SCP Archives

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Situationally Comedic Persons #3: Janice S.

Released on 03/19/2026

"This is not how this was supposed to go! Step one: go to college, check. Step two: graduate top of my class, check. Step three: go back to college and get my PHD, CHECK. Step four: get a high paying job in my field... NO CHECK!"

Transcript

Patrons

Jan 15 - Jan 21

Glass, Richard Petty, Ashley Laabs, luki wojciech, Delta, Hazel, Paul Schwarz, Alicia Wilder, Robert Hayes, Nagata Tonikoza, Luke, Mikyle Gantz, ReliableSage328, Octavio, Matthew Oshamoko, and TCW!

Cast & Crew

SCP Archives was created by Pacific S. Obadiah & Jon Grilz

"Situationally Comedic Persons" was written by Hannah Schooner & Giancarlo Herrera

Janice - Kayla Temshiv

Teddy - David Ault

Fren - Erika Sanderson

Rodney - TJ Berry

Kurt & Burt - Josh Rubino

Holmwood - Jordan Cobb

Supervisor 1 - Derrick Valen

Supervisor 2 - Ashley Heather Quills

David - Chris Harris-Beechy

Educational Video Instructor - Stephen Indrisano

D-Class 1 - Mick Wheaton

D-Class 2 - Isaiah Rothstein

Chauffer - Rissa Montanez

Dr. Elena - Hannah Schooner

Reality TV Show Host - Bailey Wolfe

Interviewer - Marquiz Moore

D-12601 - Daisy McNamara

D-12603 - Hannah Schooner

D-12602 - Pacific S. Obadiah

D-12605 - Giancarlo Herrera

Art by Pacific S. Obadiah

Theme Song & Original Music by Mattie Roi Berger

Dialogue Editing - Giancarlo Herrera & Hannah Schooner

Sound Design - Hannah Schooner

Directing by Giancarlo Herrera

Showruning - Daisy McNamara

Creative Director - Pacific S. Obadiah

Executive Producer - Tom Owen

Presented by Bloody FM

Store: https://store.dftba.com/collections/scp-archives
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scp_pod/

Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/scparchives.bsky.social

Newsletter: https://pacificobadiah.com

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Situationally Comedic Persons #2: Fren M.

Released on 03/12/2026

"Fren M. 62 year old Sanitation worker that's been with the Foundation for over 30 years. Bit of an unusual case. Previously employed by a community college on a night shift, the Foundation hired them on the spot after cleaning up a containment gone wrong. Having found the gruesome remnants on school grounds, they simply got to work without question. They didn't leave a single stain."

Patrons

Jan 8 - Jan 14

Isaac Buitron, Munnka Man, Donald Crosthwaite, Hyperion Orange, "...", Your_Local_Birate, and Jordan Barnett

Cast & Crew

SCP Archives was created by Pacific S. Obadiah & Jon Grilz

"Situationally Comedic Persons" was written by Hannah Schooner & Giancarlo Herrera

Fren - Erika Sanderson

Rodney - TJ Berry

Janice - Kayla Temshiv

Kurt & Burt - Josh Rubino

Holmwood - Jordan Cobb

Supervisor 1 - Derrick Valen

Supervisor 2 - Ashley Heather Quills

Educational Video Instructor - Stephen Indrisano

Podcast Host - Fay Roberts

D-Class 1 - Mick Wheaton

D-Class 2 - Isaiah Rothstein

Elevator - Tal Minear

Employee 1 - Mattie roi Berger

Office Worker 1 - Shelby Novak

Office Worker 2 - Mike Fielding

Office Worker 3 - Chris Harris-Beechy

Scientist 1 - Pacific S. Obadiah

Scientist 2 - B. Narr

Security Guard - Damon Alums

Research Assistant - Daisy McNamara

Art by Pacific S. Obadiah

Theme Song & Original Music by Mattie Roi Berger

Dialogue Editing - Giancarlo Herrera & Hannah Schooner

Sound Design - Hannah Schooner

Directing by Giancarlo Herrera

Showruning - Daisy McNamara

Creative Director - Pacific S. Obadiah

Executive Producer - Tom Owen

Presented by Bloody FM

Store: https://store.dftba.com/collections/scp-archives
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scp_pod/

Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/scparchives.bsky.social

Newsletter: https://pacificobadiah.com

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Situationally Comedic Persons #1: Orientation

Released on 03/05/2026

"Hello! My name is Rodney and today I've got my famous Weekend Bowl for your tasting pleasure."

Patrons

Jan 1 - Jan 7

Max Ziel, Niffer, Spooki, Nova, Braden Lewis, Jeremy McGeown, Skye_404, Alec, Kristopher Burgess, Soren Watson, RedneckGamer, Wicked Kilo, Jaiden, Punkie Boozer, TJReds, and Julia!

Cast & Crew

"Situationally Comedic Persons" was written by Hannah Schooner & Giancarlo Herrera

Rodney - TJ Berry

Fren - Erika Sanderson

Janice - Kayla Temshiv

Kurt & Burt - Josh Rubino

Holmwood - Jordan Cobb

Supervisor 1 - Derrick Valen

Supervisor 2 - Ashley Heather Quills

Jack - Brandon P Jenkins

David - Chris Harris-Beechey

Orientation Video - Stephen Indrisano

D-12601 - Daisy McNamara

D-12602 - Pacific S. Obadiah

D-12603 - Hannah Schooner

D-12605 - Giancarlo Herrera

Rodney's Mom - Elissa Park

Art by Pacific S. Obadiah

Theme Song & Original Music by Mattie roi Berger

Dialogue Editing - Giancarlo Herrera & Hannah Schooner

Sound Design - Hannah Schooner

Directing by Giancarlo Herrera

Showruning - Daisy McNamara

Creative Director - Pacific S. Obadiah

Executive Producer - Tom Owen

Presented by Bloody FM

Store: https://store.dftba.com/collections/scp-archives
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scp_pod/

Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/scparchives.bsky.social

Newsletter: https://pacificobadiah.com

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Presenting: Something's Amiss at Juniper's House

Released on 03/04/2026

Listen to "Something's Amiss at Juniper's House" wherever you listen to podcasts!

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3UBIVpBtlUt9yqsmothYWk?si=a42de3d3a30d4fc3

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/somethings-amiss-at-junipers-house/id1875054474

Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/8b1f775c-7b8d-4829-ad6f-fe0da376b98b/something's-amiss-at-juniper's-house

Finley's life is quiet. Dull. Boring, even.

But today is different. Because today... they meet the girl of their dreams.

Content Warnings: Screaming, Gunshot SFX, A whole bunch of curse words

Thank you for listening to "Something's Amiss at Juniper's House".

To support the show directly, please consider leaving them a review on your listening platform of choice, or joining their Patreon!

Presented by Bloody FM

Store: https://store.dftba.com/collections/scp-archives
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scp_pod/

Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/scparchives.bsky.social

Newsletter: https://pacificobadiah.com

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SCP-7376: “Cain and Abel- Part 2: Cain”

Released on 02/26/2026

SCP 073 is a heavily-tanned male of Middle Eastern descent. Subject appears to be in his early thirties. He is 185 centimeters tall and weighs 75 kilograms. He has black hair and blue eyes. The arms, legs, spinal cord, and shoulder blades of the subject have been replaced with advanced beryllium bronze prosthetics of an unknown design.

Content Warnings: Desecration of a human body, Discussions about the end of the world, Forced imprisonment, Mentions of slavery, Violence between family members, Weapons of mass destruction

Requested by Loggerhead on Discord.

Patrons

Pt 2 - Dec 22-31

Amandazillapop, HPCringecraft, Sam Clayt, overcast51, vanjerino, DazAnOrk, Jackson Zenger, Cole Martin, Dominic Wills, GamesandCereal, SteelRook00205, Oskar Mastalerz, Khaos Kelly, paradoz430, Paul Kenney, Marielle Nunez, Tom Torrens, Charles Pratta, Smack Turmoil, and Lukas Danner

Cast & Crew

SCP Archives was created by Pacific S. Obadiah & Jon Grilz

Script by Kevin Whitlock

With content from:

SCP-073 by Kain Pathos Crow

SCP-076 by Kain Pathos Crow & DrClef

SCP-7376 by MontagueETC

Computer - Ben Counter

O5-8 - Kale Brown

O5-5 - Elissa Park

O5-2 - Fay Roberts

Private Rosales - Rissa Montañez

Captain Miller - Vic Collins

Oscar-15 - Damon Alums

Mekhanist - Giancarlo Herrera

Abel - Nasim Benelkour

Cain - Karim Kronfli

Art - Eduardo Valdés-Hevia

Music- Newt Schottelkotte

Theme Song- Mattie Roi Berger

Sound Designer - Brad Colbroock

Showrunner - Daisy McNamara

Creative Director - Pacific S. Obadiah

Executive Producer - Tom Owen

Presented by Bloody FM

Store: https://store.dftba.com/collections/scp-archives
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scp_pod/

Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/scparchives.bsky.social

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

SCP-7376: “Cain and Abel- Part 1: Abel”

Released on 02/24/2026

SCP 076 consists of two components: a stone cube designated SCP 076-1, and the humanoid entity contained within– designated SCP 076-2.

Content Warnings: Forced imprisonment, Gun violence, Gore and dismemberment

Requested by Loggerhead on Discord.

Patrons

Pt 1 - Dec 16-21

M'ris Berlin, Ninja, /ˈɡɑɹˌfiɫd/ (good luck with that one), Chandler Roy, David Hochhausen, Thomas Hacker, Hunter, Lorelai Blake, Levi, william seymour, and Alissa Wiles

Cast & Crew

SCP Archives was created by Pacific S. Obadiah & Jon Grilz

Script by Kevin Whitlock

With content from:

SCP-073 by Kain Pathos Crow

SCP-076 by Kain Pathos Crow & DrClef

SCP-7376 by MontagueETC

Computer - Ben Counter

Giles.AIC - Kayla Temshiv

O5-8 - Kale Brown

O5-5 - Elissa Park

O5-2 - Fay Roberts

Private Rosales - Rissa Montañez

Private Samson - Russ More

Captain Miller - Vic Collins

Oscar-15 - Damon Alums

Lieutenant McNabb - Hannah Schooner

Abel - Nasim Benelkour

Art - Eduardo Valdés-Hevia

Music- Newt Schottelkotte

Theme Song- Mattie Roi Berger

Sound Designer - Brad Colbroock

Showrunner - Daisy McNamara

Creative Director - Pacific S. Obadiah

Executive Producer - Tom Owen

Presented by Bloody FM

Store: https://store.dftba.com/collections/scp-archives
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scp_pod/

Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/scparchives.bsky.social

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Feed Drop: REDACTED

Released on 02/21/2026

Introducing [REDACTED]; from Athan (The Grotto) and Jamie Petronis (The Cellar Letters)

Following the death of his twin, failing actor Jacob Kane assumes his late-brother’s life in hopes of a fresh start. Instead of finding stability, Jacob finds himself working within The [REDACTED] Unit, a covert agency tasked with containing impossible creatures and phenomena. As he becomes entangled with paranormal forces and secret agendas, Jacob begins to discover a sense of belonging in a place he never expected.

Equal parts horror and workplace satire, [REDACTED] takes inspiration from late 90s & early 2000s television like procedural monster-of-the-week shows X-files & Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and the classic ensemble banter of Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Psych.

Visit their website: https://theredactedunit.com/
Join the discussion: http://theredactedunit.com/discord

[REDACTED] S1E1: False Start (Part 1)

Jacob Kane makes a big life change

Starring:

Jamie Petronis as Jacob Kane

Athan as Eli Reyes

Dan Morris as The Strict Producer

Jeffrey Reddick as The Anxious Screenwriter

Karen Neat as Server

James Spurney as as Phil (Landlord)

Nathan Lundsford as Jordan Kane

Harlan Guthrie as ■■■

Zoe D. Lee as ■■■■■

Ben Akira Spencer as Officer

Ioana Adascalitei as Jody (Paramedic)

General Show Warnings

Recurring themes of violence and peril, horror, death and grief, sudden & unsettling audio, use of weapons, secret-police/cover-ups, strong language.

Presented by Bloody FM

Store: https://store.dftba.com/collections/scp-archives
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scp_pod/

Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/scparchives.bsky.social

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Feed Drop: REDACTED

Released on 02/21/2026

Introducing [REDACTED]; from Athan (The Grotto) and Jamie Petronis (The Cellar Letters)

Following the death of his twin, failing actor Jacob Kane assumes his late-brother’s life in hopes of a fresh start. Instead of finding stability, Jacob finds himself working within The [REDACTED] Unit, a covert agency tasked with containing impossible creatures and phenomena. As he becomes entangled with paranormal forces and secret agendas, Jacob begins to discover a sense of belonging in a place he never expected.

Equal parts horror and workplace satire, [REDACTED] takes inspiration from late 90s & early 2000s television like procedural monster-of-the-week shows X-files & Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and the classic ensemble banter of Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Psych.

Visit their website: https://theredactedunit.com/
Join the discussion: http://theredactedunit.com/discord

[REDACTED] S1E1: False Start (Part 1)

Jacob Kane makes a big life change

Starring:

Jamie Petronis as Jacob Kane

Athan as Eli Reyes

Dan Morris as The Strict Producer

Jeffrey Reddick as The Anxious Screenwriter

Karen Neat as Server

James Spurney as as Phil (Landlord)

Nathan Lundsford as Jordan Kane

Harlan Guthrie as ■■■

Zoe D. Lee as ■■■■■

Ben Akira Spencer as Officer

Ioana Adascalitei as Jody (Paramedic)

General Show Warnings

Recurring themes of violence and peril, horror, death and grief, sudden & unsettling audio, use of weapons, secret-police/cover-ups, strong language.

Presented by Bloody FM

Store: https://store.dftba.com/collections/scp-archives
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scp_pod/

Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/scparchives.bsky.social

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

SCP-6504: “Screaming Sun, Hollowed Moon”

Released on 02/19/2026

This file is under revision. Recordings have been submitted by Junior Researcher Lyndhoff for review. Playing File: 6504-DRAFT-2.The following recording takes place in the home of Junior ResearcherLyndoff on an unknown date.

Content Warnings: Misphonia, Mental illness, Body horror, Prolonged and persistent descriptions of physical trauma, Suicidal ideation, Suicide attempt, Foul language.

Requested by Evil Guy on Discord.