Horror Movie Talk

The original Annabelle, while not an audience favorite, is one of my favorites in The Conjuring franchise because it is bare bones scary. It takes the scary doll concept, and does something kind of new with it.

Synopsis

Annabelle follows a new family of Mia (Annabelle Wallis) who is a pregnant homemaker in the 60’s, and John (Ward Horton) who is a new doctor at a hospital. John gets the Annabelle doll for Mia, who is a doll collector as a present, and very soon the couple find themselves with more doll than they bargained for!

The Annabelle doll seems to attract bad luck at best and demons and killers at worst. As the family finds themselves constantly the target of misfortune and terror they begin to realize that the doll is at the center of the horrors being inflicted on them. 

The family reaches out for help to the local priest, who is surprisingly well versed in dealing with “demons and shit”, and he tells them that the doll basically is a lieutenant of hell and wants to grab their newborn’s soul for satan.

Review

I don’t get the hate for this movie, I think it’s one of the strongest in The Conjuring franchise, and does a great job with disturbing themes and spooky jumpscares. Annabelle does an admirable job of keeping tension high and the scares are legit. The two real issues I take with this film are the rather lackluster ending and the total lack of levity or humor. 

If you are looking for a good, formulaic horror movie, Annabelle fits that bill nicely.

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Score

7/10

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We had a TON of fun reviewing one of the most insane horror movies ever made, Dead Alive (Braindead), by director Peter Jackson! This was a total blast.

If you would like to hear the full review, it will only be available on our Patreon at the “We all Spoop for Ice Spoop” tier. All proceeds go to making the show better and growing into a podcast that can support our families, so do consider this as us begging!

Mary is scary. Not the virgin Mary, I’m talking about a different switcheroo Mary. This film ends up being an interesting idea poorly executed.

The Unholy is in theaters now.

Synopsis

A disgraced journalist Gerry, played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, is sent out to a small town to investigate cattle mutilations. When he finds out the story is a fraud, he scrambles to salvage it by creating his own false narrative. While there, he inadvertently stumbles into the story of a lifetime when a deaf and dumb girl named Alice, played by Cricket Brown, is visited by Mary and is now able to hear and talk for her. As the story spreads thousands flock to witness the miracles that Mary continues to perform. When bad things start happening, Gerry starts to wonder whether it’s the virgin Mary or some other more nefarious Mary that fucks.

Review of The Unholy

This one is a hard one to review for me. There are a lot of things that I like about it. I love the religious theme of good being deceived by Evil. The bones are really great in this story, however, it’s dragged down by ham-handed dialogue and mediocre acting. 

You know how some TV shows get exported to other countries and remade with that country’s language and actors? Like when the Everybody Loves Raymond concept is remade over in Russia, or when the US remade the Office. This movie feels like a better Hollywood movie was remade in a foreign country and then was remade in the US. Like if you put something through Google translate and then back into English. It all makes sense, seems really simplistic, and something is slightly off.

That being said, I do think there was some creativity with some shots and the creature design was good. 

As far as scares, it relies heavily on jump scares. Some of which are very effective.

I want to like it more, but it was very predictable and I was bothered by the dialogue and acting.

Score

4/10

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Godzilla vs Kong is a complicated, mind bending thriller that will have you asking what is real. It’s got me wondering if movies will ever be the same again. 

Synopsis

The story starts with an attack by Godzilla upon a private megacorp out of Pensacola, Florida, called Apex. It seems that he has turned from a good ultra-monster to a bad one, and everyone is very concerned about it.

The leading mind scientists in the world decide that earth’s only hope is to take Kong out of his enclosure on Spider-Skull island to do battle with Godzilla.

Shit starts to go sideways when Monke realizes he can’t swim, and everyone gets more big bonk energy than they bargained for.

Review

There is no way to prepare the audience for Godzilla vs Kong. All we can do is tell you to find a table, get under it, and start blowing mud in your big boy pants. Once your pants are full, pray that society will mend itself before you have to throw your own turds at the biggest monkey you’ve ever seen.

Honestly, there is nothing that I can say that you don’t already know. Even if all you know is the title of this movie, you know everything. 

There is either a gigantic hole in your life that only monkey punches can fill, or there isn’t. 

I’m not going to lie, I liked this movie more than I thought I would. This is a hard movie to quantify because it’s so obvious in so many ways. 

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Some of the things I struggle with in reviewing Godzilla vs Kong are:

Top tier talent behind the helm and on the screen. This is directed by Adam Wingard, who also directed V/H/S and You’re Next, which are some horror films I loved. It also stars and features,  Alexander Skarsgård, Millie Bobby Brown, Rebecca Hall, Julian Dennison, Lance Reddick, and Demián Bichir. 

On the other hand, none of them give a good performance in this, and are as melba toast boring as you can possibly imagine. 

But, Godzilla does fight with King fucking Kong. 

The sound design is unbelievable, and this whole movie seems like one big Dolby display for massive crunching and roaring sounds, which could be a drawback if you are looking to sip some wine and fall asleep on the couch. 

But, Godzilla does fight with King fucking Kong.

In my opinion this isn’t as good as movie as Kong: Skull Island, or Godzilla (2014).

But, Godzilla does fight with King fucking Dong. 

So, you have a choice ahead of you. You can watch this movie and be pummeled by monster fights the likes of which you’ve never seen before, or you can save yourself two hours and pretend like you saw this movie and no one will ever be able to tell the difference. 

I will say that this felt pretty similar to The Meg, but now all I can think is who would win if Godzilla and Kong fought the Meg. 

Score

4/10

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The Thing is the thingiest thing that ever thinged.

The Thing is available for rent on all the places.

Synopsis

The Thing takes place in an Antarctic research station, where they are studying… snow or something. Their sleepy routine is broken when a dog with shifty eyes appears while being chased by crazed Norwegians with guns in a helicopter. It turns out that the dog with shifty eyes is some sort of evil…thing. When the researchers discover that the dog has turned into a tentacle monster, they start to become suspicious.

The thing turns out to be an alien that can imitate any animal or man exactly. When the researchers can’t identify which of them is human or thing, everyone, as gen Z says, becomes sus.

Review of The Thing

I went into this thinking great ANOTHER remake. What was wrong with the 1951 original? Well, this one won me over.

Just kidding, The Thing is The Thing. It stands as one of the best practical effects horror films of the 80s, which is saying a lot. The story has tension baked in, and John Carpenter sucks every drop of tension out of it. 

The character development is pretty thin, but you end up rooting for Kurt Russell to win, because he’s Kurt Russell. Overall, the cast is great, and the acting is excellent.

The two main characters though, are the snow and the thing. The thing is one of the best monsters in horror, and lends itself to unlimited creativity when it comes to horrific appearances. The practical effects and puppetry are the things of a hentai addicts wet dream. It is really disturbing and surreal whenever the thing attacks or goes through a transformation.

It’s one of the tentpoles of the genre, and is a must watch for any horror fan.

Score

10/10

The Thing

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We saw The Wolf of Snow Hollow and were pleasantly surprised by a character driven movie with more good acting than I’ve seen in a while. The Wolf of Snow Hollow is a slice of life, horror-comedy that transforms from a mild mannered movie into a hairy, scary thriller that will rip you to shreds.

Synopsis

The quiet life in a small mountain town is disrupted when bodies are discovered mutilated in gruesome fashion. 

This story follows officer Marshall who has been struggling with alcoholism, and gaining respect from his co-workers, father, and his daughter.

Each time the body count rises, it’s a full moon, which leads the townsfolk to suspect a werewolf. It also adds increasing stress to officer Marshall who seems certain that it’s just a very large man, but no one seems to respect his opinion. 

As the tension rises, so does the volume as officer Marshall seems to believe that shouting at everyone is the best way to lead, but in the end, everyone gets more wolf than they bargained for.

Review

I knew nothing about The Wolf of Snow Hollow when I started watching it, and found myself delighted at the writing, acting, and characters within this comedic, horror/thriller. 

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This is the second feature length directorial credit to Jim Cummings name, and it has placed him in the upper echelon of up-and-comers that I will be watching for the next few years.

As it happens, Jim Cummings plays our imperfect protagonist, which is great because he is a total hunk. My wife walked into the room as I was watching this and had a hard time remembering my name, which is fine because I couldn’t remember it either.

The small-town characters are straight out of Groundhog Day and the banter is both charming and real. 

The lack of respect that is paid to officer Marshall echoes how I imagine everyone feels in their life as they try to prove themselves competent and worthwhile in a sea of people who only want to put them down.

While this was not a tongue-in-cheek comedy, like Butt Boy, it feels like a slice of life.

The incredible brutality of the murders are offset by some very fun and lighthearted moments for the first two acts before The Wolf of Snow Hollow takes a deadly serious turn in the final act.

The Wolf of Snow Hollow is a very relatable and well-made movie that just happens to feature some very tense moments. It’s more fun than I bargained for, and the twist is quite good once you put together what it all means for all the characters involved.

Score

9/10

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It’s Lep in the hood, and he’s up to no good. No seriously, it’s pretty bad.

Leprechaun in the Hood can be found streaming on ad supported Peacock, and for rent everywhere else.

Synopsis

Leprechaun in the Hood can be found streaming for free with ads on Peacock or available for rent wherever.

Leprechaun in the Hood, or “Lep in the Hood” if you’re cool, is the fifth entry in the Leprechaun series about an evil Leprechaun. This time he’s in the hood. The Leprechaun played by Warwick Davis is awakened inadvertently when his gold doubloons, magic flute, and necklace are stolen by three aspiring terrible rappers from a pimp/music producer played by Ice-T.

Review of Leprechaun in the Hood

You should know what you are getting into when you watch a fifth sequel to a straight to video franchise. This is not a good movie per se, but it can be enjoyable. This movie enters the realm of so bad it’s good. The cheap production design, bad acting, and the aggressively corny rhyming dialogue all make this to be a great movie to mock with friends. It’s also entertainingly out of date and worth a watch this St Patrick’s Day in my opinion, just know what you’re getting into.

Score

3/10

Leprechaun in the Hood

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We watched Butt Boy, and to be honest, it’s simultaneously exactly what you think it is and nothing like you’ve ever seen.

Synopsis

Butt Boy is the story of Chip (Tyler Cornack), a disaffected man in his midlife, and Russ (Tyler Rice), a greasy detective with a drinking habit. 

Chip realizes one day that his life is missing something – killing innocent people and animals for his own perverse enjoyment. 

Chip realized he has gone too far when he kills a little baby. He swears off killing and joins Alcoholics Anonymous to find the support he needs to help quell his addiction.

Nine years later Chip meets Detective Gutchell at his weekly AA meeting and becomes his sponsor.

Subsequently, Chip is spurred to kill again by Detective Gutchell’s stories of his love of alcohol, and the high it gets him. What Chip doesn’t realize is that Detective Gutchell is the man assigned to the missing boy case – the very boy Chip killed.

What ensues is a terrifying game of cat and mouse, will Chip keep killing? Will Detective Gutchell crack the case?

Now, every iteration of the word “kill” above and replace it with “shoving things and people up his butt” and you have Butt Boy.

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Review

Butt Boy is an incredibly funny movie by writer/director/lead actor Tyler Conack came up with. It’s deadpan delivery and serious tone lend such an air of sophistication to such an incredibly absurd premise that all you can do is laugh.

This movie takes deadly serious topics of serial killing and detective work and throws the biggest wrench it possibly can into the works, to see what happens when shit gets real.

Butt Boy takes a color-drenched neo-noir world with serious characters and forces the most emotionally vacant character to enjoy shoving things, animals, and people up his butt so much that he becomes a serial butt-shover. 

But my enjoyment goes so far beyond the delivery and the premise of Butt Boy. When you start to realize what is happening, that a grown man can somehow cram picture frames, and dogs into his butt the movie starts to force you to ask, “”Is he going to shove that up his butt?” every time Chip looks at something a little too long. 

The tension is Butt Boy is handled with deadly seriousness and for some reason it works.

The name works against and for the movie. I’ll say this, it makes it really difficult to convince people that they should watch it, and they should. But when they do start watching it, they will immediately ask, “is that butt boy?” or “is butt boy going to put that up his butt?” or “no butt boy, don’t put that up your butt!”

I have to say, after having watched Young Frankenstein recently, it’s astonishing to see how far genre comedy has come in 50 years. It’s become simultaneously so sophisticated and so crass that I have to laugh.

Score

8/10

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Society is gory goopy 80s fun. This film should be at the top of your watch list if you are a fan of body horror.

Society can be found streaming on Amazon Prime and Tubi for free, and for rent everywhere else.

Synopsis

Society is about 17 year old Bill Whitney (Billy Warlock) who has a sneaking suspicion that something is strange about his upper class family. Plagued by grotesque visions, he turns to his therapist for answers, but is reassured that he is just hallucinating. His suspicions don’t go away, and a series of freak accidents follow him whenever he is close to getting answers. In the end, he gets more Society than he bargained for.

Review of Society

Society is probably one of the most well known body horror movies because of the last 30 minutes. If you want goopy eighties body horror, this is your movie, but be advised that you can probably skip the first hour. This is a movie that feels like it could have been a short film. There is really nothing going on in the first hour other than a teenager feeling suspicious. Overall, it’s goofy and tasteless fun, but I just wish there was more to it.

Score

6/10

Society

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My Bloody Valentine is another slasher from the early slasher days, where the formula is generic, the kills are frequent, and there’s probably a boob floating around out there for the dudes in the audience.

Synopsis

My Bloody Valentine is the story of a small mining town in the rural US in the early 80’s. This town is celebrating Valentines day for the first time in 20 years. 

The town is full of young couples who plan on partying during their new Valentines celebration. 

But everyone seems to have forgotten the reason why this town didn’t celebrate Valentines, because on this day many years ago there was a terrible min accident that left a man named Harry Warden crazy and seeking revenge every February 14th.

Everyone ends up with more candy hearts than they bargained for.

Review

My Bloody Valentine got in near the ground floor of the slasher craze in 1981. This is the same year that Friday the 13th Part 2 and Halloween 2 were released. 

It was directed by George Mihalka, and manages to be a better than average slasher.

My Bloody Valentine has a few things going for it:

• Interesting setting
• Decent acting
• Fun characters
• Good budget
• Unique villain

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Unfortunately it just doesn’t set itself apart from the vast array of other slashers very well. For it’s time it was a head above the rest of the competition, and probably one of the most notable slashers behind the big boys. 

However, today My Bloody Valentine just doesn’t have any memorable moments that make it undeniable. Sleepaway Camp is so over the top and crazy with the pedophiles, and shocking conclusion that it stakes out a spot in your memory. My Bloody Valentine is full of nostalgia, but that’s not enough.

Score

5/10

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