Horror Movie Talk

Does this Shutter make you shudder? I’ll see myself out…

Synopsis

After a night out with friends, a photographer named Tun and his girlfriend Jane are driving home when they accidentally hit a woman in the street. Instead of helping her, Tun convinces Jane to run to avoid responsibility. In the days after Tun starts to notice strange artifacts in his photos. They soon realize that this isn’t regular photography, its…G-G-G-Ghost photograph. As the photo ghost continues to haunt them, they try to unravel the mystery behind why she is haunting them. 

Review of Shutter (2004)

This is a pretty ok movie. It’s pretty run of the mill formula of “here’s a paranormal phenomena thats talked about on Discovery channel, lets wrap a movie around it.” It loses points for relying way too much on ghost pikaboo and disorientating fakeouts. I think they would have done better trying to scare the audience with jumpscares, and focused on the drama/mystery more.

The repetition of jump scares and creepy photos throughout the second act are only interrupted by confusing non-sequiter appearances of one of Tun’s friends, Tonn, asking desperately for photographs before his untimely death. It all makes sense in the end, but the pacing and editing were off so it feels like the first half of the movie crashed into a second movie halfway through.

The story behind the ghost is the most compelling part of the movie, and unfortunately they leave most of that until the third act. 

Overall it was an interesting story with pacing issues, but at an hour and thirty minute runtime, it never really outstayed its welcome.

Score

5/10

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is a fun, action/comedy that makes you wonder why it took so long to get a decent D&D movie made.

@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.

Synopsis

A charming thief with nothing to lose and everything to gain embarks on an epic quest to find a party of like-minded ne’er-do-wells who will help him obtain a long lost relic. 

This plucky adventure takes a turn for the worst when evil red wizards start taking over the Neverwinter.

Will our band of fun and quirky characters pull off the heist of a lifetime, or will they end up part of the army of the dead?

Review

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves takes a game that historically has been considered one of the dorkiest, nerdiest, most basement dwelling neckbeardian IP’s in the free world and attempts to make it appeal to general audiences.

Somehow, they did it! They made Dungeons and Dragons digestible for your jock boyfriends, your football dads, and your Christian mothers Boggle groups. 

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is a fun and easygoing romp through an incredible fantasy world that isn’t bogged down with over-ripe lore or too-serious stakes. 

It’s comedy chops are great, which really keeps the audience grounded almost as well as the fabulous casting. 

Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez, and Hugh Grant anchor the cast and keep everyone in lockstep for the duration. 

The pacing is appropriate and holds everyone’s attention by constantly showcasing some of the coolest fantasy world elements I’ve ever seen. 

Watch Dungeons and Dragons Honor Among Thieves

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If Star Trek can have a resurgence there is absolutely no reason Dungeons and Dragons shouldn’t too. This IP has some of the most detailed and thorough content in the entire world, spanning the tabletop games, multiple book series, and dozens of video and card games. 

What we get in this movie is lots of fun, tons of great laughs, some astonishing eye candy, and the most generic of plots and stakes. 

Sometimes generic is alright, and this is the exact case that proves that point. No one wants a deadly serious Dungeons and Dragons movie. No one plays a deadly serious game of Dungeons and Dragons. 

It’s fine that the story and plot are generic and somewhat foggy. Will it win awards and be lauded throughout time? No, but it won’t go down as a failure and an embarrassment to nerds everywhere.

Score

7/10

Come on Barbie let’s go cry, oh oh no.

Synopsis

Barbie is about a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world

Life in plastic, it’s fantastic

That’s until she starts having intrusive thoughts of death, and her body undergoes changes that are new and disturbing to her.

Barbie soon finds herself on a journey leaving Barbieland behind and going into the real world where she tries to solve the mystery of her psychological and physical changes.

There is also Ken.

Review of Barbie

I partook in the cultural phenomena that was Barbenheimer on opening night, first watching the 3 hour long Oppenheimer biopic alone and then watching Barbie with my wife afterwards.

Oppenheimer was good and told an interesting story that conveyed an impressive amount of information even for a 3 hour long movie.

Barbie entered my head and has not left since I watched it the first time. I couldn’t stop thinking about it throughout the week. I yearned to watch certain scenes again, and consumed interviews with the cast and the director to process the overwhelming spectacle that was Barbie

I’ll stand here, without any irony or shame, and say that I think Barbie might be the best movie of the decade so far, and the best movie of the year, without a question.

Everyone involved was firing on all cylinders. Casting, acting, writing, directing, production design, music, choreography. All were perfect.

I was smiling ear to ear the whole time, except when I was crying. My wife and I were rolling from laughing throughout. It also goes surprisingly deep with existentialism and feminism.

I watched it again last night, and even after hearing criticisms about it being unfunny or that it was propaganda, the second viewing only cemented my opinion. 

Score

10/10

Is it a horror movie or an action movie? It doesn’t matter, Nic Cage turns in one of the best performances of his career.

Synopsis

Renfield tells the story of Count Dracula’s titular servant struggling to become self actualized in modern times after discovering his codependency in a 12-step self help group. Dracula, who has been convalescing for an indeterminate amount of time is finally gaining enough power to continue his plans for world domination, and Renfield’s self empowerment is really throwing a wrench into his plans. 

To make matters worse, a local wolf themed gang is trying to kill Renfield, and he must combat them using his bug diet fueled superpowers.

Review of Renfield

The headline on this one, is that Dracula is the role that Nic Cage was born to play, and he appropriately chews up the scenery whenever he is on screen. This movie is a lot of fun thematically and visually. Renfield and Dracula’s relationship interpreted through modern codependency and narcissism pop-psychology is just a great funny premise.

Nicholas Hoult plays Renfield by channeling by channeling his former About a Boy costar Hugh Grant and is a great straight man to Dracula’s antics.

The filmmakers don’t go with a straight ahead comedy, but surprisingly fold in the superhero action genre as well. It ends up being a hard-R action comedy ala Deadpool. I can’t say it completely works for me, since the action and superpowered violence feels like an arbitrary add-on, but that’s not to say it’s not good. Some of the funnest parts are the absurdly violent fight sequences that produce more gore than most horror movies. 

Looking at the writers and directors, the motley film starts to make more sense. The story is by Robert Kirkman, who’s famous for his comic and TV successes with The Walking Dead and Invincible. It’s written by Ryan Ridley, a writer for Rick and Morty, and directed by Chris McKay, who directed the Lego Batman Movie. All of whom are great at mixing genres to great effect.

Score

9/10

The Village was voted on by our patrons who have very good taste, because this M. Night movie still works.

@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.

Synopsis

The Village is the story of a community that sequestered themselves in the woods to avoid the evils and pain caused by the world at large. Set in the late 1800’s the community is full of interesting and varied people.

But not all is well in the village – there is an evil that lurks in the forest, kept at bay by certain colors and a tenuous truce that has been struck with the creatures.

Ivy Walker (Bryce Dallas Howard) and Lucius Hunt (Joaquin Phoenix) fall in love and are set to be married when a violence occurs, leaving Lucius close to death.
The blind Ivy must face the terrors in the woods and the evils of society in order to save her new love. 

Everyone gets more irony than they bargained for.

Review

The Village is a fun thriller with a stellar cast and some interesting concepts. The acting is interesting and well performed, the script is slow and intentional, and it provides lots of fall atmosphere.

A lot of people bag on movies by M. Night Shyamalan that aren’t The Sixth Sense, but honestly they aren’t giving him his due.

The Village explores interesting emotional territory in allegory. It poses the questions of building emotional walls by putting up real walls. 

Watch The Village (2004)

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It’s also a really fun period piece to boot. Where else can you find Sigourney Weaver, Joaquin Phoenix, Bryce Dallas Howard, Adrien Brody, Brendan Gleeson, Judy Greer, and Jesse Eisenberg all in one place?

The thing that I cherish most about this movie is the devotion to atmosphere. It’s spooky and stark, set in the woods of New England and it just feels like Halloween.

The creature design is effective and the scares are appropriate for young and old alike.

Score

9/10

Audition is just one of those movies, you know.

Synopsis

The film follows Shigeharu Aoyama (Ryo Ishibashi) a widower that upon encouragement from his college age (?) son decides to find a new wife. After sharing his intentions to find a suitable mate with a coworker in the movie business, they hatch a scheme to screen a bevy of eligible young women in the guise of a film audition. Pouring over thousands of resume’s, Shigeharu is smitten with one woman in particular. After seeing her audition, he reaches out and they start dating. His coworker has doubts about her, but Shigeharu is undaunted and falls madly in love. Turns out, you should listen to your friends.

Review of Audition

Much is made about Audition as a truly disturbing movie, and I have to say, I was kind of disappointed. Is my heart so cold that it’s no longer stirred by amputations? What has become of me. 

This is the case of being on the vanguard and being eclipsed by the films that were inspired by it. In 1999 torture porn horror had not been a term that anyone had heard of, and at the time this must have been shocking and groundbreaking for genre fans. However after Saw, Hostel, and the Human Centipede, Audition seems quaint almost.

The strong suit of the film is the midstream switcheroo of genres. Well into act 2, this is a pretty charming, run-of-the-mill Romcom, but the third act is straight Lynchian horror.

It portends to be a deep and psychological film, but there really isn’t much depth in the end in my opinion. No real strong statements are made other than abuse is bad, and can have lasting effects. I wish they would have delved deeper into Asami’s backstory and her unmasked psyche, but they really wanted to slow roll the plot and then take their time with the gore in the third act. 

Don’t get me wrong, the third act is very strong, and works, it just takes so long to get there without fully using the runtime to make the characters compelling.

Overall this is a unique and weird movie, but isn’t going on the top of any of my lists. It deserves attention, but seems a little overhyped for what it is. 

Score

Score 6/10

We watched the Hobbit and were transported to Middle Earth to find gold, truth, and destiny.

Synopsis

A Little person named Bilbo is whisked away from his home by other little people and their enablist wizard friend named Gandalf the dick. 

Bilbo is forced to do the bidding of the Dwarves for the entire trip and every single time he asks, “are we there yet?” they threaten to turn the car around, but they never do.

Eventually Bilbo is forced to steal some stuff from drug addicts and then stuff gets real weird. 

Everyone gets more gold than they bargained for.

Review

If you want to see one of the quintessential movies from my childhood, this is it. The art direction is strange and alluring, the story is neatly trimmed down to fit the 90 minute format, and it’s one of the best stories ever told.

The songs are fun, and have that folky 70’s feel. The voice actors fit their roles perfectly, and the adventure feels great.

Much of the creature design is very intense and scary for a cartoon that was probably aimed at kids, but I feel like this is one of the bonuses of growing up in the 70’s and 80’s.

Producers didn’t pander, they made cool stuff that adults and kids would want to see because they couldn’t look away.

Watch The Hobbit (1977)

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This was a made to be a television special and was animated by Topcraft, who was the precursor to  Studio Ghibli.

Much of the original critical reception of the movie had to do with the strange, Japanese style animation that audiences were not familiar with at the time. More of the reception for the film was glowing, and it even won a Peabody Award. It was nominated for a Hugo but lost to Star Wars.

I love this movie with all my heart, it got me started in fantasy and horror and I wouldn’t be the person I am today had it not been for renting ten thousand times on VHS.

Score

10/10

The demon child cursed our recording session. Listen to take three of this episode where I was sucked of all life.

Synopsis

Gregory Peck plays Robert Thorn, a wealthy and politically influential man who unbeknownst to his wife, adopts a baby boy to replace his son that was born, but died on the same day. The child, named Damien, when he becomes a toddler begins to be surrounded by strange an untimely deaths. When his father starts investigating the circumstances of Damien’s birth, he finds out his mother is a real bitch, and his father, wel his father is a real jerk.

Review of The Omen (1976)

The Omen is a tentpole horror movie, which makes up the unofficial trilogy of parenting horror with Rosemary’s Baby, and The Exorcist. It preys upon every parent’s fear of “is my toddler…evil incarnate?” This movie answers… maybe!

The real horror in the film isn’t anything that Damien does, it’s what he represents for the future, and the powers that seek to protect him. The focus isn’t so much on gaslighting like in Rosemary’s Baby, The Omen focuses on “outside forces” that set themselves against and for the Thorn family. 

“The Omen” in the title refers to the prophecy of the antichrist, and in particular a poem that an ominous priest recites to Mr Thorn.

While there aren’t a lot of “scares”, this is a taut and well paced thriller with plenty of dread and Ominousness. It’s a well constructed and acted movie, with a couple set pieces that really stick in your mind.

I did wish that they did a little more with little Damien to do. He really is a blank slate in the film. He barely had any lines and as far as characterization, he seems indifferent to death, and has shifty eyes. It would have been nice to create more of a dilemma for the ending by showing him as a more normal boy who loved his parents.

I really like this movie, but it doesn’t quite achieve the emotional heights of Rosemary’s Baby or The Exorcist, so I deduct one point.

Score

9/10

We watched What We do in the Shadows and were treated to the best horror comedy since Shaun of the Dead.

@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.

Synopsis

You might not know it, but the life (or death) of a vampire is a lot less romantic and sometimes much more petty and small than you might think.

Viago, Deacon, and Vladislav are old vampires trying to make it in a new world. Making it the same way you or I are trying to make it, really. Just trying to make ends meet while accomplishing something akin to a nightlife.

While they manage the chore wheel and keeping their familiars in check, they manage to get caught up in the wacky hijinks of other somewhat mundane horrors that roam the night.

Everyone gets more laughs than they bargained for.

Review

What We do in the Shadows is a mockumentary by notable New Zealanders Jemaine Clement (Flight of the Conchords)and Taika Waititi (Hunt for the Wilderpeople). 

It’s fun, tight, and hilarious. It’s shot the way a normal documentary might be, but because the setting for much of the movie is in a vampire’s lair it has a spooky ambiance. 

Apart from some funny jumpscares, there is nothing scary about this horror adjacent romp. What We do in the Shadows is just for fun and it’s great at it. So much of this had me rolling around the room, shaking my wife about how this is the best thing I’ve seen since Shaun of the Dead. 

Watch What We do in the Shadows

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Comedy isn’t easy, and comedy horror can feel pretty clunky sometimes, but this is sleek and fun. It smacks deeply of the comedy from a show that I miss deeply, Flight of the Conchords.

What We do in the Shadows pays close attention to making all the characters “real people” which takes away a lot of the sexy emphasis of normal vampires and replaces it with questions like, “How shitty of a roommate would a vampire be?”

Overall, this is an easy watch that is best experienced with friends and family. The R rating is only earned with comically gratuitous blood and occasional curse words. Definitely rent this one if you haven’t already.

Score

8/10

The Blackening is the ideal movie to go see on Juneteenth. This comedy horror movie is worth going to the theater for.

Synopsis

Seven black college friends go away for the weekend to have a kind of reunion and celebrate Juneteenth together. They get trapped in a game room with a game in the center featuring a blackface head that instructs them to answer black culture trivia questions or die. They soon find out that the entire cabin they are staying at is being controlled by a killer with a vendetta. Will their street smarts and knowledge of horror movies help them stay alive? Probably not.

Review of The Blackening

With a tagline like “They can’t all die first”, you know that this is going to be a tongue in cheek horror comedy. The meta humor and fourth wall breaks are frequent throughout the film. In terms of tone, it lands somewhere between Scream, Tucker and Dale, and with touches of Scary Movie.

It follows the slasher trope of assembling a motley crew of characters that are possible fodder for the killer. In this movie those characters include a gay black man, an african immigrant, a reformed gangster, a mixed race woman, and the most broad character being the black nerd that “acts white”.

Most of the first act features utilitarian expositional dialogue to set up all the characters and their relationships. While the characters and plot are simple, they do go slightly beyond most Friday the 13th movies in terms of depth, not that that is very hard.

What is most important in this film, and what stands out is the humor. I laughed multiple times, and had a good time. A lot of the jokes are around stereotypes and black culture, but the best ones are grounded in the specific situation or character.

Score

7/10