Horror Movie Talk

Synopsis

The Exorcism is about Farther Gabriel Amorth played by Russel Crowe, who…wait no sorry that’s the popes exorcist I keep getting confused. The exorcism is really about Anthony or Tony played by Russel Crowe who is a washed up actor who tries out for a leading role in an upcoming exorcism movie while attempting to overcome his serious drinking problem. With the loss of his wife, Tony sends his teenage daughter Lee to a catholic boarding school, but when she is kicked out for in her words “protesting” but in the words of the law “vandalism”, she returns home and the reunion is tense. When Tony lands the role as the exorcist in this new emotional drama in the format of a horror movie weird things start happening on and off set. Will Tony survive the making of this movie? Will his family survive his alcoholism? Will Russel Crowe be in another exorcism movie next year? Whose to say.

Review of The Exorcism

My review for the exorcism is that it is pretty much exactly what I expected it to be. Its a catholic horror movie about a demon who needs to be exorcised. The scares aren’t that interesting, and some of the jump scares are so loud and quickly cut that I literally didn’t even know what happening. It was just startling and gave me zero information about what was actually going on in the film. Russel Crowes acting was actually pretty good in my opinion, but I think his voice is so deep and gravelly that it could be that I just enjoyed listening to him talk. The other star of the movie for me was the director played by Adam Goldberg who delivers both the funniest lines in the movie and the most emotionally brutal lines. The rest of the cast is kind of whatever to me. My favorite part of the movie was how it demonstrated the exploitation of trauma in the film industry which was pretty sad to watch. My least favorite parts were anything dealing with the demon cause I didn’t even really get what was happening or why. Maybe this really was a drama cloaked as a horror movie after all.

Score 4/10

Synopsis

The film follows the lives of two women as they navigate an uncharted territory of human experience, exploring themes of desire, taboo, and the limits of societal norms. The narrative delves into the depths of physical and emotional extremes.

It starts out in medias res with a young couple engaging in a love making session, after which, they enjoy a home cooked meal. However, the film quickly turns dark as they both develop food poisoning. Their bond remains strong and they struggle through sickness together powered by their love.

Review

Not since Skinamarink have I seen such a daring and controversial film push the boundaries of conventional filmmaking and audience tolerance. 

Unlike Skinamarink, 2 Girls 1 Cup lives up to the hype, andI felt engaged throughout the duration of the film.

It’s not without it’s faults. I would have preferred more character development and I felt the pacing was too fast to digest on first viewing. The soundtrack at times felt like it was disconnected from the action on screen. I know a lot of films score against the tone of the film to great effect, such as in Tarantino films, but this one just felt out of place and overly maudlin. 

What I liked about the film was it’s unflinching portrayal of two lovers struggling through hardship together. It’s a film that will stay with me for some time, and I imagine I’ll revisit again in the future.

Score

10/10 

Who watches the watchers? We do! In this episode of Horror Movie Talk, we review the nepo baby Ishana Night Shyamalan’s new horror movie The Watchers. Should you watch it? Watch to find out.

Synopsis

The watchers is the first feature length film by writer/director Ishana Night Shyamalan, the daughter of M Night Shyamalan. Her previous work includes being a writer/director on her father’s Servant series on Apple TV+.

In this film, Dakota Fanning plays Mina, an American expat in Ireland who is tasked with delivering a parrot. Along the way she gets lost in some weird woods from which there is no escape. There she finds a group of people that have also been stranded in the woods. They lead her into a solitary shelter in the middle of the forest and explain that they are to stand as display in a two way mirror for mysterious killer creatures that come out at night.

As the days pass, Mina attempts to learn more about the woods to find an escape.

Review of The Watchers

The film sits currently at 32% on Rotten Tomatoes, and I can say that that seems pretty harsh. It’s not a terrible movie, but it’s not great either. As they say in the old country, The Shyamalan doesn’t fall far from the tree. This film suffers from some of the same on-the nose dialogue and an overreliance on exposition to tell the story.

The set up is ripe for possibilities. Could it be a human zoo run by aliens or interdimensional travelers? Could it be an elaborate hallucination? Could it be a time loop? In the end, the explanation is a little more close to home and fantastical that science fiction, which was actually a welcome surprise. However, I still feel there was a lot of lost opportunity around hallucination, and shape shifting, which are both present in the story.

The film was bought purportedly for 30 million, and hasn’t yet made back half of that in the box office. If you are wondering if it is worth it to see in the theaters, I think the litmus test is whether you thought it was worth it to see Old in the theaters.

Score

5/10

Synopsis

The Grudge 2004 is an Americanized version of the movie Ju-on, a Japanese franchise about a curse of resentment and anger. Both Ju-on and The Grudge are directed by Takashi Shimizu, and the Grudge is produced by (among others) Sam Raimi. The movie stars Sarah Michelle Gellar as Karen, an American who moved to Japan with her boyfriend to study nursing. While attending to her first in-home patient, Emma, who is an elderly woman with dementia, she realizes that there might be something dark lurking in the home. After some creepy occurrences, Karen has no choice but to dig deeper into the house’s history and the legends surrounding it. 

Review

The Grudge has interesting ghost lore, which isn’t too different from the way we view ghosts in America, but adds emphasis on reliving the violent past, which I think is fun and gives the viewer a bit more to latch onto as far as why the ghost exists. The ghost looks extremely creepy in most scenes, with a face that genuinely terrified me as a kid, even before I had seen the movie. Its mark on pop culture is undeniable. However, a part of me likes my memory of this movie more than the movie itself. Some of the scenes feel pretty copy and paste, especially the scenes about Karen trying to research the house and learn clues. Some of the scares came off as a bit goofy, which is fine, except that the tone of the movie is very heavy, so these silly-looking scares can feel a little out of place and unintentional. Still, the movie is good, in my opinion, and has a place within my mind that will never go away. 

Score: 8/10

Synopsis

Perfect Blue follows the story of Mima, a pop star who turns her life around to become an aspiring actress. As she goes deeper into her role on a crime thriller tv show, she realizes that someone might be stalking her. The line between reality and acting becomes thinner and thinner as the anxiety of fame and her potential stalker rise.

Review

This movie is impeccable. Director Satoshi Kon forces the viewer to descend into Mima’s madness by blurring the line between real and fantasy throughout the course of the film with quick cuts, disorienting scenes, and an overall sense of unknowingness. Making an anime horror film be this good, this widely received and revered is no easy feat, but Kon makes it look like a cake walk. This is one of my favorite movies of all time, and one of my favorite directors of all time. The sense of dread, doom, and anxiety get bigger and bigger until it all comes to a head at the end of the movie. It is emotional, thrilling, scary, and hard to follow, but that is what makes it perfect. Perfect blue. Get it. Haha

Score

10/10

Synopsis

Based on the 1976 novel by Anne Rice, Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles tells the autobiographical story of a Vampire named Louis de Pointe du Lac (played by Brad Pitt) being turned and taught by the vampire Lestat (Tom Cruise). They are just very good vampire friends and totally not gay. 

After becoming a vampire, Louis discovers he has great powers, and uses them to have the poutiest mouth and become as emo as possible.

He makes a lot of friends along the way, including Kirsten Dunst playing a pedo’s dream, as well as Zorro.

Review of Interview with the Vampire (1994)

This is probably my favorite vampire movie, so I’m biased, but I still think it holds up. It focuses on the coolest part of the vampire stories, the vampires, and gets rid of the pesky humans.

This is also probably one of my favorite roles of Tom Cruise. His playfulness and arrogance as Lestat carries the majority of the movie. 

Kirsten Dunst also puts in one of the greatest performances of her career as a convincing forty year old in a child’s body.

Brad Pitt is the only one that upon rewatching becomes less interesting every reviewing. There’s really nothing for him to do other than pout and look pretty. But granted, he does that very well here.

What the film does best is maintain a vibe of sexy morbidness. 

Seeing this in my youth, I was distracted by the boobs in this movie, and only now realize how extremely gay coded the film is.

Louis’s alternating between reveling in being a vampire and being shamed by it really represented what it must have felt like to be gay in the early 90s.

The director Neil Jordan had just come off of directing The Crying Game and was really at the peak of his powers. Looking at his IMDB page, it’s only been downhill from here. 

Stan Winton’s special effects and makeup is perfectly understated and makes the vampires seem otherworldly and the killings properly visceral.

A lot of stars aligned with this film and I still think it stands the test of time. If you want to watch a bunch of sexy vampires almost kissing, this is the movie for you.

Score

10/10

Synopsis

A couple embarks on a journey across the country for their five year anniversary. After their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere Oregon, they have no choice but to stay in a cabin in the woods. When Ryan, played by Froy Gutierrez, runs back into town to grab something he forgot out of his car, Maya played by Madeline Petsch starts hearing and seeing strange things in the cabin, almost like someone else is in the house.

Review of The Strangers Chapter 1

I really hated this movie. Like, really hated. I didn’t really know what to expect, but taking what didn’t work from the original and even at some points taking direct lines and situations from the original and cramming it into the already too long 90 minute run time was atrocious. I don’t know if I was just tired, but I almost fell asleep at multiple points due to boredom. At the beginning of the movie, there is text on screen that says this movie will show us one of the most brutal crimes committed in America. I will tell you, I have seen worse things on Twitter in the past week. The writing is terrible, it plays like a crappy ripoff of a Wayans Brothers film, I seriously laughed at a lot of points that were not supposed to be funny out of pure hatred. The two main characters who are supposed to be in a five year loving relationship have zero chemistry. Every action they take in trying to survive is the dumbest route they could have chosen. I really really hated this movie. It was bad. It degrades the masterpiece that is the original, and I mean that. The original is an incredibly scary and moving horror film, and this one shits all over it. I walked out of the theater chuckling to myself.

Score

2/10

Synopsis

Arachnophobia is a movie about Ross, a doctor who moves with his family to a rural town to take over the practice of the town doctor. When a Venezuelan spider arrives in the town through extremely unlikely circumstances, Ross must unravel the mysterious deaths in the town as killer spiders ravish the community. The townsfolk are dropping like flies, and it seems like the only hope for this city is a ragtag team of spider experts/doctors/exterminators/interns. Will they overcome the eight-legged hoard? Or will they be consumed by the hellish nightmare that is the common house spider?

Review of Arachnophobia

Arachnophobia is directed by Frank Marshall from a screenplay written by Don Jakoby and Wesley Strick. Starring Jeff Daniels as Ross and John Goodman as the exterminator, this movie gives a goofy and fun story that scares me to no end. I couldn’t get past a single scene without checking to see if there was a creepy crawly on my body. This movie is entertaining and enjoyable to watch, even for an arachnophobe like me. The story feels improbable, but not so far-fetched that the average spider hater won’t feel incredibly uncomfortable in their own home for weeks after watching.

Score

8/10

Synopsis

A group of friends rent a mansion to celebrate one of their birthdays and run out of alcohol. In their search around the house for more booze they stumble upon an old hand painted tarot deck and Haley, the friend who can read tarot cards, reads all of their horoscopes. Then chaos ensues as they start being killed one by one by the embodiment of the ruling cards in their individual readings.

Review

This movie isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen but it is also not very good. I did like the costumes and effects of the tarot card creatures, there were a few funny lines (and by a few I mean two), but the script and acting was definitely lacking, leading it to be predictable and a bit silly in a bad way. I was worried that this movie was going to be very offensive toward tarot as a whole, but it took a different direction than I had originally thought, but it still wasn’t perfect either. I wasn’t fully entertained, I scoffed at a lot of moves the characters made, but I wasn’t completely bored either. 

Score

4/10

Synopsis

The Birds is a romantic comedy turned aviation nightmare. When the rich socialite and practical joker Melanie runs into a charming lawyer named Mitch in a bird shop, she does the creepiest thing ever and tracks down his name and address. After driving hours to get to his weekend home in a small town called Bodega Bay. As Mitch and Melanie slowly but surely fall in love, the birds in the area seem to be going crazy and possibly waging a Planet of the Apes-style war except in this movie, the apes are birds. Eyes are plucked out. Hair is messed up. They kiss. What more could you ask for? 

Review of The Birds

The Birds, directed by Alfred Hitchcock, is a movie that cant really surprise you in any way. It’s basically exactly what you would expect it to be, a movie about birds that attack people. Melanie played by Tippi Hedren is annoying at times, but her creepy love for Mitch played by Rod Taylor is enjoyable enough to keep me engaged with the film. For me, it almost seemed random how the movie would be focusing on the relationship that building between these characters, and them some bird would just swoop out of the air and attack. There isn’t a lot of buildup or explanation about why the birds are attacking. In fact there is even a moment where the characters meet a bird expert, which would have been a good time to maybe give some information about why all this might be happening, but the bird expert somehow is completely wrong about everything she says, making me wonder why they even included that scene at all. In the end, it is a fine movie that kept me engaged enough throughout most of it but not really anything special to me. 

Score 

6/10