very gradually, but builds up to a crescendo of sensory overload that is really impressive. It’s a very visually impressive movie and definitely one that you might want to go to high as balls.
Score
9/10
Interview of Tara Westwood
We had the special honor of interviewing the lovely and talented Tara Westwood. Horror movie fans will know her from her most recent role in The Grudge which is still in theaters around the world, as well as some other horror movies you might have stumbled across on Amazon Prime such as Hell Girl or A Haunting at Silver Falls.
Follow Tara on Instagram, Twitter to stay apprised of her new projects.




fNICt or fCAGEtion
In our newest game, I read a series of Nic Cage “facts” to David, and he had to guess if they were fNICt (fact) or fCAGEtion (fiction). Here is the list of insane Nic Cage facts. See if you can spot the fake ones. Answer key to follow.
- He was born Nicolas Coppola and he decided to change his last name after actors resented him because his uncle is the renowned director Francis Ford Coppola.
- He chose “Cage,” as his last name because he was inspired by the African-American comic book superhero Luke Cage.
- When he was four, he would have this recurring dream in which “I was on the toilet and this giant blonde genie woman in a gold bikini would reach into the bathroom window like King Kong and pluck me off of the toilet seat and laugh at me.”
- He once had a pet octopus
- He bought a stolen T-Rex Skull
- He owns an egyptian mummy
- He once slept in the ruins of Dracula’s Castle
- In Birdy (1984), he played a ladies man who was severely wounded in Vietnam, and during production, he decided to get his teeth pulled so that he could “connect with some kind of physical pain.”
- Jim Carrey offered him a role in Dumb and Dumber, but that he turned it down for a part as an alcoholic in Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
- He named one of his sons Kal-el, after Superman’s “Kryptonian name.
- He named one of his daughter’s Zod, after Superman’s Kryptonian nemesis
- He sometimes wears two pairs of sunglasses
- His favorite sandwich is roast lamb on white bread with “a bit of mayonnaise and arugula,”
- He got a “large” back tattoo of a lizard in a top hat and cane
- During shooting Ghost Rider, on scenes where he transformed into Ghost Rider, he would act with a railroad spike up his rectum.
- HE has already bought a nine foot tall stone pyramid to be buried in.
- He refuses to eat any living thing that has sex in a way he doesn’t find attractive.
- He has a penile bisection, a body modification procedure where the glans is split down the middle.
- He had a stalker that was a mime that would pantomime a number of weird actions during the shooting of Raising Arizona
- He bought the most haunted mansion in the world so he could write a horror novel.
Expand for answer key
- fNICt
- fNICt
- fNICt
- fNICt
- fNICt
- fCAGEtion
- fNICt
- fNICt
- fNICt
- fNICt
- fCAGEtion
- fNICt
- fNICt
- fNICt
- fCAGEtion
- fNICt
- fNICt
- fCAGEtion
- fNICt
- fNICt
The Turning (2020) Review
Released on 01/29/2020
We saw The Turning in theaters and it’s got a ton of jumpscares and some great acting, but it is hamstrung by a script that never had a clue where it was going despite having a very clear and high-quality roadmap of the story that it was based upon – The Turn of the Screw.

@dgoebel00 on instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
The Turning Trailer
The Turning Synopsis
While I
have never read the 1898 novella, The Turn of the Screw, by Henry James, I have
a feeling that it would not lend itself to the silver screen without a fair
amount of changes to the original story to make it more appealing for audiences
today. After having read some briefs and synopses of the novella, this movie
mimics it almost point for point.
We have a young teacher,
Kate (Mackenzie Davis), who is hired on a palatial estate to teach and
govern a young child, Flora (Brooklynn Prince). There is one other inhabitant on the grounds,
Mrs. Grose, who is the cook and maid.
After a
short time, Flora’s teenage brother, Miles (Finn Wolfhard) appears following being expelled from school. He
is quickly set up to be the antagonist of the story, seemingly very crude,
lude, and rapey.
The story
of Kate then unravels itself in shockingly slow, slow motion that is fraught
with the most exhausting bevy of jumpscares and twisty-turny bologna that I can
recall.
The ghost
of the previous teacher is hanging around, and the ghost of her killer, Miles
friend, Quint, is too.
The Turning Review
I would be
lying if I told you I understood what exactly there was to be scared of in this
movie. I believe The Turn of the Screw was originally a very well written
spooky ghost story. This movie is not adapted well to the big screen, probably
because it didn’t expand much on the original novella.

The acting
was actually pretty good, especially from both child actors, and the setting
was pretty effective as well. The script was the real issue here, as there is
just nothing around for it to hang its hat on and make it memorable or
interesting.
A better version of
roughly this same story, is found in 2018’s The Little Stranger. The Little Stranger
understood ambiguity and how to use it. Is the main character losing his mind
or is this place haunted? I think ambiguity is what the source material is
about, and it’s replaced in The Turning by confusion.
Score
4/10
Spoilers
Click to Expand for Spoilers
Kate is called to act as the new governess for the children,
who are recently orphaned. More to the point, she is supposed to watch Flora
and later Miles shows up because it is revealed that he is expelled from his
school for shocking violence.
Wait… You know it might just be easier if you read the
actual plot of The Turn of the Screw novella from this Wikipedia
article. Yes, this movie occurs in almost exactly the same timeline as that
section of the wiki. Seem uninspired? Yeah, it kind of is.

The Jumpscares
There are lots of jumpscares in this movie, some good, some
not so good. But there are tons! There are so many jumpscares that I started to
become shellshocked, or at least exhausted by them.
Every day in the story contains light frivolity and a pang
of weirdness, and every night contains a healthy dose of jumpscares and dark
hallways.
The House
This house is seriously huge and suffers from a major case
of spooky house syndrome (SHS). It’s got lights that turn on and off for no
reason, sewing machines the pop to life, and dozens of mannequins ready to
terrify as Kate backs into them, one after another.
While the house is plenty spooky, it’s not utilized in the
way that it could have been. There is an eerie line delivered at the start of
the movie by one of the children about the East wing. “We don’t go there.” The ‘why’
to that could have been explored and expanded upon to such a degree that the
movie would be substantive.
The Lack of Ambiguity
The thing that made the original story work, from what I
have read, is ambiguity. There is supposed to be a question of whether or not
this house is haunted or whether Kate is losing her mind. Is young Miles
actually a terror who wants to have sex with his governess or is he being
controlled by the spirit of Quint?
None of this ambiguity makes it to the audience in The
Turning. Instead, it’s a mishmash of confusing maybe-it-happened
maybe-it-didn’t dream sequences and nightmares.
The End
Holy hell. First, we get a false ending. Kate drives the
kids off of the property under extreme duress and escapes. But then she wakes
up and is scolded for being crazy by the children and the maid.

There is a half-baked attempt to suggest that Kate is exactly
as her mother is – totally insane, then the movie ends.
There is no follow-through, no explanation – it just ends.
Final Recommendations
Kids and teens might be in over their heads in terms of scares with The Turning, but I think the PG-13 rating makes it for them more than anyone else. If you have a well-refined bullshit-o-meter, stay away.
Horror Movie News
The Onania Club trailer from writer, director Tom Six gives a glimpse into one of the most fucked up ideas I can imagine.
Horror Movie Talk Ratings
Overall
Overall rating of the media
Atmosphere
How immersive and tense is the atmosphere
Story
Quality of the storyline and plot
Production Quality
Overall production value
Sound Design
Audio quality and sound effects
Entertainment Value
How entertaining is it
Educational Value
Learning and informational value