Paradox

This is Gorman's darkest and most powerfully human novel to date. He intentionally neglects to name the city that serves as the setting for this disturbing tale of a man who is trying to rid the streets of sin. The man sees himself as an agent of God. But the cops view him as a vicious serial killer. He thinks he is haunted by spirits, mostly those of his victims. And these ghosts claim to represent either God or Satan as they encourage him to continue his murder spree. The story also focuses on a dysfunctional family. For some reason, the killer is always near as they try to sort out their many problems.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

ParadoxBy Donald GormanAuthorHouseCopyright © 2009 Donald GormanAll right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4389-9030-9ContentsBook One - Crave....................................1Chapter 1 - Mistakes................................3Chapter 2 - Treachery...............................4Chapter 3 - Debauchery..............................50Chapter 4 - Emotional Decay.........................69Chapter 5 - Creepy Feeling..........................95Book Two - Covet....................................123Chapter 6 - Lust....................................125Chapter 7 - Lucifer.................................147Chapter 8 - Nasty Habits............................173Chapter 9 - Aggressive..............................192Chapter 10 - Ultimate Sin...........................211Book Three - Yearn..................................237Chapter 11 - Taunt Me No Longer.....................239Chapter 12 - Insanity...............................258Chapter 13 - Vengeance..............................286Chapter 14 - Cold and Heartless.....................321Chapter OneMistakes The night seemed deeper and richer this far off the ground. The darkness looked blacker, or more concentrated. It was as if you were closer to the true center of darkness up here, away from the chaos on the streets below. A trifling breeze blew by. There was a certain chill in the air. She shivered as she turned away from humanity and all its blatant desolation. Not that you couldn't hear the sounds reaching up from so far beneath her. Car horns. Shouting voices. Anger. People who were all more important than everyone around them. They demanded so much attention. And each and every one of them really thought they actually deserved it. How sad. How pathetic. The breeze kicked up again, just for the joy of making her shiver. And as it toyed with her long, flimsy shawl, she lit another cigarette. She shielded the flame from the lighter with her hand. She drew the smoke into her lungs. Then she exhaled, offering a gray cloud up to the wind which carried it away. "Will you please come inside so we can discuss this?" he asked. She glanced over at the door where he was standing. She quickly turned away before any misapprehension of interest could be given. "There's nothing to talk about." "Come on, Cassandra," he said. "I know you're angry. You have every right. But we need to talk about this." "Why, Mark?" she asked. "What can you possibly say?" "Jesus, Cassandra," he said. "You've been out on this balcony for over twenty minutes now. Will you come inside? I understand you're angry. I don't blame you ..." "You don't blame me, Mark?" she scoffed. "You sleep with my sister and you don't blame me for being angry? I have your permission, do I? Gee, thanks! That's awfully big of you." "I didn't mean it like that," he said. "It was an accident, for God's sake! Now come inside and talk to me. It's cold out here." "You think it's cold?" she asked. "That's funny. I think it's fine out here. In fact, I'm quite comfortable." "Will you please stop?" he asked. "I can see the goosebumps on your arms from here. You must be freezing." "I told you I'm fine," she repeated. "I like it out here. I want to stay out here for a while. Besides, I have nothing to say to you, Mark. Why don't you just go inside and leave me alone? If you need something to do, maybe you can go find some new slut to cheat on me with." "Oh, for Christ's sake!" he rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry already! I'm sorry! How many times do I have to say it? It was an accident! It was a mistake! It was a moment of weakness and it never should have happened! I was wrong! I promise I'll make it up to you. Now will you please come inside?" "Is it that easy for you, Mark?" she asked. "You're sorry? It was a mistake? And now it's all over and I'm supposed to forgive you? Would it be that easy if I had been the one who cheated? If I had gone off and fucked some guy, could I just say, `I'm sorry, it was a mistake' and you would just forget the whole thing?" "Of course not," he declared. "I'm not saying you have to just forgive me right away. But you can at least come in and talk to me about it. Nothing will get solved by running away and refusing to talk to me." "And now I have to go to my mother's Memorial Day picnic and face that little whore!" she snipped. "This ought to be fantastic! Both of you will be there: my cheating husband and my sister the skank! What could be better? Do you two plan on slipping off somewhere private, or can you control yourselves for an entire day?" "Will you stop it, Cassandra?" "I can't talk right now." "Look," he tried to calmly explain. "Stephanie and I both had the same problem. We were both lonely. Her husband is never around. Just like you, Trey always buries himself in his work." "I said I'm not ready to talk to you yet!" she shouted with her back to him. She stared out into the darkness. After a pause, she continued in a more civil tone. "I can't even look at you right now, you bastard! I need some air. Just go inside and get out of my sight! I'll come in when I'm damned good and ready." "Fine!" he dismissed her with an exasperated wave of his arm. "Do what you want! When you're ready to grow up and discuss this like an adult, I'll be inside." She could hear him close the glass door to the balcony behind him. Another breeze blew by. She shivered against the chill. Somehow, it seemed even darker outside. And it amazed her to think how clearly she could hear the sounds of the street so far below her. She needed another cigarette. She took the pack out of her purse. She put the filter to her lips. Again she sheltered the flame from her lighter with her hand. The flame flailed and protested against the wind. However, it ultimately performed its necessary purpose. She took a drag as tears flooded her eyes. The cigarette felt good. But it could not hold back a merciless attack of the sobs. She surrendered to the tears as she cried into her hands. And after a minute, the lit cigarette slipped from her fingers. It took a header off the balcony and fell to its death to the sidewalk ten stories below. * * * He hated this part of town. It was too congested, too populated. There was a certain feeling in the air. A person could almost smell the sleaze and the filth! There were buildings and businesses that promoted and inspired decadence and moral decay. This was a very unclean, unholy place! He knew this. Yet, the incident from the previous night had shocked him. It caught him off guard. He'd reacted poorly. He hadn't known how to respond. That had changed, however. Since then, he'd been instructed. Now he knew what he had to do. The streets were dark. So dark! Neon lights, glitz and depravity could not hide that fact. These sinners could not find sanctuary in the very callousness of their sins! He drove slowly. These sights looked familiar. He was almost there. And he so hoped he would find that woman. That same woman from before ... He stopped at a traffic light. He turned his head to the right. The enticements on the street corner caught his attention. The man in the passenger seat startled him. "Dad!" he gasped. "How did you ...?" "I've been here all along, my son," Dad said. "No you weren't," he argued. "I was alone in this car! In fact, I still am! You're not really here! You can't be!" "Now, son. Is that any way to talk to your father?" "You're not my father!" he snapped. "My father is ... he's dead! I know he is! I was at the funeral!" "You're taking this all way too seriously, son," Dad said. "There's no need to get excited. This girl you seek. You've seen her before. On this street corner as well as in your dreams." "Don't talk to me, you agent of evil!" he warned. "I won't listen!" "I know you want her," Dad said. "It's only natural. Lust is a natural and purely human emotion. There's nothing wrong with it." "Shut up!" he shouted. "You are not my father! I know who you are! You are The Devil himself! Why do you taunt me?" "Calm down," Dad said in a soothing voice. "I'm only trying to reassure you that it is perfectly natural to want this girl. It's okay to do this." "Leave me, Satan!" he growled. "You vile beast! The very fact that you choose to take the form of my father in order to goad me into depravity proves what a despicable, loathsome demon you really are!" "I'm only trying to help you, my son." "Leave me, Satan!" "Very well." The driver blinked a few times. He could still hear the street sounds around him. Car horns blared from behind. The light had turned green. He turned to the passenger seat. It was empty. He still had a tight not in his gut. It was very disquieting. He stepped on the gas pedal. The car moved slowly into the next block. He could see her on the next corner. She stood out among the others. There were three of them in all. He recognized the hair. The fake white fur coat ... the legs ... the shoes ... the shamefully short skirt. She was such a clich. It was disgraceful! And yet ... His passenger side window was down. He pulled in slowly. He knew how. He was glad that she was the one who approached when he came to a stop. Her expression was very suggestive as she gazed in through the window. "Hey, sexy! You want ...?" She stopped suddenly. Her smile vanished. "Oh. It's you." "No," he said with a placating hand gesture. "It's okay. I promise." "Aren't you that ass who called me a fornicator last time I saw you?" she recalled. "Didn't you call me a vile temptress who was going to Hell?" "Yes, I did say those things the other day," he admitted. "But I changed my mind." "You did?" she asked suspiciously. "Yes," he nodded. "I was wrong. It was all a terrible mistake. I was just in a bad mood because of work." "Really?" "I promise." "Are you saying you'd like to go for a ride?" "With you?" he smiled. "I couldn't think of anything sweeter." "Do you want to discuss rates first?" "We'll work that out as we go along," he said. "I can assure you price is no object." She looked him over. Nice suit. Then, she pulled back. "Wait a minute," she observed. "This isn't the same car you had a few days ago, is it? This looks like a brand new Cadillac." "That's right, baby," he said. "I just got it." "But, your last car was an old rust bucket." "I'm moving up in the world," he said. "Now, do you want to go for a ride or should I call for one of your friends over there?" "No, no," she quickly replied as she hopped in the car. "I'm the girl for you. Believe me. I'll treat you much better than either of those skanks. You won't regret sticking with me, sweetie." His eyes quickly scanned over the young woman beside him. She was very attractive. But, she was dressed like a whore. "Oh, I'm sure I won't," he said. "And I'm willing to bet you won't regret it either. I may even throw you something extra for your trouble. This should be an evening to remember." "Sounds great, lover," she said. "Lead the way." "Oh, I will." He shifted gears and pulled away from the curb. Meanwhile at the police station downtown, an officer answered the phone at his desk. "Hello," he said. "Eighth Precinct. Sgt. Boyle speaking. How may I help you?" "Yeah, I'd like to report a theft," said the caller. "Somebody stole my Cadillac. It's brand new, too. I just bought it last week!" * * * They were in a dark booth toward the back of the restaurant. Soft candlelight cast sensuous shadows. It seemed to flicker to the gentle beat of the music playing in the background. Even in this light, her sense of doubt reflected beautifully in her gorgeous blue eyes. "I don't know, Joe," she said. "The college term is over. My parents are expecting me to go back to Fulton for the summer." "What's the big deal?" he asked. "Tell them you have a job and you have to stay here. They should be okay with that. And what are you worried about? It's not as if you're lying. They should be happy you're doing so well." "But, how do I explain what I'm doing?" she asked. "Just tell the truth," he said. "Your internship turned out so well, your employer offered you a full-time job." "But, they know I was an intern for a senator," she said. "I know they're going to suspect something. I just know it!" "So what?" he rationalized. "Just deny it. They don't need to know. We'll keep it all a secret unless things get serious. Or should I say until things get serious. There's no reason to think they won't. You're happy, aren't you?" "Yeah. Sort of." "You seem unsure." "Well, don't get me wrong, Joe," she said reluctantly. "You've been great. You really have. It just all seems a little clich. A college intern having an affair with the senator who hired her. It all just feels ..." "I told you, Marissa," he said. "It's different with us. This is not just some cheap, sordid fling. My feelings for you are genuine." "But, you're married." "I already explained," he said. "When everything comes together and the time is right, I'll tell my wife. I'll even leave her for you, if you want. But we have to make sure this is the right thing to do first." "You can't leave your wife for me," she said. "You're a senator, for God's sake. You have a career on the line. Your private life is under constant public scrutiny." "Oh, people are a lot more forgiving than they used to be," he scoffed. "We can finesse our way through this when the time is right. Of course, it will have to be handled delicately. We'll have to keep things quiet for a while." "Still, you're older than my father." "Only by a year or two," he reasoned. "It's not that big a deal. Age is just a number, sweetheart. You can't make major decisions based on such trivialities." "Well, I don't know ..." "Don't I make you happy?" he asked. "Don't I give you everything you want?" "Yeah, I guess ..." "Don't overanalyze everything, Marissa," he advised. "You're an intelligent, beautiful young woman with your whole life ahead of you. You can have a brilliant career in law or even politics, wealth and the whole world at your feet. With me by your side, you can have it all!" "But ..." "No buts," he interrupted. "I love you, Marissa. I love you deeply. You do believe that, don't you?" "Yes." "Then, there's nothing for you to worry about," he continued. "Of course, we'll have to keep everything secret for the time being. But you can stay in town for the summer. I'll get you a nice apartment right here in the city. I'll pay for everything. You'll be working for me. And nobody will have any reason to stick their noses in our business." "Are you sure this is wise, Joe?" she asked. "My parents are expecting me to come home for the summer. They miss me. And I miss them." "You can visit them on the occasional weekend," he said. "I'm not trying to keep you from seeing them. I just don't want you to be gone for the whole summer. It would kill me to be away from you for that long. Surely your parents would understand that you have a summer job." "I guess." She looked down at her fork as she toyed with her food. "And wouldn't you miss me if we were apart?" he asked. "Of course," she said. "You know I love you." "Then it's settled," he said. "I'll get you that nice apartment I showed you right here in the city. I'll pay the rent. We can move you in there tomorrow. I'll take care of everything. And we won't have to be apart. We can see each other whenever we want." "It sounds good on the surface," she said timidly. "I just hope we're not making a huge mistake." "What mistake?" he assured her while taking her hand in his. "This is the right thing to do, Marissa. Trust me. We'll take it slow and keep everything confidential for the time being. But, we'll be together. Believe me, sweetheart. As long as we're careful, there can be no mistakes in a love like ours." "Really?" The vulnerability in her eyes was so becoming in the flickering candlelight. "You do trust me, don't you?" he asked. "Completely." "Then believe in me now," he said. "We're doing the right thing. I'll be taking care of you, and you have nothing to worry about." Her hand seemed so small and gentle in his loving grasp. He gave her delicate fingers a reassuring squeeze. She glanced down at the table. When she turned her gaze up to meet his, her eyes were even more beautiful and vulnerable than before. Her silence betrayed the depths of her fragility. "I promise, my darling," he said softly. "Everything will be fine." Her smile warmed his heart. He knew he was winning her over. "You're right," she said. "I'm being silly. I should be pitying all those poor fools out there who have to look for summer job ... or for love." "That's the spirit," he beamed. "You'll see. This will be a great summer. I promise. There's absolutely nothing to worry about." She glanced shyly down at her plate. Her smile grew warmer when she looked in his eyes again. (Continues...) Excerpted from Paradoxby Donald Gorman Copyright © 2009 by Donald Gorman. Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Reviews

News