Episode 478- Zombieland (2009)
Released on 06/03/2024
In this week's episode, we're living through yet another zombie apocalypse with the 2009 horror comedy "Zombieland." Special topics for your consideration include: a fitting tribute to an American treasure, controversial takes on snack cakes, our feelings on Columbus (both the city and the person), keeping up one's everyday makeup routine during the apocalypse, and the delights of Woody Harrelson.Â
Zombies! We've covered so many zombie movies that I can't list them all here, so maybe just go scope out "Return of the Living Dead" (Episode 17) and "Return of the Return of the Living Dead" (Episode 339) where I thought it was possible that maybe I was too hard on it the first time, so we gave it another go.Â
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From the Patreon Files- Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
Released on 05/27/2024
Hey EMTs, Allen and I have always been pretty open about our mental health with you, and unfortunately this week we just were not in the headspace to make jokes about "The Sacrament," the really very good 2013 Ti West film about the Jonestown massacre. We recorded about 18 minutes of content and they were shit; we tried eating Oreos and even that didn't help. Sometimes things just have to hit the cutting room floor. Don't come for us.Â
All that being said, we hope you enjoy this episode from our action movie Patreon-only podcast covering "Mad Max: Fury Road" and we'll be back on the main cast again next week with "Zombieland."
Oh! and "The Sacrament" is a 9 from both of us, Sour Patch Kids Oreos are an absolute 0. Good lord.Â
Episode 477 - FearDotCom (2003)
Released on 05/20/2024
Katie is on vacation so you get a rare Allen write up. This week's movie a low for a time known as a horror deadzone. But we make the most of it and bring you over an hour of yuck yucks.Â
Special topics include: being a poor man's Ethan Hawke. Why is it so dark? Why is it so wet? Unwanted advertisements. When a movie tried to be every other movie.
You know where to find us. Tell your friends. Thank you all for being the best. We truly appreciate you all.Â
Episode 476- Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
Released on 05/13/2024
In this week's episode, we're visiting arguably one of the worst eras of horror with the 2003 crossover movie "Freddy vs. Jason." Special topics for your consideration include: a new patron saint of Werewolf Ambulance, quibbling with a quippy villain, stupid characters being utterly unable to fly under the radar, Jason's regrets when he thinks about his past, and another absolutely lovely voicemail.
My god, we've done so many of these movies. Friday the 13th: Episodes 32,117,141, 259, 277, and 449. A Nightmare on Elm Street: 4, 121, 242, 337, and 362. Knock yerselves out.
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Episode 475- Uncle Peckerhead (2020)
Released on 05/06/2024
In this week's episode, we reminisce about our times as punks on the road in the 2020 horror comedy "Uncle Peckerhead." Special topics for your consideration include: a lot of tour stories, poor band to band etiquette, dreaming about playing with Queef Queens, a stellar voicemail, and revisiting the crucible that formed our real-life friendship (a grown ass man booing a 22 year old woman. It all worked out, obvs!)
Want to hear about more punks that aren't us? Try Episode 292- "Green Room."
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Episode 474- Late Night with the Devil (2024)
Released on 04/29/2024
In this week's episode, we're discussing a brand-new film that has had the internet abuzz-- 2024's "Late Night with the Devil." Special topics for your consideration include: Katie's great new ideas for a one woman show along with some new employment opportunities, Allen dropping knowledge on ye olde television shows, loosely factual historical nonsense, and a demon whose name might be a demon and miiiight be a medication for lactose intolerance.Â
Do you like modern horror movies that are set in the 1970s (I know, kind of grasping at straws here because this movie is fairly dissimilar to most of the other ones we've covered)? You may enjoy Episode 96- "The Conjuring," Episode 175- "House of 1000 Corpses," Episode 268- "The Love Witch," Episode 282- "The Amityville Horror" (Ryan Reynolds version), Episode 286- "Knife + Heart," Episode 394- "Black Phone," and Episode 396- "X."
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Episode 473- Drag Me to Hell (2009)
Released on 04/22/2024
In this week's episode, by popular demand, we're discussing the 2009 Sam Raimi supernatural morality tale "Drag Me to Hell." Special topics for your consideration include: making the tough decisions, gumming a baby, PROFESSOR Justin Long, heavy puking, and Pennsylvania snacks.
We have watched a lot of bad things happen to Justin Long; you can catch him in Episode 181- "Tusk" and Episode 403- "Barbarian."
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Episode 472 - Conquest (1983)
Released on 04/15/2024
In this week's episode, we check in with our friend and yours but mostly Allen's, Lucio Fulci, and his 1983 sword-and-sandal horror film "Conquest." Holy ghost. Special topics for your consideration include: the most Vaseline you've ever seen, cute lil baby lapdog werewolves, eating brains through a slit in a mask (like you do), laser arrows, learning to love and be loved, and the grossest thing since maggot phone.
LUCIO! We love the man so much, we put him on a semi-insulting t-shirt featuring the artwork of the inimitable Justin Gray (get it at https://www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance)
Even if you don't want that-- and why would you not?-- you can still listen to all our Fulci episodes from the past: Episode 72- "The Beyond," Episode 227- "Zombi 2," Episode 281- "City of the Living Dead," and Episode 388- "The House by the Cemetery."
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Episode 471- Scarecrows (1988)
Released on 04/08/2024
In this week's episode, we're going back to a question that has haunted me for years: did I actually see a good movie about scarecrows years ago, or was it all a dream? A number of you have suggested that it might be the 1988 film "Scarecrows," so here we are. Special topics for your consideration include: bad piloting, bad paramilitary-ing, bad locations, bad plans, good hair, good scarecrows, and your future World Series-winning Pittsburgh Pirates, obviously.Â
This is the fourth entry into our hunt for THE scarecrow movie: the others are Episode 237- "Scarecrow" (this is a SyFy channel original film and hoo boy that was a mistake), Episode 334- "Husk," and Episode 386- "Dark Night of the Scarecrow."
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Episode 470- The 13th Warrior (1999)
Released on 04/01/2024
In this week's episode, IT'S ALLEN'S BIRTHDAY and it's a biggie, so we're letting him pick whatever he wants. We'll be discussing the 1999 intersection of many of his interests, "The 13th Warrior." Special topics for your consideration include: what makes a good D&D movie, a very brief re-telling of "Beowulf," the Omar Sharif cool factor, religious loopholes, and some Viking lore.Â
I legitimately can't think of another movie we've done to compare to this one, so I maybe we'll go with the literature angle: Episode 110- "Bram Stoker's Dracula."
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