The Final Girl Files

After a solid week of God trying to stop them from releasing this episode, Taylor and Jemi finally kick off Hot Witch November and talk about 2015’s THE WITCH. Taylor says fuck you to Jeff Bezos, Jemi is shocked at a hot take, the ladies debate the meaning of the film’s ending, and all of us spend a good chunk of time collectively fawning over Anya Taylor-Joy. Follow us on Twitter at http://twitter.com/fgfpod, and on Instagram at https://instagram.com/fgfpod/. Intro music is "Hackers" by Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio, used under a Creative Commons license.

It's the most wonderful time of the year! Of course, we're talking about Halloween, and what better way to celebrate this most joyous of holidays than with what is most definitely our horniest episode yet? Seriously, neither of us know why this movie specifically brought out both of our inner monsterfucker. Our running theory is that it's the power of Halloween. We discuss our killer idea for an all-female reboot of this film, break down the bonkers and nonsensical plot threads, and audition to be Dracula's vampire brides. Happy Halloween, everybody! Thank you for listening!

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Intro music is "Hackers" by Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio, used under a Creative Commons license

In honor of HALLOWEEN KILLS hitting theaters this week, Taylor and Jemi dive into its predecessor: 2018’s HALLOWEEN. They discuss the inheritable nature of trauma, Laurie Strode’s character arc, and the importance of having annoying podcaster representation on the big screen. In addition they ask a question which has plagued humanity for ages: Do it stink?

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Intro music is "Hackers" by Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio, used under a Creative Commons license.

It’s a short episode this week (pre-Halloween, you know how it is with horror fans) as Taylor and Jemi dive into last year’s incredibly underrated UNHINGED. Is Russell Crowe just playing himself from a decade ago? What is the proper term for car choreography? How exactly does one #GetChiltoned? Should Russell Crowe have played Mark Hoffman in the SAW movies? And what does Juicy Pat have to do with all of this?

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Intro music is "Hackers" by Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio, used under a Creative Commons license.

Taylor’s sister Autumn is on this week to give the ladies a crash course in trashy Netflix horror as they discuss 2017’s CLINICAL, a movie so bonkers it occasionally renders all three hosts speechless. Is it okay to make fun of someone’s acting if they’ve done vehicular manslaughter? Should every therapist in this movie have their license taken away? Did the film’s antagonist plot to ruin a woman’s life just because he was in a silly goofy mood? How much of this movie even actually happened?

TRIGGER WARNING: The film discussed contains subject matter that may be triggering to some, including sexual abuse, suicide, and drug abuse. Listen at your own discretion.

Also, Vinessa Shaw played Alison in Hocus Pocus, not Emily. Another grievous error on our part. We need to start doing more research before we run our mouths.

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Intro music is "Hackers" by Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio, used under a Creative Commons license.

Taylor and Jemi spend an hour ragging on Disney’s THE HAUNTED MANSION, a movie which fills them both with the kind of rage only two Disney Adults™ are capable of. Is Jim Evers the world’s worst husband and father? Why does the mansion look like a 90s point and click game? Where in the ride would our hosts put an animatronic Eddie Murphy? Does the plot of this movie actually kind of make sense? These questions and more will be explored on this week’s episode of THE FINAL GIRL FILES.

Also, at one point we mistakenly state that SHREK came out in 2004. It was released in 2001. Sorry to all the SHREK-heads out there for our grievous error.

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Intro music is "Hackers" by Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio, used under a Creative Commons license.

Taylor and Jemi discuss THE INNOCENTS, a movie about a heroic governess trying desperately to save her charges from malevolent ghosts… or maybe about an insane governess who traumatizes her charges because she mistakenly believes them to be possessed. Either way, there’s a lot to dig into!

Discussion topics include forty year old virgins, an incredibly yucky kiss, the inexplicable presence of a tortoise, and sexy ghosts corrupting the youth. For added fun, take a shot every time one of our hosts says the word ‘ambiguous’.

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Intro music is "Hackers" by Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio, used under a Creative Commons license.

Taylor and Jemi are joined by their friend Ria to discuss CRIMSON PEAK, a movie that all three are almost positive was made for them specifically. Discussion topics include the ways this movie plays with (and plays into) the genre of the gothic, Tom Hiddleston almost scoring the role of Pennywise, the movie’s horrible novelization, and the fact that all gothic heroines are women who peg.

CONTENT WARNING: This episode features discussions of parental abuse and incest.

Follow us at http://twitter.com/fgfpod, and follow Ria at http://twitter.com/vcaudley and http://twitter.com/yarnofariadne! Also, check out her writing on Patreon (https://patreon.com/vcaudley) and Ko-Fi (https://ko-fi.com/vcaudley).

Intro music is "Hackers" by Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio, used under a Creative Commons license.

Taylor and Jemi have finally reached their first film in the Good For Her Cinematic Universe, a movie which has had the internet in dire straits arguing amongst each other since it came out. Thankfully we have the only correct opinion about it. Discussion topics include blatant Hårga apologism, our collective love for Florence Pugh, sowing discord among the straights, and how thankful we as a society are that Ari Aster uses filmmaking as therapy.

CONTENT WARNING: This episode includes discussions of suicide and sexual assault.

Follow us on Twitter at http://twitter.com/fgfpod!

Intro music is "Hackers" by Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio, used under a Creative Commons license.

Taylor and Jemi talk about one of Taylor's very favorite movies, a film where you know stuff's about to get weird when the bi lighting shows up, and that's only the beginning. Discussion topics include anti-dad propaganda, Stephen King Dialogue™, Adrienne Barbeau’s milf status, and the incredibly nasté special effects (we say ‘nasty’ a lot). Also, Taylor goes on a mildly unhinged rant about how more leading men in movies should be hairy, so enjoy that one.

Please for the love of God, email us at [email protected] if you have any information on Shoobie Doobie Moon. We need it. You can also follow us on Twitter @fgfpod, but the Shoobie Doobie Moon thing is more important.

Intro music is "Hackers" by Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio, used under a Creative Commons license.

CREEPSHOW is directed by George Romero, and written by Stephen King. It stars an ensemble cast including E.G. Marshall, Leslie Nielsen, and Adrienne Barbeau, and is distributed by Warner Bros.