My Take Away Vampire

A VERY different vampire story“I recommend reading this amusing story, especially if you laugh at the zany vampire craze.”“A great mix of classic vampire lour and modern pop culture, this is a great short story.”“This was a book that was a lot of fun to read.”Although Agatha Grace is over three hundred years old, it certainly doesn’t mean that she can’t adapt and fit into ugly post-industrial small-town suburbia.Partial to the delights that an evening at McDonald’s often serves her, she waits at her favorite dimly lit corner table – for her kind of vampire takeaway.Being your typical urban vampire, this means that her fare isn’t up in bright lights on the menu above the cashiers. However, she usually finds exactly what she is looking for.Her teenage beauty, long blonde hair, and ice-blue eyes are a temptation very few adorable young men can resist.After a long and predictable vampiric existence, trouble is now afoot for Agatha Grace, however.Red-headed, freckled, and occasionally a little slow on the uptake, young Reggie stumbles into Agatha’s predictability and turns it on its head as he is struck by his first real dose of love at first sight.Add the over-protective, rhyming ghost of a dead poet, a snarling black wolf, some cops, and Agatha’s preference for the 1980s fashion of mini-skirts, satin halter neck tops, and knotted white blouses, things just may go awry, which of course they do.Along with a couple of untimely and unfortunate deaths and Reggie’s complete misunderstanding of anything that’s going on, the awry becomes a dead certainty.Enjoy My Take Away Vampire. A very different, tasty little comedy vampire tale, but still with a little bite!

About the Author

Derek Haines is an author of quite a number of books, however, he spends most of his time blogging, making technology go horribly wrong, and being a rather senior ESL English teacher.   Born in Australia, but now living in Switzerland with his wife and his black Cocker Spaniel, he passes many hours, trying to make technology work again, after inadvertently breaking it. It's a painful process, yet it's such an effective self-study method in acquiring new technological skills.   As I'm a writer - I can change adroitly from the third person into the first person, and say that I love what I do and where I live, and also, that I am a Douglas Adams fanatic, bordering on a tragic. So much so, that by some spooky coincidence, my street address is 42. That's so much more impressive than simply owning a towel and having ready access to peanuts and beer.   However, peanuts and beer are extremely important, as they provide essential sustenance during my bouts of obsessive writing, which although rare, usually take place in a horizontal position. I should mention here that I am very fond of acronyms, anagrams, allegories and alliteration, also.   In addition, I quite like commas. The Oxford type, or otherwise. However, quite perversely, I am not enamoured by quotation marks. I use them, singularly if possible, but even then, only under sufferance. As for semicolons; who really knows how to use them?   Aside from my never-ending punctuation conundrums, I enjoy life, good food, wine, beer, and I take each day as it comes - thankfully.

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