Horror Movie Talk

We watched The Wailing on Shudder.com and found out just how badly a well meaning dad can fuck up his entire family. A lesson I learned long ago.

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Synopsis

Jong-goo (Kwak Do-won) is a local policeman and caring father to Hyo-jin (Hwan-hee Kim), the precocious young daughter. A stranger enters their village and immediately things start to go awry.

Families are found horrifically murdered, and people in the village seem to be changing.

A Japanese man who lives in the forest is fingered as the culprit, but what is really going on?

As Hyo-jin gets sick, father Jong-goo takes it on himself to solve the mystery surrounding what exactly is happening to their village. 

Review

The Wailing was directed and written by Na Hong-jin and many have called it one of the most impressive horror movies of the last 20 years.

I would call The Wailing the Indiana Jones of horror movies. It’s constantly throwing new stuff your way. It’s hard to know what’s around the next bend, but you can bet that it will be exciting, terrifying, or totally shocking.

More than that, it’s an engaging labyrinth of a story that answers questions only to reveal more questions.

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Those who want an ending that’s easy to understand may want to steer clear of The Wailing, but to be honest it’s pretty fun to guess at what it all means.

Personally, this movie has been hyped for so long by so many that I came away a bit underwhelmed. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fine movie that’s pretty interesting and it definitely kept me on the edge of my seat.

I just expected something so much more scary than this due to everyone’s reaction to it and there’s just no way it could deliver.

There’s also something of a cultural rift that I feel in The Wailing more so than in other foreign films. I felt like there was tons of subtext and meaning that I was missing due to my inherent Western upbringings.

Score

8/10

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The movie that launched a thousand stationary camcorders. Paranormal Activity cracked the code of found footage to make one of the most successful horror movies of all time. Listen to our review and see if it still holds up.

Synopsis

Paranormal Activity follows Katie and Micah, young twenty-somethings that are steady dating and living with each other. Told through the lens of Micah’s new camera equipment, we learn that he is attempting to document PARANORMAL ACTIVITY that Katie purports to be happening in their suburban house.

We learn that this is not the first time Katie has been haunted, and we watch as Micah attempts to use his powers of toxic masculinity to solve the problem.

Review of Paranormal Activity

Paranormal Activity was not the first found footage movie, but it was the first one to really crack the code for what makes that gimmick work. It remains the most profitable horror movie based on return on investment. With a budget of 450,000, it raked in nearly 90 million. Not that that speaks to the film itself, but it definitely speaks to popularity and marketability.

It’s interesting to come back to the original since the series has expanded in scope and lore. This is a simple movie, that mostly documents the happenings in a single bedroom.

It strikes a chord, because katie and micah’s relationship feels real enough to engage with the story. The viewer is drawn in to try and catch the signs of PARANORMAL ACTIVITY through the nightly static camera shots of a doorway. Sound boring? Well did I tell you it had (LOW RUMBLE)?

For what it is, and me growing up with sightings, before every douchebag had a ghost hunting tv show, this tapped into the suspension of disbelief around “real hauntings”. There aren’t really ghosts reaching through tvs stealing children, but do you know what there is? Ghosts knocking things off of shelves like housecats.

I love this film and several of its sequels before it totally got fucked out. I think it still works, although it’s not one you can revisit often, or see in a marathon.

Score

10/10

Paranormal Activity

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We saw Willow Creek on Vudu and it was everything that I remember about talking to Bigfoot believers.

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Synopsis

Willow Creek is a found footage film focused on bigfoot enthusiast and documentarian Jim (Bryce Johnson) and his girlfriend Kelly (Alexie Gilmore). 

Jim and Kelly are visiting Willow Creek, and the site of the original bigfoot footage shoot, the Patterson-Gimlin film shoot. 

Jim has been a passionate Bigfoot believer his whole life and is super-excited to make this documentary that allows him to pay homage to the epicenter of his obsession.

Kelly is not as crazy about the idea, but she is very supportive of his effort and holds the camera a lot of the time.

While Jim interviews locals about the legend, we learn a few things about the mystery of bigfoot before the couple take the plunge into the forest primeval and get more bigfeet than they bargained for.

Review

Willow Creek is a remarkably simple film that capitalizes on everyone’s fear of the woods at night.

It’s not the best found footage camping film (Blair Witch), but it’s so sparse and short that I really can’t hate it.

The direction by Bobcat Goldthwait is simple and unobtrusive, but it makes sure to pay homage to all the tropes that you might expect it to. 

Willow Creek knows it’s lane, which is cheap, barebones, short, and mostly improvised. As long as you go into it with that in mind, it probably won’t offend your sensibilities.

If you are a person who is terrified of the woods at night, this is a fabulous way to scare yourself silly, or you could also try the slightly better version of this, Backcountry. 

One of the most questionable choices in Willow Creek is the decision to make the whole movie rest on a 25 minute long single shot toward the end of the movie. Your enjoyment of the entire movie will hinge on how this shot strikes you, and strangely it worked better on me on my second viewing. 

Overall Willow Creek is a fun found footage movie with a nice mix of subtle comedy and spooky moments.

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Score

6/10

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The Possession of Hannah Grace does the smart move and doesn’t make itself a carbon copy of all The Exorcist copycats. This is an interesting twist on the demon possession sub genre and is well crafted enough to overcome its repetitiveness.

Synopsis

The possession of Hannah Grace is not like other possession movies. If you are expecting an exorcism in the denouement, you will be surprised that it’s the opening scene, and it results in the death of the titular character. The best way to describe this movie is that it’s like the demon version of Weekend at Bernie’s.

The protagonist of the film, Megan Reed (played by Shay Mitchell) is a recovering alcoholic and pill popper that takes a new job as the intake assistant at a hospital morgue during the GRAVEYARD shift. Hannah Grace’s body is delivered to the morgue on her first night on the job and as the night progresses, stranger and stranger things start happening. By the time that Megan realizes there is something fishy about Hannah, the demon has gained enough power to start killing a lot of people.

Review of The Possession of Hannah Grace

There are a lot of things that are good about The Possession of Hannah Grace. First of all, it completely subverts the expectations of a possession film, by not focusing on the lead up to an exorcism. 

The writing is surprisingly competent given that it was written by a writer from Teen Wolf. I really liked how they handled exposition in the beginning and set up all the rules for a normal night at the morgue.

There were some really effective jump scares especially from the ginger night security guard.

Kirby Johnson who plays Hannah gives a great performance as a contortionist.

 The the biggest downfall of the film is that it gets really repetitive at the end. All the deaths are essentially the same, so I wish they had some more creativity around that, but they were effective in showing the hopelessness of the situation.

Megan’s character has an arc, but it seems a little paint by numbers and doesn’t establish very strong stakes for the story. I guess we are worried that she’ll die? Do we care if she relapses? She’s more there to be a witness than anything.

Overall it was a pretty good film. I feel a little bad that we let it slip by when it was a new release

Score

6/10

The Possession of Hannah Grace

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We watched Puppet Master on Tubi and were reminded of a simpler time, a time when puppets rules the earth and we were helpless to prevent their tyrannical rule.

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Synopsis

Puppet Master is the “story” of Andre Toulon, a master of puppets who has found an ancient egyptian method of imbuing puppets with life. 

He killed himself long ago and now he’s back?

But he’s a different guy now, and his psychic friends must suffer because they are psychic.

Everyone gets more Full Moon Features than they bargained for.

Review

Historical Significance

Puppet Master (1989) spawned a massive, 14 movie series of sequels and spinoffs. It was written by Charles Band who we interviewed a few months ago in our Gingerdead Man Review.

It’s a typical exploitation movie by Full Moon Productions, cashing in on the recent success of creepy little things movies like Gremlins, Child’s Play, and Dolls. For some reason that I can’t quite work out, Puppet Master struck a cord with general audiences and became a straight to video hit. 

With a budget of $400,000 it went on to make many millions, and surpassed many theatrical releases of the time in terms of profitability by a wide margin.

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My Criticisms

The movie itself is profoundly flawed. I found it extremely boring and confusing. There is not a lot here in terms of redeeming value, other than the circus of zany sequels that it spawned. 

Most of my criticisms can be boiled down to the phrase, “it’s the best that Full Moon has to offer.” which is the truth. It’s wacky, stupid, and has a mildly interesting baddie.

I think the principle sin that Puppet Master commits is that it takes itself too seriously. The dialog and story make very little sense, but they keep at it. When the script falters and becomes boring, they keep shoving it down your throat. But really, it’s your fault for expecting anything from a straight to video movie called Puppet Master.

Although I’ve only seen one other Puppet Master movie, Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich, I would recommend it much more enthusiastically than I would the original. The Littlest Reich understands what it is and embraces it while the original gropes around aimlessly to try and find something entertaining to show you.

Score

2/10

Is X going to give it to you? Yes, indubitably, X is going to give it to you.

Synopsis

In the Halcyon days of mid-coke, pre-aids 1979, a fledgling porn production crew sets off to Rural Texas to try and film the next mainstream breakout porno, ala Debbie Does Dallas. They find an old farm house to rent from an elderly couple and try to hide the production from the conservative and suspicious owners. They are eventually discovered by Pearl, the elderly farmer’s wife, and she takes a cotton to Mia Goth’s Maxine. Soon, the porno people find themselves in danger and fight for their lives to escape a possible Texas pitchfork massacre. 

Review of X (2022)

If you are wondering what a straight ahead A24 slasher looks like, here it is. It has the gore and body count of  a slasher, and the artsy fartsy shot composition and character focus of an A24 film. Is this an “elevated slasher”? Not quite, but it does put in more effort towards character development and theme exploration than any Friday the 13th film. 

The film explores the themes of youth and ambition as well as the inverse of old age and lost opportunities. A touch of religious judgment is sprinkled in there in the form of a TV preacher, but that is really to flavor the setting, and not integral to the story.

I really liked this film, and was fully engaged throughout. It doesn’t go too far into A24 avant garde territory, but references it in an almost tongue in cheek way that is entertaining. To say that this is “more than a slasher” is probably giving it more credit than it deserves, but there are some great scenes that build tension and dread that don’t necessarily fit in the regular slasher cliches. 

If you are wondering if there is nudity, X gon’ give it to ya. Tits, side boob, and dick silhouette galore in this film. Putting X up against recent slashers such as Scream 2022, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022 and Studio 666, it makes them look like prudes. 

I highly recommend this film.

Score

9/10

We went and saw Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil and it reminded me how stupid college kids are.

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Synopsis

Tucker (Alan Tudyk) and Dale (Tyler Labine) are headed into the woods to fix up Tucker’s new vacation cabin. It’s going to be a weekend of fishing, fixing, and getting fucked up. A couple of guys, alone in the woods.

Nearby this cabin, a plethora of college kids are camping and partying it up. They meet the silly duo of Tucker and Dale and immediately are spooked by their hillbillyishness. 

Things come to a head one night when the college kids decide to go skinnydipping in the same lake that Tucker and Dale are night fishing. 

An angelic girl named Allison (Katrina Bowden) falls off a rock and hits her head, and our goofy duo go to save her. As they do, they shout to the other college kids that “We’ve got your friend!” and that sets in motion the zaniest misunderstanding you’ve seen all summer long!

Everyone gets more don’t judge a book by it’s cover than they bargained for.

Review

Directed by Eli Craig, Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil was released in 2010 to only 33 theaters and eventually was shown in 44 theaters. Despite this limited theatrical release, when it was released on Netflix, it was met with universal enjoyment. 

Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil is a movie that takes the common horror movie structure of partying kids in the woods and inverts the classic protagonist/antagonist relationship. This inversion was a pretty unique thing even in the somewhat oversaturated world of meta-horror. It was a new brand of winking at the audience, one where the audience feels empathy for both the good guy and the bad guy. 

Horrible things happen in this movie, but the only thing to blame is a breakdown in communication between the two groups, or an othering of the hillbillies by the college kids

The dry wit and laugh out loud moments in this movie are a ton of fun and often the result of totally shocking and unexpected misunderstandings or accidents. The characters are completely wonderful and easy to fall in love with.

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The problem with Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil is because the whole premise is based on a misunderstanding, they had to manufacture an antagonist and that feels a little goofy. Chad (Jesse Moss) is as one dimensional a character as they come, and his motives aren’t interesting or fun. To me, this leaves the movie feeling a bit hollow in the third act. It meanders around a bad guy fight that we don’t care about and leaves me wishing we had just ended with a nice therapy session in act two.

The ending leaves a lot to be desired, but the impact that this movie has had on general audiences can’t be overstated. It’s enjoyed by horror fans for it’s interesting take on an old premise, and it seems to be the logical predecessor to the more impressive movie that does the same thing but with less comedy and more scares, The Cabin in the Woods, which came out the following year, 2011.

This is a different and more sophisticated kind of fun than Gremlins 2 is but the result is the same 

Score

7/10

Ever want to see the Foo Fighters in a horror movie? To bad you’re getting one anyway.

Synopsis

Studio 666, starring the Foo Fighters, tells the story of the band recording it’s 10th album in a haunted mansion. Decades earlier the mansion was the site of an infamous rock band murder suicide. Sloooooooowly as the plot unfolds, it’s revealed that there is a connection to a more sinister influence and Dave Grohl becomes the pawn in a demon’s attempt at opening a portal to hell.

Review of Studio 666

This is what you get if you combine A Hard Days Night with a Charles Band movie and give it more budget than it deserves. 

In terms of movie making craft, this is a pretty shitty movie. The pacing is awful. The 1:50 run time could have been cut down to 70 minutes and lose absolutely nothing. The direction is extremely flat. I’ve seen industrial safety education videos with more creativity.

If you are looking for gore, it is here, and there are some genuinely cool death scenes, but you’re going to have to wait for about an hour and 30 minutes for the actual horror part of the horror movie to start.

It’s not all bad. In fact this is a very fun movie with a lot of moments that I really liked. I mentioned The Beatles A Hard Days Night, because I do think it’s an apt comparison. In both movies, they are really carried by the charm and humor of the band itself. These are not professional actors, but their goofy hammy acting is endearing and fun to watch.

Is this a movie that you should rush to see in theaters? No, definitely not. But if you want to watch an oddity and have a few laughs, you could do worse than Studio 666.

Score

4/10

Studio 666

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We watched the wildly popular and controversial new film on Netflix, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and were shocked by the amount of home renovation involved in this iteration of the classic slasher franchise.

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Synopsis

A group of fresh young social media influencers flood into a mostly abandoned Texas town to help revitalize the community and auction off the town.

They are intent on building a new politically correct community in the heart of what was once the “deep south” with all the fixin’s of culture that entails.

They end up finding one of the buildings, which is an old orphanage, still inhabited by an old lady and her gigantic, mute son. The influencers have the old lady kicked out and she dies as a result.

Everyone gets way more Leatherface than they bargained for.

Review

Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s story was written by Fede Alvarez & Rodo Sayagues, who also wrote Don’t Breathe, Don’t Breathe 2, and the beloved 2013 remake of Evil Dead – so he knows his way around horrendous violence and hopeless terror. 

It’s hard to say what’s the right way to reboot a classic slasher. Some people will be so excited to get some great new content that they will overlook any flaw. Others will be so upset that their hallowed ground franchise was upset by a newcomer that they will hate it no matter what it does. 

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) and it’s resulting franchise have been through some incredible ups and downs when compared to other slasher franchises. The depths of cheesy cash grabs are right alongside some of the most revered sequels and reboots ever made in slasher history.

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This entry comes close to the brutality and disgusting, sweaty feeling atmosphere that the original gave us. While there is plenty of nitpicking that can and will be done by slasher fans, I think that this is as admirable an entry into the genre as either the new Halloween (2018) or Halloween Kills movies.

It’s gross, hard to watch in parts, extremely gorey, and I didn’t care about any of the characters – meaning it literally checks every single box needed to be a “passable slasher”.

Do I love it to death? No. Would I point a slasher fan at it? Yep. It’s brutal, hopeless, and totally depraved. To be honest though, I was hoping it would go even more violent and terrible than it did, and I don’t know what that says about me.

Score

7/10

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Drag Me To Hell brings Sam Raimi back to what he does best. Over the top, tongue in cheek horror. If you haven’t seen this one, you should.

Synopsis

Drag Me To Hell, Directed by Sami Raimi, and starring Alison Lohman and the Mac guy, follows Christine Brown as she suffers the consequences of a Gypsy curse. She is cursed because she denies an old creepy woman a bank loan. Through the curse, she is tormented by an evil demon for three days and is told if the curse does not break, she will be dragged to hell to live all eternity with Hitler and unbaptised dead babies.

The moral to the story is give creepy old ladies what they want.

Review of Drag Me To Hell

This movie is PG-13 and you will be so distracted by your disgust to even notice that no one says fuck. I think this is the best pg-13 horror movie ever made.

Sam Raimi’s kinetic and unhinged directing style throttles you through the plot with very little fluff.

This film really hits the sweet spot for me. The characters are fleshed out, The special effects are viscerally over the top, and there is a subtle ribbon of humor strung throughout. 

Overall it’s a very fun film to watch. The dramatic irony, the well timed callbacks, and undercurrent of campy energy kept me engaged throughout. 

Score

9/10

Drag Me To Hell

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