Horror Movie Talk

We watched House of Wax starring Elisha Cuthbert, Paris Hilton, and Robert Ri’chard (from Cousin Skeeter) and were treated to a fairly decent bit of gore porn. This was a patreon pick, so if you ever get the idea to recommend we review a movie, head over to our patreon and see all the goodies we offer to our most loyal of fans! We had Max from Screaming Cinema Podcast on this episode!

Synopsis

House of Wax is based on a pretty simple premise and is a loose remake of the 1953 film of the same name.

A group of fun-loving but angsty teens find themselves stranded in the woods near a strange, small community which seems to center itself around a wax museum.

As the teens split up and try to find help in this sleepy community everyone seems to realize that the inhabitants aren’t as lively as they once thought

In the end, everyone gets more wax than they bargained for.

Review

House of Wax is directed by Jaume Collet-Serra who also directed Orphan, The Shallows, and is in the middle of directing the upcoming Black Adam movie starring  Dwayne Johnson. 

House of Wax was his directorial debut and is pretty good, all things considered. This effort is clearly inspired by early 2000’s exploitation gore/slashers like Saw and Wrong Turn.

Throwing Paris Hilton into the mix gave this movie a huge amount of momentum at the time because just like candle wax – “that’s hot”.

Unfortunately, House of Wax has a seemingly unlimited supply of rope to hang itself with. There is a tremendous amount of extraneous details that force us to wade through this 113 minute slog with no real rhyme or reason behind their inclusion.

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Backstory and character development that doesn’t seem to matter. Character inclusion that is wholly unnecessary. Even chase sequences that are out of nowhere.

If the movie were a bit tighter I would be impressed with it, especially after considering the ending payout, which is impressive to say the least. 

Ultimately, House of Wax was a decently fun movie that shot itself in the foot with the inclusion of a ton of extraneous content. Even so, the ending makes it worth the wait.

Score

6/10

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We had a TON of fun reviewing one of the most meta horror movies ever made, Cabin in the Woods, by director Drew Goddard! This was a total blast.

If you would like to hear the full review, it will only be available on our Patreon at the “We all Spoop for Ice Spoop” tier. All proceeds go to making the show better and growing into a podcast that can support our families, so do consider this as us begging!

The Conjuring The Devil Made Me Do It, or as I call it “TCTDMMDI” is the 8th movie in the Conjuring Cinematic Universe, or as I call it “The CCU”, and the second direct sequel to the original The Conjuring, and the 5th film in the series since anyone gave a fuck.

Synopsis

In this entry, Ed and Lorraine Warren are performing an exorcism on the young David Glatzel boy (Julian Hilliard), when oops, the demon is transferred over to Arne Cheyenne Johnson (Ruairi O’Connor) after he invites the demon to possess him instead. Everyone goes about their business like that didn’t just happen, and then Arne commits homicide, because, you guessed it, the devil made him do it.

The Warrens rush to investigate the evil origins of the possession to convince the rubes on the jury in time to save Arne from the death penalty.

Review of The Conjuring 3

I’m a little torn on how to review this one. It’s right in line with the other Conjuring Movies, none of which are bad (in the main storyline), but none are particularly great to me. I was relieved to see that it wasn’t all based within one spooky-ookie house, so that was nice. 

One of the things that gets annoying after a while is the repetitiveness of the setup of Lorraine being psychic and Ed being worried. 

The story is interesting enough. There is enough mystery and revelations over time that kept me engaged. 

The special effects and scares were a little lackluster. You’ve seen most of it before. Demon possessed children, evil rickety contortion, rotted corpse ghosts, etc. The new element that was the most interesting, that I wished they explored more of was the Satanic element, specifically playing into the 80’s era satanic panic. It’s a really interesting topic that would have been more interesting if they committed completely to it, rather than just using it as a story device.

Surprisingly, the whole premise of legally defending Arne on the basis demonic possession, is barely touched on. If you are expecting a courtroom drama, you will be disappointed.

That all being said, the movie as a whole is of a high enough quality to be grouped in with the first two Conjuring movies, which is a welcome relief after The Curse of La Llarona. 

Score

7/10

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Where The Conjuring 3 Disappoints

It really is unfortunate that they didn’t pick a lane and either focus on the court case of Arne, or focus on the Satanic Panic elements. While I appreciate that they finally left the haunted houses behind, It would have been nice to see a stronger departure from The Conjuring formula.

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We went and saw A Quiet Place Part 2 and it was quiet and then VERY loud, and then quiet again. Always loud after quiet.

Synopsis

A Quiet Place Part 2 picks the story up from exactly where we left off on A Quiet Place (2018) and progresses the story of the Abbott family who have just lost their father, Lee (John Krasinski).

The surviving members of the Abbott family consists of Mother Evelyn (Emily Blunt), deaf daughter (Millicent Simmonds), brother Marcus (Noah Jupe), and their little baby have to travel the landscape to find someplace safe to live. 

Along the way, they meet their neighbor Emmett (Cillian Murphy) who has recently lost his whole family to the hoards of angry alien librarians.

As our rag-tag band of plucky survivors make their way through the apocalyptic landscape, everyone gets more quiet places than they bargained for.

Review

The first Quiet Place is a hard act to follow just about any way you cut it. Director, writer, star, and Pam-Pam enthusiast John Krasinski nailed it with the original movie in every way that counts.

This second installment does an admirable job of trying to follow in very quiet footsteps of the first, but like so many sophomore attempts, doesn’t catch the magic that the first had. 

Magic or not, A Quiet Place Part 2 is a stellar monster movie thriller with a ton of action and a tight run time of 97 minutes. I was not bored during the movie, and it provided wonderful argument fodder for after the show. 

I can honestly say that I will remember many of the incredibly loud and offensive jumpscares until the day I die. 

This is really a movie to see in the grandiosity of a theater not only for the dynamic range of the audio, but because hearing a totally silent theater with many viewers in it is something of a spectacle in and of itself.

A Quiet Place Part 2 gave me my money’s worth and then some, and left me wondering how many installments they will be able to squeeze out of this audio-based entertainment. 

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Score

7/10

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We watched Train to Busan, and it was a bullet train to fun!

Train to Busan Trailer

Train to Busan can be found on Shudder as well as on Tubi and Crackle with ads.

Synopsis

This synopsis is very easy. While a father takes his and daughter to her mothers house in Busan, a widespread zombie outbreak spills onto their bullet train. Wacky hijinx ensue.

More detail?

I have a sense there is a reader that wants more detail.

The action starts with a reported leak in a biotech building starts spreading a zombie disease that makes zombies. The cynical workaholic protagonist is taking his daughter to Busan on the bullet train when chaos breaks out in the station. There is much confusion, but over time, it’s revealed that some of the infected have made their way onto the Train to Busan.

The super aggressive contortionist zombies start taking over the train until only a few small bands of survivors remain.

Like most zombie movies, there are many archetypal characters and dramatic relationships that explore all the implications of a zombie outbreak.

Good enough? Ok, let’s move on.

Review of Train to Busan

I’m pretty jaded on zombie films. The variation of content in zombie movies only barely beats out the variation in content found in slashers. It’s a very simple premise. You set some simple human story with the backdrop of the zombie apocalypse. Rinse, repeat.

In rare occasions, there are uniquely new interpretations of this genre. This would be one of them. This one takes the runner zombies from 28 days later, and puts them on a train. Honestly in describing it, it sounds much less impressive. But nevertheless, this zombie film feels fresh and brings a new perspective to the same old story.

This film really excels at pacing. It’s not long, but zombie movies often feel like an eternity to me. This one kept me engaged throughout.

Since Night of the Living Dead, social commentary has been built into pretty much every zombie movie, and this one is no exception. However, it keeps it simple. Should you help people or not. You’ll have to watch the movie to find out which.

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Score

9/10

Exciting Filler

Did you know that there is a sequel to Train to Busan? No you didn’t. It’s called Peninsula. I don’t know anything about it, but thought I would mention it for SEO purposes. Leave a comment below to let us know if it’s worth watching.

Ma Dong-seok, who played the inimitable Sang-hwa in Train to Busan is starring in they upcoming MCU film The Eternals. It’s very exciting. I’m very excited. Let’s look into Ma Dong-seok’s career in film.

He is most well know for Train to Busan to American audiences, he also starred in The Neighbors , directed by none other than Hwi Kim. Isn’t that interesting?

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We watched Spiral in theaters, and if you aren’t familiar, this is the latest chapter in the book of Saw movies and this is exactly what you think it might be after having learned that it’s a Saw movie.

Synopsis

Spiral is a Saw movie from the perspective of the detectives on the case of the Jigsaw Killer. Chris Rock plays our classic burn-out detective Zeke Banks, who is constantly looking over his shoulder in the police force for having turned in a crooked cop over a decade ago.

Max Minghella plays William Schenk, the rookie Dick that gets paired with Zeke to tackle the case of what appears to be a copycat Jigsaw Killer, because at this point in the timeline the original Jigsaw (John Kramer) is dead.

The police force seems to have a problem with accountability at best and backstabbing murder at worst, and Zeke doesn’t like it. Zeke’s dad, Marcus (Samuel L. Jackson) is the, now retired police captain who used to manage this department. 

This new Jigsaw killer seems to be trying to clean up the force by making ultimatums of crooked cops and detectives, forcing them into twisted games that make them choose between their body parts and life.

In the end everyone gets more pig than they bargained for.

Review

I’m not a big fan of the Saw franchise, but I don’t hate it either, it just doesn’t hold a place in my heart. While Spiral tries to give us a new take on the perspective from which a normal Saw movie is shot, it delivers a very on-brand Saw movie nonetheless. 

There are four or five creative gore-porn situations that our characters find themselves in, and an edgy take on what it means to be the good guy or the bad guy in real life.

Casting

The casting is pretty impressive for a Saw movie, with Rock and Jackson stealing the show as themselves, but I don’t feel like they were utilized as well as they could have been. 

Rock had some great moments in Spiral, but they were few and far between. I wish we could have seen more clever takes from one of the most quick witted and interesting comedians of our time, but that didn’t end up happening.

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Storyline and Direction

The story in Spiral was solid and not overly convoluted. I do feel like the places where I’m not as happy with this movie as I could have been are the directors fault. Darren Lynn Bousman who directed Saw II, Saw III, and Saw IV, chose some shots and deliveries on the editing room floor that I am certain could have been better. 

Overall Spiral is a pretty good installment in the franchise, I’m just not the target audience, but I would say that if you hear “Saw” and get excited, this might be your favorite movie of the year.

Score

6/10

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One of the best and most influential family-based haunted house movies. Poltergeist still holds up in terms of story and special effects.

Poltergeist Trailer

Poltergeist can be found places

Synopsis

From the director that brought you cannibalistic families in Texas, Tobe Hooper’s Poltergeist is the story of the Freeling family being tormented by an unseen force in their totally not built over a cemetery house. Just kidding, it’s obviously Spielberg’s film. The Freelings are an aggressively all american family comprised of the father Steve (Craig T. Nelson), mother Dianne (JoBeth Williams), almost non-existent teenage girl Dana (Dominique Dunne), young boy Robbie (Oliver Robins), and the littlest, and most angelic little girl, Carol Anne (Heather O’Rourke). Carol Anne starts talking to the TV, and not the wholesome Blues Clues kind of talking, more of the talking to whispers in the static kind of talking. 

Weird occurrences start happening, at first to the delight, and then to the horror of that family when it ramps up and the house steals Carol Anne into the netherworld. 

A Haggard Steven Freeling recruits paranormal investigators and the worlds tiniest psychic to get Carol Anne back and Exorcise the demons from their house.

Review of Poltergeist

I am unapologetic in my love for this movie. It really is a template for family-based haunted house horror. It really has something for everyone. It’s accessible enough to general audiences that don’t want to see gore, or be constantly scared out of their gourd, but it has enough scares and good special effects to satisfy most horror fanatics.

On the scale of Ghostbusters to Exorcist, Poltergeist definitely leans more towards Ghostbusters, but it matches the quality of both in my opinion. This is another example of Spielberg being a master storyteller. There is very little fluff in this finely paced film, but there are a constant stream of little vignettes that add character, humor, or realism to the story.

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Score

10/10

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We watched The Bad Seed (1956) and it was a lot slower than I remembered it being but knowing it was a stage play first, it kind of makes sense.

Synopsis

The Bad Seed can be found for rent on Amazon, or anywhere you rent movies online.

The Bad Seed is a story about a little girl, Rhoda Penmark (Patty McCormack) who may have been born bad, with no conscience, empathy, or soul. 

Rhoda’s mom, Christine (Nancy Kelly) learns of a death at her daughter’s school picnic. The Daigle boy, who died, just happens to have been the same young man that beat little Rhoda at the penmanship competition.

Rhoda seems unconcerned and even a bit peckish following the death of her classmate. 

As the story unravels we learn about more and more mysterious deaths that seem to have occurred in Rhoda’s presence, and everyone gets more evil child than they bargained for.

Review

The Bad Seed was directed by Mervyn LeRoy and adapted from Maxwell Anderson’s play, which was adapted from William March’s book, all of the same name. 

As a result, it feels a bit like a stageplay, which by today’s standards means that it feels a little fluffy in areas.

At the core of the movie is a mystery of how Rhoda got to be this way, was she born evil, or did Christine and her husband raise her wrong? The movie preys on a parents innate fear of being unable to bring their child back from completely unacceptable behavior.

The way The Bad Seed handles tension works quite well, even by today’s standards. The conversations about Rhoda and what is to be done with her continue to escalate the feeling of unease.

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This is a character driven movie, and all of the actors chewed up the set in their respective roles. From precocious Rhoda, to suspicious Leroy, and even Rhoda’s teacher, the characters and dialog are what make this movie very similar to a play.

The Bad Seed is incredibly slow by today’s standards, and a lot of the dialog winds its way in and out of being useful or progression the story.

One thing that everyone will agree on is Patty McCormack steals this show and sets the standard for one of the biggest tropes in horror movie history – the evil child.

Score

8/10

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This is simply an introduction to the Horror Movie Talk podcast.

No, not the woods, nothing good ever happens in the woods..

In The Earth can be found in theaters now for probably one more week.

Synopsis

Martin Lowry, played by Joel Fry, leaves behind COVID quarantine to help with important scientific work in the woods. He will be working with his Ex, and she is studying forest rave science or something. Martin is led through the woods by Alma, played by Ellora Torchia, who is a capable young woman that side-eyes Martin’s lack of hiking skills.

Things don’t go well.

Review of In The Earth

This movie had two speeds. Slow and measured, and Intense skull fucking. It has a lot going for it, Great acting performances, a unique story, and crazy hobos. I went in with no expectations, and was pleasantly surprised by an engaging, and entertaining Lovecraftian story.

It’s an interesting mix of Midsommar, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and intense foot trauma.

Score

7/10

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