The Death Scene Artist

M_____ is dying of cancer. Only thirty-two, an extra with a meagre list of credits to their name and afraid of being forgotten, M_____ starts recounting the strange, fantastic and ultimately tragic path of their love affair with the world’s greatest living "redshirt" – a man who has died or appeared dead in nearly eight hundred film and television roles.In a compelling narrative of blog entries interspersed with film script excerpts, The Death Scene Artist immerses readers in a three-act surrealist exploration of the obsessive fault-finding of body dysmorphia and the dangerous desires of a man who has lived several hundred half-minute lives without having ever experienced his own.

Quill & Quire

"The novel has the tinge of a scandalous revenge story, which adds to its appeal, as does some incisive commentary about the nature of unrequited love and crises of body, gender, and personal identity."

Winnipeg Free Press

"Violent and grotesque, this book is not for the squeamish. [T]here is a lot for fans or topical horror and dark comedy. Wilmot clearly has something to say here about our culture’s obsession with celebrity and our desire to overshare online, as well as gender identity and loneliness."

University of Toronto Quarterly

"Andrew Wilmot’s The Death Scene Artist is unlike anything you’ve ever read. From a structural perspective, the novel is a surrealist experiment in metaphor. . . . A fun novel that satirizes Hollywood clichés."

From the Back Cover

"From the jaw-dropping opening pages when we meet a protagonist perusing their remarkable inventory of 'outfits,' up to the very last page, this novel kept me riveted. This is a wonderful book, surreal, disturbing and liberating in the very best way." - Suzette Mayr, author of Monoceros"Wilmot brings a sensually complete sense of reality to the unreal worlds of on- and off-screen Hollywood. Wilmot's serious play with language and with form makes The Death Scene Artist a hypnotic, surprising novel that doesn?t sacrifice emotion for irony." - Nathan Ripley, author of Find You in the DarkM_____ is dying of cancer. Only thirty-two, an extra with a meagre list of credits to their name and afraid of being forgotten, M_____ starts recounting the strange, fantastic and ultimately tragic path of their love affair with the world?s greatest living "redshirt" - a man who has died or appeared dead in nearly eight hundred film and television roles.In a compelling narrative of blog entries interspersed with film script excerpts, The Death Scene Artist immerses readers in a three-act surrealist exploration of the obsessive fault-finding of body dysmorphia and the dangerous desires of a man who has lived several hundred half-minute lives without having ever experienced his own.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

The Death Scene ArtistA NovelBy Andrew WilmotWolsak and Wynn PublishersCopyright © 2018 Andrew WilmotAll rights reserved.ISBN: 978-1-928088-71-4ContentsCover, About This Book, Praise for The Death Scene Artist, Title Page, Epigraph, Contents, 1. A Single Thread, Act I, 2. The Scorpion and the Frog, 3. First Impressions, 4. No One Special, 5. Truth in Advertising: Me, Myself and I, 6. A War to Remember, 7. If Only for a Moment, 8. "Futures Are for the Weak", 9. The Buddy Holly Incident, 10. The Morning After, 11. Donald Davies's Dick, 12. Apocalypse Tomorrow, 13. From One Transient to Another, Act II, 14. Zeitgeist, 15. Commitment, 16. Zero Chance, Zero Escape, 17. The Best Stories Bleed Real Blood, 18. Tragicomedy, 19. A Shark in Snake's Clothing, 20. Venom, 21. Because Dying's a Bitch, That's Why, 22. E-X-P-L-O-D-E., 23. What Happens in Vegas ..., 24. The Sum of One's Life, 25. Bonnie and Clyde Redux, 26. Bonnie and Clyde Redux, Part II, 27. That Time You Killed Me and I Didn't Die, 28. Remembering, Act III, 29. On the Move, 30. Recovery, 31. The Dead Came Knocking, 32. All That Viscera Come to the Surface, 33. The Buddy Holly Incident, 34. Natural Born Disasters, 35. The Scorpion and the Frog, 36. The Army at the Galaxy Drive-In, 37. Rewriting the Past, 38. Letting Go, 39. Rethinking the Future, 40. Remembering What Was, Acknowledgements, About the Author, CHAPTER 1A Single ThreadPosted: 11/08/2013I never know who to wear. It doesn't matter the situation. When I glance inside my closet it's like nothing fits – like I've amassed an entire wardrobe of impractical uses and pointless endeavours. I often don't know what I was thinking – in what world did I imagine I'd have occasion for an Italian restauranteur with such calloused hands? Or a pale, waiflike artist, a trust-fund baby from SoHo whose fingertips and nails are permanently crusted with oil paint? Or a tall, Black lifestyle and boudoir photographer from just outside of Richmond, Virginia?Staring at the outfits at my disposal, one hand on the pronounced bone of my hip, my mind stumbles back to the very beginning of this mess. It felt so silly then, to be so ... excited, I guess. Giddy. Ecstatic. Pulsating with energy and uncertainty, but not in a bad way, not with any degree of anxiety.Which is all the fucking dumber in retrospect. But hindsight's a motherfucker. Almost as much as you were.Few outfits still remain in my wardrobe, hand-stitched composites hung in protective plastic sheaths like the sort you get from the dry cleaner. I take them out every other day and lay them on the floor of my 350-square-foot one-room cockroach hostel, and gently rub them down with a solution of salt and lime to preserve them, keep them pliant, keep them from smelling of dismemberment. Fix whatever I can – wear and tear, gaps where the threading has come loose. Every now and then I'm forced to dig into the scraps I keep soaking in a Tupperware container in the fridge, fishing out a patch of human skin of as similar a tone and texture as possible, though my options are increasingly limited – it's been some time since I've stocked up on swatches, or for that matter full sleeves, and supplies are running low. The work seems more effort now than it ever used to be. I suppose that's what happens when you get accustomed to doing things not on your fucking own.Will anyone read this? If I hit post, will this leave any trace or imprint upon the world? If I finish this bottle of Xanax, right now, will I slip into a coma and die before finding out? Inquiring minds, and all that shit.Fuck it, I'm ready. I'm jumping and you're coming with me, even if I have to tie a goddamn rope around your neck. We can hit bottom together, bleed, together, until there's nothing left. Because this isn't just my story to tell, and I'm absolutely, for-fucking-real, not doing this on my own.CHAPTER 22. The Scorpion and the FrogPosted: 11/09/2013COLD OPEN ON BLACK, THE SOUND OF TIRES SCREECHING TO A HALT. THE BRIEF ENSUING SILENCE IS BROKEN BY MUFFLED SCREAMS AND THE DULL THUD OF A FIST PUNCHING THE INSIDE OF A CAR'S TRUNK.MALORIE (V.O.)You died the day we met.CUT TO:EXT: ABANDONED SHIPPING YARD -- NIGHTCHARLIE ELLINGTON -- AKA "CHARLIE THE CHIN" -- (45-year-old White male) is pulled forcefully from the trunk of a LATE-MODEL BUICK CENTURY and thrown onto the rain-soaked ground. He lands hard on his hands and knees, WINCES. He looks up at his assailant, a tall, outhouse-wide brick of a human named MICKEY O' (late-40s White male).MALORIE (V.O.)I remember it frame for frame.(Beat)We had cappuccinos and split a raspberry croissant. You laughed when I smiled and showed two rows of seed-marked teeth. If Chiclets could have freckles, you said. God, it was corny -- but cute, definitely cute. That was one of your gifts, you know; you didn't even have to try -- charm poured out of you like water off a duck's back.CHARLIE raises his hands up to his face. They're shaking, wet, covered in dirt from where he'd landed on the ground.CHARLIEI didn't do it, Mick! I ain't no stoolie, goddamnit! I swear on my grandmother's grave.MALORIE (V.O.)God rest her arthritic Irish soul.CHARLIE starts to weep openly. He drops his face into his filthy hands.MICKEY steps in front of CHARLIE. He calmly slips a BLACK LEATHER GLOVE over each hand before reaching around to his back and pulling a HANDGUN from his waistband.From around the corner of a nearby WAREHOUSE, MALORIE MARCELLO (32-year-old White female) watches as MICKEY screws a SUPPRESSOR to the end of his HANDGUN and presses it against the right side of CHARLIE'S head.MALORIE (V.O.)Charlie the Chin -- that was what they called you, back when you were still on the up and up, back before it all came crashing down around you like a house of straw. It wasn't your fault -- you didn't know those bills were marked. You weren't no stoolie, you cried again. No double-crosser, no minuteman's wanker. You were a good man. An honest man. A Family man -capital F, the Family, the one you don't fuck with.MICKEY shakes his head. He moves the HANDGUN down, points it instead at CHARLIE'S knee. He FIRES. CHARLIE SCREAMS and falls over on one side, starts writhing in place. Without saying anything, MICKEY walks around to the other side of CHARLIE and points the HANDGUN at CHARLIE'S left arm. He FIRES again. CHARLIE'S SCREAMS INTENSIFY as he flops around on the ground in pain.MALORIE (V.O.)Mickey, that Protestant son of a bitch, dressed up and down from the sales racks of a Big & Tall, he pulled out a .45 and shot you in the knee; blood, bone and muscle turned to confetti, sprayed all over the concrete. He shot you a second time, in the arm -- straight through the bicep.(Beat)I saw the pity in Mickey's eyes as he stared down at you, watching as you slowly bled to death from your wounds. I knew it then, sure as I knew anything: he was going to give you one last chance to earn your wings.MICKEY steps back, moving in front of CHARLIE, and crouches down to face him. He holds the HANDGUN carelessly between his knees.MICKEYC'mon, Chin, take the righteous path here. Admit what you did. Accountability -- ever'thing's about accountability.CHARLIE musters his remaining strength and raises his head. He stares menacingly at MICKEY. Says nothing.MICKEY stands back up and once more points the HANDGUN at the right side of CHARLIE'S head. He FIRES a final shot and CHARLIE'S body falls limp. BLOOD pools from his mouth.Out of sight of MICKEY, MALORIE clamps both hands over her mouth and retreats back around the far side of the WAREHOUSE.MALORIE (V.O.)Blood flowed out of you like red paint staining your white button-up, caulking the cracks in the pavement with straight lines and ninety-degree turns.(Beat)I'd watched your life -- your light -- extinguished in less time than it took to shake someone's hand. It wasn't some stretched out life-before-your-eyes thing you hear people talking about when they drum up the event, making it into something big, into something other than shit. You didn't beg, break or even begin to crack. You took it like the man you were, the man I fell in love with.(Beat)It was over before it had even begun, and all I could think about, all I had left, was what it felt like last night when you kissed me.CUT TO:INT: MARCELLO MANOR / FOYER (FLASHBACK) -- NIGHTMALORIE, wearing a midnight blue sequin dress, is standing at the top of the stairs looking down into the foyer as a half-dozen men in black and grey suits file into the dining room.The last man left in the foyer, CHARLIE, pauses, waiting until the rest of the group has disappeared into the dining room before darting up the stairs, careful not to make a sound.At the top of the stairs, CHARLIE takes MALORIE by the arm and leads her to the far end of the darkened hallway.CHARLIE(Whispers)You gotta get gone, babe, before this whole thing goes sideways.MALORIE (V.O.)Your accent was just a little bit off, slipping between "heritage" and "new world." I smiled nervously, not wanting you to know that I could see, clearly, the cliffs of your ability.CHARLIE(Whispers)Mickey can't know about us. Goddamn neanderthal can't learn we've been together. I don't know what he'll do to either one of us if he finds out.CHARLIE pulls MALORIE in close and they KISS. It lasts for several seconds and then he pulls away, leaving her alone in the upstairs hallway. He hurries downstairs, to rejoin the others in the dining room.MALORIE (V.O.)I didn't listen when you told me to run. That wasn't my job -- it wasn't what was on the page. I was supposed to stand up straight, back arched, quarter-turn to the camera, waiting for the sky-splitting crack of the first shot. Right then, upon hearing it, a single tear rolled down my face. I waited, hoping that by the time the second and third shots had been fired they would have gotten what they needed and I wouldn't have to live through this again.CUT TO:EXT: ABANDONED SHIPPING YARD -- NIGHTMICKEY reaches out with his foot and NUDGES CHARLIE'S body. He KICKS him in the ribs, once, just to be sure that CHARLIE is dead. His hand is still tightly wrapped around the HANDGUN.MALORIE (V.O.)Hold -- one hippopotamus.CHAPTER 3First ImpressionsPosted: 11/10/2013"Cut. All right, people, let's run it again."The illusion of our time together was ruptured by a sudden swarm of bodies crowding onto the set, buzzing around one another with practised urgency. I watched in astonishment at how in just minutes they had pulled you off the ground, given you a new shirt, a new suit jacket, reapplied your makeup and tussled your short, dark brown hair just right, just like it was before Dwayne – Mickey – first pulled you from the cramped trunk of the car. They wiped the blood from your cheek, your lips, your Norman Rockwell chin. They straightened you out, gave you some water, made you look all new again. In the rush to reset the stage for the next take, you were, however briefly, the most important person in their world – their bend-over-backward-to-make-him-look-perfect superstar.I watched as you scrambled out from the cluster of hands picking at you, scuffing your clothes to make it look like you'd actually been in a fight."Did you get it?" you asked eagerly. "How'd it look?"Twenty feet away, standing next to a black folding chair with his name stitched in block letters across the back, the director, a short man with grey sideburns poking out from beneath his signature Yankees baseball cap, was animatedly discussing changing the angle of the shot for the next take with his DP – director of photography."How was it?" you asked again, approaching from behind.The director turned around, stared at you for a second or two longer than he would have if he'd remembered your name. His discomfort was obvious in the vacant way he scratched the three-day growth on his chin, like I'd seen him do – like he always did – when he was trying to think of a way to end a conversation before it had even begun."Good," the director said at last. "Real good. Real, real good." It was perfunctory, dismissive, like he was swatting away a fly. "We're going to run it again, though. This time, I need to see more ... oomph.""Oomph?"That's right, Charlie the Chin. Oomph. Excitement. Passion."Feeling," the director said. "Do it ... do it for love. You're going down" – he turned his head and pointed – "for her. Remember that."You glanced over to me and nodded, knowing, right then and there, precisely what it was you had to embody – what you had to sell to your audience: actual love, or your closest possible approximation. You turned back around, but the director had walked away and was already deeply engrossed in another much more interesting conversation. I saw it then for the first time: the almost imperceptible twinge of panic brewing behind your eyes, and in the way you nervously rolled your head and loosened up by shaking your hands and arms, ragdolling like you were taking the stage in a first-year acting class. I'd seen others on different sets exhibit such discomfort once or twice before, but never someone with as many credits to their name as you. It was evident from the way you tried to brush off the director's avoidance as nothing special, nothing uniquely targeted: you wanted more than he'd given you – more specifics, more purpose – because you wanted to get it right.I think it was the length of it – the role – that made you nervous. I didn't realize it at the time, but now, so long after the fact, it couldn't be more obvious. The part amounted to fifteen, maybe sixteen pages, flashbacks included, but it was more than you'd had by this point in your career. Likely more than you'd ever wanted. I'm positive it wasn't you who'd sought out a role of that size, but that it was someone in your camp who had pushed, had really fought for you to take on something new, to step outside your career-long comfort zone and be something more, for a change, than just another corpse. I mean, still eventually a corpse, just not, you know, right away. Someone, perhaps, with a salt-and-pepper perm, bright pink Dolce & Gabbana corset eyeglasses, and who was already reeking of wine by one-thirty in the afternoon.But you did it. You sucked it up and gave Mister Perennially-Snubbed-for-Best-Director everything you had.I never told you this when we were together, but I always admired how you never once brought your ego onto the set. You were there to work and that was all there was to it. There were some, yes, who mistook your commitment for hubris or even arrogance, but in time I saw beyond their first impressions of you. There were no grudges in your world, no directors you couldn't stomach. Just total commitment to your craft.While you busied yourself getting back into the proper headspace, I began to feel it again, a terrible itch on the back of my hand, just beneath the surface. I started to scratch, massaging the skin covering my knuckles, kneading the flesh of the slightly too large body sleeve. It was hot inside the skin, but I tried my best to ignore it, to keep my hands away from my face and the makeup that had been so carefully applied by a timid mouse of a girl wearing a plastic Hello Kitty hair band, which pulled her long, blond hair back and over her ears. When I first saw her I wanted to reach out and pull out the band, to let her hair fall down over her face. There was something there, something held back, held in. I saw it in how she looked at me while she worked, her almond-shaped eyes a focused, steaming mix of longing and bottled ferocity, that she'd wanted to be something more than what she'd amounted to – she was a hopeful, maybe-one-day movie star who'd been reduced to methodically reapplying layers of blush and mascara between takes. Though I couldn't tell you her name or anything about her, I felt right away as if I knew all the parts to her story, because in reality it was no different than yours, mine or any other."Don't forget," the director said to you as he took his seat. "You love Malorie. You're ready to die for her."And you would, again and again, until they got it right."I'm ready," you said, energetically snapping your head to one side, then the other – light pops both times. Hands on your thighs, deep breath, you crawled back into the Buick's trunk."Places," said the director. "And, action!"And I watched for another three hours and forty-five minutes as you screamed and bled out and died, over and over again.CHAPTER 4No One SpecialPosted: 11/12/2013The very last thing I expected when flipping channels this past Friday evening was for you to come crashing into my life again. But there you were, on my television screen, all tuxed out and walking a red carpet for a premiere somewhere — North Hollywood, from the looks of it. You appeared sheepish, looking around uncomfortably with your hands stuffed in your pockets, like you desperately wanted to make a run for it as you were sandwiched impossibly between Eden Grant from Access Hollywood and multiple-award-nominated filmmaker Andreas Rain. Cameras flashed an electrical storm. I watched as you put a hand up over your eyes, to shield them, while your co-stars filed into the theatre."I'm here with Director Andreas Rain at the premiere of his new film, Child of Honour," Eden said to the camera, half-shouting above the cries of the gathered crowd. "Andreas, two years ago your film Only the Dead Know, both a critical and commercial success, was left out of the running for Best Picture at the Academy Awards — a glaring oversight to many. What do you think your chances are of Child of Honour landing a coveted spot on next year's ballot?" (Continues...)Excerpted from The Death Scene Artist by Andrew Wilmot. Copyright © 2018 Andrew Wilmot. Excerpted by permission of Wolsak and Wynn Publishers. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

About the Author

Andrew Wilmot is a writer, editor and painter living in Toronto, ON. They hold a BFA in Visual Arts (with a minor in Film and Video Studies) and a master’s degree in Publishing, both from Simon Fraser University. They have won awards for screenwriting and short fiction, with credits including Found Press, The Singularity, Glittership, Turn to Ash, Augur and the anthologies Those Who Makes Us: Canadian Creature, Myth, and Monster Stories and Restless: An Anthology of Ghost Stories, Dark Fantasy, and Creepy Tales. As an editor, they've worked with Drawn & Quarterly, ChiZine Publications, Broken River Books, ARP Books, Playwrights Canada Press, Freehand Books, Wolsak & Wynn and NeWest Press, and are a freelance academic editor specializing in matters of body dysmorphia and eating disorders. Books they've worked on have taken home multiple awards from the Sunburst Awards, the Eisner Awards and, most recently, the Shirley Jackson Awards. They are also co-publisher and co-EIC of the online magazine Anathema: Spec from the Margins. The Death Scene Artist is their first novel. Find them online at: andrewwilmot.ca and anathemaspec.tumblr.com.

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