Horror Movie Talk

The Burbs is a great movie

Synopsis

Cool guy has chill day

Review

Dope AF

Score

9/10

David is stepping away from Horror Movie Talk, and we are going on an indefinite hiatus. Listen to our announcement special episode for more information.

James Cameron’s sci-fi time travel masterpiece is also an iconic monster movie for horror fans. Listen to us discuss the OG Terminator.

Synopsis

The Terminator is about a machine that terminates. But it’s not bugs like you’d think, it’s people. But not people now in the future from when the Terminator is from, but from the present in the past. It kills present day people from the past, by traveling from the future present. 

Also sent from the now future is Kyle Reece, who needs to save his bosses mom from the Terminator and also generally just be a bummer.

Review of The Terminator

The Terminator as a film is much like it’s titular monster. Slick, focused, and effective. The tone is bleak, and unlike other time travel movies, is stripped of all humor inherent the premise. The script is tight and communicates that the future is a nightmare, and needs to be stopped at all cost. 

Arnold Schwartzenegger gets the role that further pushes him into stardom with his iconic lines like “I’ll be back”,and “Hey, I’m Terminating here!”

James Cameron, in his second feature film, second only to Pirahna 2, creates a fully realized sci-fi masterpiece. The special effects of the Stan Winston Studio and the music of the Brad Fiedel augment what is really just a low budget slasher movie.

The Terminator operated off of a budget of only 6.5 mil. Compare that to The Ice Pirates that came out the same year, that had a budget of 9 million, which was also considered low. 

Score

10/10

Wes Anderson has made a new film, just like the old films, and you will probably chuckle at it and be delighted like the smug little shit that you are.

@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.

Synopsis

We follow the narrative of a writer who is writing a play in real time as though the play is happening in real life. If that sounds confusing, it is.

The characters in the play find themselves in a remote desert location called Asteroid city for a young scientists competition and stargazing event.

All of the characters are tragically human and simultaneously completely devoid of expressive human emotion.

An alien shows up and blows everyone’s mind, but not so much that it changes the trajectory of anyone but a single boy’s life or mind.

Life is weird and complicated.

Review

I can honestly say that Asteroid City is exactly as worthwhile, fun, and interesting as any of Wes Anderson’s catalog of films. 

Sometimes it’s nice to feel the wind in your hair, and that’s exactly what I get when I start any Wes Anderson movie except for The Darjeeling Limited, which I hate without reason.

Asteroid City is a bombshell full of A-List actors, incredibly lit scenes, and emotionless emotion. 

It has fun dialog and lots of interesting eye candy to keep you entertained. 

In-fact, Asteroid City understands the medium of film so well that it’s almost perfect in it’s execution. That is to say, a film is meant to be interesting to look at, with dialog and concepts to stir the mind, and with characters who evoke impressive emotion within the watcher. 

I will say that some of the dialog is delivered so quickly, and with so little difference in inflection that I often found myself not knowing what had just been said.

Also, it’s hard to care too much about some of the main characters for a couple of reasons. 

Firstly, it’s divulged that the story of Asteroid City is a play that is being written by another main character. This level of abstraction seemed overly complicated and unnecessary to the story. The same effect could be achieved with some inner monologue, in my opinion.

Second is the story is spread among so many characters that few receive enough screen time individually to make me care too much about any of them.

These are minor sins in an otherwise fun and funny exploration of the human condition by the world’s most symmetrical film director.

Score

9/10

Which Final Destination you ask? Don’t worry about it. Lets just say that it’s mostly about the first one.

Synopsis

Alex (don’t call him a psychic) Browning along with 40 other high school students board a plane to Paris for a school trip. While still boarding, Alex has a vision of the plane exploding and killing everyone on board. He causes a scene when he tries to warn others and as a result Alex, five other students, and one of their teachers are forced to leave the plane.

While arguing in the terminal, they all witness the plane explode upon taking flight.

They are all stunned that they cheated death, yet soon find out that death will not be cheated, because as the film posits… death a muhfucker.

Review

Final Destination, and the franchise that followed cracked the code of what horror fans really want: amusing deaths. We don’t really care if it’s a knife wielding psychopath, an ancient demon, or a possessed doll. As long as there are deaths that we can chuckle about and talk about afterwards, we’re game. 

Final Destination removes all the clutter, and just focuses on delivering elaborate and ridiculous deaths. Sure it throws in some explanation and rules for why it is happening, but that is all window dressing.

The result is a campy fun horror movie that is a fun watch.

Score

7/10

In A24’s newest horror movie, we get the expected mix of horror, dread, and emotion that you expect with the brand.

Synopsis

Talk to Me is about a young group of friends who get wrapped into the latest social media trend: demonic possession! An acquaintance came into possession of a creepy ceramic hand, and if they shake hands with it and say the magic words, they can see the dead, and even experience being possessed for a minute and a half. As you would expect, it’s a great time. That is until the Mia, played by Sophia Wilde, gets in contact with her dead mom, and can’t seem to shake of the visions of the dead, even when not using the hand.

In the end we learn two things:

1. Demons lie
2. Australians need more parental supervision

Review of Talk To Me

This is a really great movie. It is a rehashing of familiar demon possession tropes, but it has it’s own unique vibe. 

What hits hardest is the intense scenes of violence. I was squirming in my seat in a lot of scenes, and the movie holds on to those moments for a little longer than most. It’s like a more sadistic Evil Dead movie.

There is a juxtaposition of empathy and apathy throughout the movie that is really interesting. We have fleshed out characters that love and care for each other, however the teen group dynamic around these Seances are full of apathy in search of novelty. It’s the dynamic you see in internet videos that show people popping out cameras instead of helping someone in distress.

I would have liked a little more fleshing out of the father daughter relationship between Mia and her dad. This would have made their scenes more impactful and tragic. There was a lot unsaid, which isn’t a bad thing, but I think there should have been at least another scene or two showing their dynamic to explain why Mia wants to avoid him.

There are strong undertones of drug culture. The destructive yet addicting effects of the hand have parallels to casual hard drug use.

The ending is the perfect conclusion for the tone of the movie. It sticks with you as being dreadful, but still gives a strong resolution.

Score

9/10

Willy’s Wonderland can be found on Hulu right now, but who knows once this comes out.

Synopsis

Willy’s Wonderland follows a nameless cool guy in sunglasses played by Nic Cage as he stumbles into an intricate and deadly trap involving a defunct family restaurant. When he needs to pay for repairs to his bitchin Camero, he is offered an overnight janitor job at Willy’s Wonderland, an off-brand Chuck-e-cheese inhabited only by creepy animatronic puppets. In no time, these creepy animatronics attack Nic Cage, and he has to fight them off between soda breaks.

Review

Going into this movie, the consensus that I heard is that it is pretty much exactly what you expect. Dumb, with Nic Cage fighting animatronics. That is what it is.

The one thing that might be surprising is that Cage has zero dialogue. All of his acting is done through stoic hardened gazes and impromptu pinball celebration dances. Even without dialogue, Cage is really the only enjoyable part of this movie. Everything else feels like low effort filler.

The 1 hour 20 minute runtime feels like 4 hours at times. 

Watch Willy’s Wonderland

Buy or Rent on Amazon

Click here to Watch

It is very very very very repetitive. Once Cage is in the restaurant, it alternates between one one one attacks and soda breaks. The only change up comes when some teens appear to be fodder for the animatronics, and the backstory of the place is explained through the occasional expositional dialogue.

The most disappointing aspect of the movie is that the fight scenes seem so low effort, and they all seem to be nearly identical.

It’s not a great movie, but it is an interesting oddity. I just wish that the filmmakers went further than just the novelty of the premise.

Score

3/10

Does this Shutter make you shudder? I’ll see myself out…

Synopsis

After a night out with friends, a photographer named Tun and his girlfriend Jane are driving home when they accidentally hit a woman in the street. Instead of helping her, Tun convinces Jane to run to avoid responsibility. In the days after Tun starts to notice strange artifacts in his photos. They soon realize that this isn’t regular photography, its…G-G-G-Ghost photograph. As the photo ghost continues to haunt them, they try to unravel the mystery behind why she is haunting them. 

Review of Shutter (2004)

This is a pretty ok movie. It’s pretty run of the mill formula of “here’s a paranormal phenomena thats talked about on Discovery channel, lets wrap a movie around it.” It loses points for relying way too much on ghost pikaboo and disorientating fakeouts. I think they would have done better trying to scare the audience with jumpscares, and focused on the drama/mystery more.

The repetition of jump scares and creepy photos throughout the second act are only interrupted by confusing non-sequiter appearances of one of Tun’s friends, Tonn, asking desperately for photographs before his untimely death. It all makes sense in the end, but the pacing and editing were off so it feels like the first half of the movie crashed into a second movie halfway through.

The story behind the ghost is the most compelling part of the movie, and unfortunately they leave most of that until the third act. 

Overall it was an interesting story with pacing issues, but at an hour and thirty minute runtime, it never really outstayed its welcome.

Score

5/10

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is a fun, action/comedy that makes you wonder why it took so long to get a decent D&D movie made.

@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.

Synopsis

A charming thief with nothing to lose and everything to gain embarks on an epic quest to find a party of like-minded ne’er-do-wells who will help him obtain a long lost relic. 

This plucky adventure takes a turn for the worst when evil red wizards start taking over the Neverwinter.

Will our band of fun and quirky characters pull off the heist of a lifetime, or will they end up part of the army of the dead?

Review

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves takes a game that historically has been considered one of the dorkiest, nerdiest, most basement dwelling neckbeardian IP’s in the free world and attempts to make it appeal to general audiences.

Somehow, they did it! They made Dungeons and Dragons digestible for your jock boyfriends, your football dads, and your Christian mothers Boggle groups. 

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is a fun and easygoing romp through an incredible fantasy world that isn’t bogged down with over-ripe lore or too-serious stakes. 

It’s comedy chops are great, which really keeps the audience grounded almost as well as the fabulous casting. 

Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez, and Hugh Grant anchor the cast and keep everyone in lockstep for the duration. 

The pacing is appropriate and holds everyone’s attention by constantly showcasing some of the coolest fantasy world elements I’ve ever seen. 

Watch Dungeons and Dragons Honor Among Thieves

Buy or Rent on Amazon

Click Here to Watch

If Star Trek can have a resurgence there is absolutely no reason Dungeons and Dragons shouldn’t too. This IP has some of the most detailed and thorough content in the entire world, spanning the tabletop games, multiple book series, and dozens of video and card games. 

What we get in this movie is lots of fun, tons of great laughs, some astonishing eye candy, and the most generic of plots and stakes. 

Sometimes generic is alright, and this is the exact case that proves that point. No one wants a deadly serious Dungeons and Dragons movie. No one plays a deadly serious game of Dungeons and Dragons. 

It’s fine that the story and plot are generic and somewhat foggy. Will it win awards and be lauded throughout time? No, but it won’t go down as a failure and an embarrassment to nerds everywhere.

Score

7/10

Come on Barbie let’s go cry, oh oh no.

Synopsis

Barbie is about a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world

Life in plastic, it’s fantastic

That’s until she starts having intrusive thoughts of death, and her body undergoes changes that are new and disturbing to her.

Barbie soon finds herself on a journey leaving Barbieland behind and going into the real world where she tries to solve the mystery of her psychological and physical changes.

There is also Ken.

Review of Barbie

I partook in the cultural phenomena that was Barbenheimer on opening night, first watching the 3 hour long Oppenheimer biopic alone and then watching Barbie with my wife afterwards.

Oppenheimer was good and told an interesting story that conveyed an impressive amount of information even for a 3 hour long movie.

Barbie entered my head and has not left since I watched it the first time. I couldn’t stop thinking about it throughout the week. I yearned to watch certain scenes again, and consumed interviews with the cast and the director to process the overwhelming spectacle that was Barbie

I’ll stand here, without any irony or shame, and say that I think Barbie might be the best movie of the decade so far, and the best movie of the year, without a question.

Everyone involved was firing on all cylinders. Casting, acting, writing, directing, production design, music, choreography. All were perfect.

I was smiling ear to ear the whole time, except when I was crying. My wife and I were rolling from laughing throughout. It also goes surprisingly deep with existentialism and feminism.

I watched it again last night, and even after hearing criticisms about it being unfunny or that it was propaganda, the second viewing only cemented my opinion. 

Score

10/10